Easyguy14 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Im a single guy hoping to meet a decent-looking woman anywhere in her late 20s & 30s. Im in a solid career that's only going to get better, as the mortality rate continues to climb. I would like to develop a relationship at some point. but most of my female friends aren't doing anything to help it out. my coworker who I consider a friend has tons of single friends. she is always talking about them but when I mention meeting them she just goes silent. what's going on here? Im bothered by this because with my working schedule I just dont have the time & inclination to be meeting women out at the bars & in the streets. any guys wanna chip in on this?
USMCHokie Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Your female friends don't owe it to you to hook you up with their friends. Or perhaps they don't think you'd be a good match. Or they dont want the potential awkwardness that could come from it if things failed. Or they don't think you're as awesome as you think you are. So many possible reasons... Try online dating. Stop being lazy.
jobaba Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 (edited) Im a single guy hoping to meet a decent-looking woman anywhere in her late 20s & 30s. Im in a solid career that's only going to get better, as the mortality rate continues to climb. I would like to develop a relationship at some point. but most of my female friends aren't doing anything to help it out. my coworker who I consider a friend has tons of single friends. she is always talking about them but when I mention meeting them she just goes silent. what's going on here? Im bothered by this because with my working schedule I just dont have the time & inclination to be meeting women out at the bars & in the streets. any guys wanna chip in on this? Big topic and a VERY good question. Women tend to (but don't always) hang out with women of similar ilk, by which I mean race, background and personality. I have noticed sometimes that prettier women flock together but that's not a rule at all. Basically, when a woman offers to hook you up with her friends, it speaks more to her personality than to your looks. Let me explain... I have been single for long periods of my life. I remember hanging in rooms where my college buddy's girlfriend was talking about hooking up sometimes one, two, three other single guys present. Meanwhile, I'm sitting right there saying in my head, "What about me? I'm single." Later on, I met some of that girl's friends and found their looks varied from average to attractive. More recently, my buddy's wife has tried to hook me up with EVERY single girl she has ever known. And some of these girls were HOT. Every bit as hot as the previous woman's friends...better actually. But they are nice girls. And it speaks to her personality and why they are friends. A lot of those nicer girls ended up rejecting me, but that's not the point. See, your co-worker probably doesn't think you are attractive or you're not her type (racially). And she believes her friends will feel the same. But when you do meet a more nicer, more open-minded woman, she won't look at it that way. Woman 1: "He's too short. He's not really so cute. None of the girls will like him." Woman 2: "He's such a nice guy. One of the girls will probably go for him." It's a big difference. Shallow women tend to hang together and nice women tend to hang together. Capiche? Edited November 8, 2011 by jobaba
xpaperxcutx Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 So you don't have the inclination or time to meet women outside, but you're willing to ask a friend to set you up with her friends? Not only is that incredibly lazy, but you're also placing your friend in a difficult position. Like myself, I have a good number of female friends who are single and looking, but I would never have the audacity to play matchmaker because one, even though we hang out together, we have completely different tastes in men. Two, as easy as it is for two friends to date each other, it is also incredibly common for those two friends to fall out. And I definitely would not want to be the middleman to patch things up.
Queen Zenobia Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Wow, it looks like everyone thinks you're being lazy and selfish. I take a much different approach to this. If a male friend of mine asked me to set him up with a friend of mine and I truly didn't want to take a chance that things could get awkward, I would say as much, or at least I would encourage you in other ways to out there and dating (maybe be a wing girl if need be). Because that's really what friends do for each other. But be silent? That's a sure fire way to end a friendship and certainly crush the self esteem of the person who asked to be set up. So, in short, I think you need new friends.
Shaun-Dro Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Big topic and a VERY good question. Women tend to (but don't always) hang out with women of similar ilk, by which I mean race, background and personality. I have noticed sometimes that prettier women flock together but that's not a rule at all. Basically, when a woman offers to hook you up with her friends, it speaks more to her personality than to your looks. Let me explain... I have been single for long periods of my life. I remember hanging in rooms where my college buddy's girlfriend was talking about hooking up sometimes one, two, three other single guys present. Meanwhile, I'm sitting right there saying in my head, "What about me? I'm single." Later on, I met some of that girl's friends and found their looks varied from average to attractive. More recently, my buddy's wife has tried to hook me up with EVERY single girl she has ever known. And some of these girls were HOT. Every bit as hot as the previous woman's friends...better actually. But they are nice girls. And it speaks to her personality and why they are friends. A lot of those nicer girls ended up rejecting me, but that's not the point. See, your co-worker probably doesn't think you are attractive or you're not her type (racially). And she believes her friends will feel the same. But when you do meet a more nicer, more open-minded woman, she won't look at it that way. Woman 1: "He's too short. He's not really so cute. None of the girls will like him." Woman 2: "He's such a nice guy. One of the girls will probably go for him." It's a big difference. Shallow women tend to hang together and nice women tend to hang together. Capiche? This post definitely makes the most sense to me. OP, all of these friends that you talk to but aren't helping or giving advice don't really care about you, nor do they think you're dateable to the people they frequent. I'm not quite sure if it has anything to do with your profession of Funeral Director, but it's possible. Some people (women in particular) aren't very comfortable dealing with a man in that kind of business, unless she was in to that stuff herself. And frankly, you guys do a great service to us with the best potential of an easy 6-figure salary, so to hell with the women in your circle who don't appreciate that. You need to just go about your business, drop these so-called friends that you're occupying your time with, and keep at the bar, talk about what you do and just get laid, bro. Don't worry about developing any kind of kinship with these headaches out here. Trust me, they'll leave your ass with the biggest migraine yet.
Recommended Posts