pricillia Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Found condoms in his Jean Pocket at the beginning of last week. Check the expiration date which is 09 of 2016. I asked him about them and he said that he has no idea how they got there and that he was set up. Guys how can I get him to come clean or will he always deny it.
mike111 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Guys how can I get him to come clean or will he always deny it. Deja vu here.......... I found a new box of condoms in my X's car glove box, with one missing from the box. I asked her where she got them. She said she found them in a parking lot. Yeah right! Like a moron, I stayed with this loser for another 5 years, and she had numerous affairs after that. Anyway, at least she used condoms, and never gave me any illnesses. Be careful here.
Author pricillia Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 I probably won't be on much longer tonight but keep the advice coming. I know that they are brand new. He told me why would I do something like that I want you every night. We have not been together since it happened, I won't.
kaleidoscope Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Lol..."how can I get him to come clean?" Sorry....you had to see that one coming. On a serious note, how about him telling you who could possibly set him up? And why?
Art_Critic Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 He loaned his jacket to his single friend..hahahahha Sorry.. he is guilty.. Did he use them.. who knows.. but he did have all the intention to use them
whichwayisup Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Found condoms in his Jean Pocket at the beginning of last week. Check the expiration date which is 09 of 2016. I asked him about them and he said that he has no idea how they got there and that he was set up. Guys how can I get him to come clean or will he always deny it. Set up? By a guy friend as a joke or set up by another woman? What a lame excuse. Did he have a flushed face and look you in the eye when he said that? Or was he looking away and acting weird.. Sorry P, that really must hurt. He's a fool.
mike111 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 I probably won't be on much longer tonight but keep the advice coming. I know that they are brand new. He told me why would I do something like that I want you every night. We have not been together since it happened, I won't. Good for you. Be strong, be tough. And talk with you later mike
Art_Critic Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Sorry P, that really must hurt. He's a fool. pricillia.. WWIU is right.. sorry he has hurt you and he is a fool... To answer your question.. making him understand that you caught him is the only way he might come clean.. I'd bet he would rather not come clean and let the ball be in your court to decide what is up.. If you think he is not being honest then show him the door.. his honesty won't improve with time
whichwayisup Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Not sure if you can 'make him come clean' but you damn well can make him take an STD test and continue to not have sex with him.. And, make it perfectly clear to him that if he has anything he needs to tell you, to come clean now. Side note .. You can quietly hire a PI if he doesn't tell you the truth.
frozensprouts Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Not sure if you can 'make him come clean' but you damn well can make him take an STD test and continue to not have sex with him.. And, make it perfectly clear to him that if he has anything he needs to tell you, to come clean now. Side note .. You can quietly hire a PI if he doesn't tell you the truth. you should get an STD test as well. even if he did uise condoms, there are some nasty stds out there that condoms don't protect against. If I were in your shoes, I would assume that he is cheating...do you, and if so, what do you plan to do about it? Getting him to admit that the condoms are his may be the least of your concerns. sorry you have found yourslef in this position... it's a cruddy place to be:(
confusedan Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 hi there, I was in your shoes three months ago, found a condom wrapper in H's pocket, and he told me it was joke from work,a nd funny thing is, i believed it for a a couple weeks. Then I started posted on another board, and everyone said he is lying, I talked to my sister about it and did some digging, found another box of condoms, still denied, I was lied to, gaslighted, even up to the bitter end when I was calling OW's phone to find out who she was. It was horrible. My advice. SNOOP, and dont bring every bit of evidence to him. I was stupid in that I came to H with every bit of evidence. You need hard evidence, like emails, texts, chats, phone logs, you would think condom wrappers/condoms would be damning enough? Not to a cheater. I found the condom wrapper august 3rd, WH was still talking to OW for three more weeks after that that I can verify, it was spotty, but it was very ugly to see all the things I did. SO please to not believe his STORY, he is cheating, go undercover, investigate, and then make a decision on your next move. And yes get tested for STD's. H swore they always used condoms, but my investigation revealed photos of them having unprotected sex and the reason they started using condoms is because OW wanted to have H's baby and that scared H that she may trap him, oh the crazy things I have heard the past few months. Sorry you are here, btw.
Author pricillia Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 Thanks everyone for your replys. Is it at all that men won't cheat ever or is it just human nature. I can't believe how much it hurts.
Author pricillia Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 you should get an STD test as well. even if he did uise condoms, there are some nasty stds out there that condoms don't protect against. If I were in your shoes, I would assume that he is cheating...do you, and if so, what do you plan to do about it? Getting him to admit that the condoms are his may be the least of your concerns. sorry you have found yourslef in this position... it's a cruddy place to be:( I understand, I want him to be a grown up and tell me the truth, I know that will probably not happen here. Why do men need more than one anyway it really is a choice. I believe that he will not change and I expect too much from him, meaning be faithful and if you want another then let me know so I know what the relationship really is don't pretend it is what it isn't just because you think that is what I want to hear.
findingnemo Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 I understand, I want him to be a grown up and tell me the truth, I know that will probably not happen here. Why do men need more than one anyway it really is a choice. I believe that he will not change and I expect too much from him, meaning be faithful and if you want another then let me know so I know what the relationship really is don't pretend it is what it isn't just because you think that is what I want to hear. He is not pretending. He is doing what he wants to do. Have you and get some on the side. And it's not a "men" thing. It's a cheaters thing. If you still want him, force him to go have an STD test for all types and refuse to sleep with him for the next 3 months. He must get another test then too to confirm that he is not infectious. He will argue but give him an ultimatum. The test will give you reassurance and will also make him think twice. The no sex rule will be a clear consequence of a violation. With regards to snooping if you want to, follow the advice given. Start with the event preceding the condom discovery. That'll give you an idea of who he was with. Spend the next 3 months finding out all you can and trust your intuition. Act normal and sweet and fight the temptation to confront him with every bit of evidence. You'll just give him the opportunity to lie to you and to erase everything. Turn your hurt into fury. If he loves you, he'll be too scared to sleep around again and will be forced to think deeply. Hang in there. You'll figure it out.
dreamingoftigers Posted November 10, 2011 Posted November 10, 2011 Yes he is a liar. I am the only human being that had condoms in my jeans for a legitimate reason. Therefore statistically everyone else on the planet here on out is caught red-handed. And they are dumb. Here's my true to life story: My husband and I cleaned out our garage from the things we moved to our new place and as we were sorting and unpacking boxes I found some of our condoms from our old place and put them in my jeans pocket. My husband found them later and freaked. They were totally ours and we hadn't used any for awhile. I asked him if he felt in his gut at all that I was cheating and he said "no." I told him I would take a polygraph to chill his nerves (even though he has been a serial cheater, pfffttt). I meant it. There..... the ultimate proof your bf is a liar is the fact that a story like this could only happen to one in seven billion people. And that person was me. Sorry about your luck. The fact that they cheat has nothing to do with their gender and everything to do with the fact that something is desperately lacking inside them and they try to fill it in so many ways, including relationships. When that doesn't work they try using sex and other people, figuring that their happiness must be "out there somewhere." But they don't want to lose you at the same time. Dumb. But common.
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