futuregopher Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 I'm going to send this text "Hey it's me xx. Thanks for your birthday wishes. I hope everything at work is going good. We should catch up. Good night. Sweet dreams xxx". She hasn't had a fb post in over a month when she used to have a couple per day. I'm watching the Monday Night Football game right now and will send that message during halftime. Curious to see how this will turn out....:x
eleanorhurting Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 and you are throwing away 5 weeks of nc because? Did i miss something?
Author futuregopher Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 and you are throwing away 5 weeks of nc because? Did i miss something? My roommate in college recently got back together with his ex after being friends after I think ~2 weeks of NC. Here is the thread - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t305587/ I guess I might be filled with false hope but I don't know...
eleanorhurting Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Have you thought about what will happen if it does not work out? are you ready to get set back in your healing process? It will hurt like a mother.
Author futuregopher Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 I'm not really sure what will happen if it doesn't work out. What I do know is that I am better off with her in my life than without. The past three months have been nothing but huge ups and downs. I wanted a second chance when she first broke up with me in august but tried to move on. There was no wrongdoing on either side so I'm just trying to be friends and go on from there. :/
Rorschach64 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 (edited) Gopher, Let me ask you, do you think she actually cares about you? She knows you are single and yet hasn't made any attempt to stop you from moving on via bread crumbs or actually saying hold up I just need time apart to get my head straight? She is probably totally fine with the outcome hence the silence, I doubt, very severely doubt, you want to be friend zoned if you want another chance at the relationship so why would you even settle for second best? If you want to take the risk, go for it but you will most likely be gutted and left for dead just to start NC from day 0. Now let me also ask how does her being your friend benefit you? Believe me brother, I know the urge to reach out and urinate all over 5 months of NC just to reach out to my ex-fiancee and try to reason with her for the 3rd or 4th time why we should get back together even though I know extremely deep down in my heart and mind that she will just crap all over me because she is horrible person. Edited November 8, 2011 by Rorschach64
Space Ritual Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 I agree here with Rohrsach. No contact is meant for you to be able to heal. If you sent that text you are back to square one. PLUS doing this now when she has been NC with you will make you look terribly weak and it will only give possible reinforcement as to why she broke up with you in the first place. Please don't sacrifice your dignity for someone who only considers you an option, if that. You will regret this....
Space Ritual Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 and after reading your other thread I am doubly disturbed you would base this on your buddy getting back together with someone you have never met. You come off as desperate.....women don't like desperate. I sure hope you did not send that text....
Rorschach64 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Let's even strip away healing, looking weak, and other that other fancy stuff. The main point I am getting at is she has not contacted you at all and you are SINGLE. You can find some other girl and she knows that you can move on without her yet it does not seem like she cares at all about that. THEN consider that she has no damn concern about your well being to even check in with you to see if you are okay or what you are doing with your life! When the dumper comes back in to contact with you then we are talking a whole 'nother set of stuff but as of now that isn't happening now is it? I am sorry if I sound rather aggressive but threads like this bother me because it will most likely cause others to doubt the NC route when statistically on here it seems like you are highly likely to just get hurt.
eleanorhurting Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 i agree with what everyone else here says. i dont think it is worth it but maybe this is something you have to find out on your own
Bobby289 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 I hope he realized I was being sarcastic with my post lol oops
Rorschach64 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Well either way bobby some people need to learn the hard way I hope everything turned out well for him.
headsashed Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Theres always an happy ending to every BU,whether that be a reconcilliation or moving onto bigger and better things,either way i hope he gets what he wants.
DownNotOut Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 That's a great outlook headashed, as tough as it is to seem sometimes when you're in the middle of heartbreak. If you think it's bad - remember the last time you broke up with someone and then met you now ex. Also - agree with you Rorschach - if you're ex isn't contacting you after NC or wondering how you are doing or you think she even cares about you - you really need to stick to NC. I think if they start saying things like I think I made a mistake, etc. and you think it's sincere - then you need to trust how you feel about it and whether you are open to reconciling and then make your own decision to either break NC or not.
headsashed Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 When my current ex broke up with me she said something like "remember the girl that cheated on you after 14 month and it broke your heart,well you got over her so you can get over me" I just cant remember how i got over her but i obviousley did,i was younger then though and didnt have a care in the world,now im all grown up and know what real love is it just hurts more,im slowly recovering and i will get over this in the end. Its just a stepping stone in the middle of the river and once im accross ill have my happy ending,even if that is a reconcilliation with my ex,that i highly doubt anyway cos i actually dont think i want to cos she's horrible lol...Either way,happiness is at either end.
flitzanu Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 agreed. why after 5 months are you believing she's going to be all jumping in your lap again when she's never said a word? you think you'll be better with her in your life than not at all, but you won't. TRUST me. makes it that much worse.
josem Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 futuregopher You know what I think it will work because your ex show some indications that what you back.
Author futuregopher Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 Hi everyone, I really do appreciate all the support and advice. So I DID send the text last night at about 10PM CST. She hasn't responded; I have a feeling she never will and I'm okay with that. Prior to our breakup, she had been going through some hard weeks at work where she would work 60 hours/week. Her parents are going through a divorce. Her dad had found someone else shortly after filing for divorce and this was in fall of 2009 when we first started dating. Her mom teaches piano on the side but she's still under a lot of financial stress. They both contribute to the mortgage which is a ~600k house that's underwater. They've been trying to sell it at a loss and that's not even working so they've been losing the money on interest from mortgage payments. A part of me just wants to let her know I'm there for her...but that's only because of the reconciliation chances which are slim. Another part of me keeps on thinking that she is the best I'll do which I hope is my mind playing games on me. I hope the latter is 100% false. "Get up and go on with your life. It’s all right. Sit around, be depressed for a minute, cry about it; do whatever you have to but don’t stay there for too long. Get up and go on with your life. This is what I learned in all these years on this earth – if somebody wants to walk out of your life, LET THEM GO. Especially if you know you’ve done everything you can do. You didn’t sit around and [were] the best man or the best woman you can be and they still want to go, LET THEM GO. Whatever they’re running after, they’ll see what they’re headed for in a minute but by then it’s going to be too late." - Madea This helps me keep my mind right. Thanks LS family.
BLuvv Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Sorry it didn't work out the way you had hoped. I know the temptation, guess some of us have to learn the hard way. In some ways maybe it is better she doesn't respond it makes it more clear for you. Problem with my ex is I know he will always respond and all he ever did was give me mixed signals and confuse the hell out of me. You are better off.
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