minorsecond Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 (edited) So, on Friday, I asked a woman if she wanted to hang out Tuesday evening, which she happily agreed to (this was over text, mind you. I tried calling, but she was busy with rehearsals all day, so she told me to text). This was to be our third date, after amazing first and second dates. Shortly thereafter, she apologized and said she forgot that she has rehearsals until 11 PM all week, which is the truth. I replied "ahhh. Haha.. No worries," to which she replied "I'll keep you posted, though!" This was Friday, and I haven't heard from her since. I haven't tried contacting her, but I don't know what I'd say if I did. I'd like to see her, for sure, but I don't want to appear needy or clingy. It's not a big deal, really. I just don't know if I should try getting in touch with her tonight, tomorrow, or just wait until she hits me up. I don't really want to mess up this time, ya know? She's pretty cool. TL;DR: Woman said she would get back to me about doing something Tuesday night, since she'll be busy with rehearsals all week That was Friday and haven't heard from her since. I do know she's interested & not playing games. What to do? Edited November 8, 2011 by minorsecond
USMCHokie Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Go meet and date other women while she gets her sh*t together.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 She's not interested if she can't even bother to call or text. And the whole excuse thing is stupid because she's probably not even sincere to call and apologize.
USMCHokie Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 (edited) She's not interested if she can't even bother to call or text. And the whole excuse thing is stupid because she's probably not even sincere to call and apologize. Holy geebus, look who the cat dragged in... But I have to agree, the moment she said, "I'll keep you posted," that was your cue to get on with your life and let her hit the ball back to your side of the court. Edited November 8, 2011 by USMCHokie
xpaperxcutx Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Holy geebus, look who the cat dragged in... Yeah no kidding. I wanted to edit my post but you had to " quote" me:mad: I meant to write " She's not even sincere if she can't even pick up the phone to apologize."
carhill Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 With the amount of rehearsals she's doing, I hope she wins a Tony award, perhaps in drama. Seriously, who 'forgets' that kind of stuff? Move on.
Author minorsecond Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 Thanks y'all. That's kind of what I was thinking, and have been doing. So, it looks like I've been doing the right thing, after all!
unknownsources Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 With the amount of rehearsals she's doing, I hope she wins a Tony award, perhaps in drama. Seriously, who 'forgets' that kind of stuff? Move on. Well, as someone who has been shlepped into hours and hours of music rehearsals for a group performance, I know that they really can pop out of nowhere. If they were scheduled before and she forgot then it's entirely her fault. But sometimes the director will change stuff or add rehearsals at the last minute; I know I've forgotten when something was added on short notice. To the OP, if you're really interested (and if it were me), I'd send something over, just as a feeler, to see what's up. If she delays longer, then move on and let her deal with getting back in contact. If she's really interested, she can at least get back to you with something. Seems a bit hard to believe she wouldn't have at least a short break to call you up and tell you what's goin on though...
Author minorsecond Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 That too ^^ Maybe just a quick text that asks how the rehearsals are going or something. I'll wait until Thursday.
USMCHokie Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Seems a bit hard to believe she wouldn't have at least a short break to call you up and tell you what's goin on though... Eh, if she was truly interested, she would have created that short break to call him up. Too busy = not interested or not dateable.
unknownsources Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Eh, if she was truly interested, she would have created that short break to call him up. Too busy = not interested or not dateable. Very true, but we don't really know the circumstances. Seriously, it's amazing how bad a rehearsal can be for focus on other things. I've had rehearsal days where even in breaks I couldn't clear my head of the stuff from the rehearsal. Breaks were time to grab a handful of chips (aka lunch) and take a quick breather outside before going back for more. I guess it goes both ways. If the first/second dates were as good as stated in the original post, couldn't hurt to send a feeler text, but if she felt the same way she probably could've made a minute or two.
Author minorsecond Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 In all honesty she seemed very interested in me on our last date and our conversations since. They're show opens Friday (she's in opera) so they've got a crazy week. I don't think she's trying to let me down at all. I do think she could have at least made a 2 or 3 minute window to give me a quick call, or even a text. So, after reading the replies and thinking over the situation, I do think I will just wait it out until Thursday or Friday and give a her a call.
unknownsources Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 In all honesty she seemed very interested in me on our last date and our conversations since. They're show opens Friday (she's in opera) so they've got a crazy week. I don't think she's trying to let me down at all. I do think she could have at least made a 2 or 3 minute window to give me a quick call, or even a text. So, after reading the replies and thinking over the situation, I do think I will just wait it out until Thursday or Friday and give a her a call. Sounds like a good plan to me. You goin to the show?
Mrlonelyone Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 (edited) In all honesty she seemed very interested in me on our last date and our conversations since. They're show opens Friday (she's in opera) so they've got a crazy week. I don't think she's trying to let me down at all. I pursued someone in that same line of work. We had known eachother for six months. We met in a pole dancing class (regular seeing eachother in states of undress with more than normal physical contact). Despite initial interest and some non-trivial out of class socializing it did not work out. Funny thing is one minute we were texting before the show; the next I'm being told she never ever wants to see me again. Admittedly due to my being transgender (as in a male who lives life as a woman) that may have scrambled her brains a bit, in hindsight that probably played a role. It was a funny thing, meeting a woman was the farthest thing from my mind at the time. Before that I had only had feelings for one other woman. I was and still am about the fellas for the most part. If I wasn't I could not have had full frontal contact with a woman without....detection. So I know how hard those folks have to work to put on those shows. Especially if you are in a major city. I do think she could have at least made a 2 or 3 minute window to give me a quick call, or even a text. ^^THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU HAVE WRITTEN IN THIS THREAD. Even a person who ultimately it did not work out with was able to keep in touch with me on a somewhat regular basis. How long does it take to send a text? I mean really? I'm sorry to say that inspite the act this woman must really not give two shakes and you should emotionally divorce yourself from the situation. So, after reading the replies and thinking over the situation, I do think I will just wait it out until Thursday or Friday and give a her a call. If you give that phone call after that no contact unless she initiates. That way whatever happens the ball is in her court. At this point you have nothing to loose from that. As for going to see their show, I highly recommend it. Opera is high art and you will enjoy it if you like classical music and themes at all. Only if the cost of a ticket isn't a big deal to you. TL;DR: I have been precisely where you are OP. While people in that profession are legitimately busy trying to put on a show. It is also true that they are not busy ALL the time. She is at least not being very fair to or considerate of you at all, and you should emotionally start to distance yourself. Make that one last phone call and if you get nothing back cut all ties. Edited November 8, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
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