Question about how to get over the past

[kalilavey]

Ok... me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over 2 years (not long I know) and we've hit a few bumps in the road that have me questioning if I should trust him or not. Backing up quite a fews years; I've been through abusive relationships (physical and emotional) I can usually spot warning signs here or there, so of course with anything and everything in my life im extremely guarded and absolutely do not trust anyone very easily. When me and my boyfriend, lets call him A, first got together we both had just gotten out of horrible, emotionally scarring relationships and decided it would be best to just be friends with benefits. That went on for a few months and he took me around alot of his friends to hang out and one of his friends, lets call her dirty pig whore (or dpw for short), was one of his close "friends". She claimed to be a lesbian but everytime me and A went over to her house he would slap her ass right in front of me and she would giggle and blush and think it was cute... i figured lesbians didnt enjoy male attention like that so i started to wonder.

 

After a few more months and getting closer to A, we decided to take the relationship to the next step and be commited to each other. After a couple months of that I raised the question if A and dpw had slept together and of course like most guys A denied it, me being slightly paranoid i admit, i didnt believe him. He would make beers runs for this girl and do everything she asked when she asked without a second thought, everyone else he did this for he would charge them something or take some beers. She would just use him for everything and anything she could and im not one to let my boyfriend have some dumb bitch try and use him like that. So one night I asked him why he favored her over the rest of his friends ( including his best friend S) and he of course claimed he didnt realise he was doing it and I told him to prove to me that there wasnt anything going on so he took a couple beers from her batch one night. Right after he did he said he felt bad (which of course didnt sit with me well).

Finally after a while dpw began giving me ****ty looks (and I mean directed just to me giving me a look that said i want to fight you) which just made me hate the bitch even more. After her making a big scene in front of our mutual friends, saying she had to leave because I was coming over and what not, I finally asked her what her problem was with me because I never did anything intentionally to make her mad. All she had to say was that my boyfriend went over to her house to talk about the situation without telling me, hung out there for over an hour with her **** talking me the whole time, and told her that I thought they had slept together and she hated me for it... didnt understand that either, so once she started getting smart ass with me i just told her i dont take **** from stupid, ignorant little girls that think they have game and next time I see her we can handle it woman to woman... it took me over an hour to get him to confess to going over there (only after being pretty much cornered) and he swears hell never do anything like that again and only did it to improve the situation. (yeah...ok)

 

Sorry this is so long but I seriously have no idea if I should trust him or not, it seems like everything he says I just go back to that feelings of being betrayed and lied to and its nearly impossible for me to believe him even when proof is right in front of me. And this instance isnt everything there have been just so many circumstances that just scream liar but he denies every bit of it and claims its all just coincidence. I do not know what to do!!! hes meticulous and im sure deletes his history and everything else by now how can I tell if hes lying or not?

I admit im not perfect and Im sure Ive had my moments of extreme paranoia or overly bitchiness but truthfully what woman hasnt felt or acted that way? I just need some advice on how to either tell if hes lying or just get passed all of these horrible feelings...

[kalilavey]

ok seriously wtf ppl? i just need some advice all these people can read this but no one can offer any helpful advice at all? **** it then ill just keep dwelling on it until i snap i guess, im sure my explanation is a bit scattered but i just need someone to help

[Nic26]

Follow your instinct, and you will know.

 

If you're unhappy in the relationship, that's the bottom line really. Who wants to be unhappy? Without respect and trust for each other, you have nothing.