fool4love Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 Anyone ever been in a gray area with his/her ex? That's where I'm at. To give you background, he broke up w/ me about 3 months ago. At the time we were having a long distance romance that turned into an emotional rollercoaster b/c of jealousy (on my part) and insecurities (due to the distance) which made me fight with him all the time. So he dumped me, an said he needed space. Now, I'm moving to where he lives (for a graduate program, not him...) and he's happy about this and we're in contact again. We've discussed our issues, and both of us wonder if things could have been different had we not been so far apart. Now that I'm moving so close, he wants to keep in touch, just to see where things lead. I don't want to get hurt again, so I'm not jumping into anything, but I still love him which makes me more confused than ever. That leaves us in the gray area. So, do we just wait and see? Should I continue to move on b/c that is the more healthy option? I have to admit, at this point it would kill me to find out he's w/ someone else or dating. I don't want that to happen before we get a chance to start things over and see if it works. I'm feeling those jealous feelings all over again...and that is NOT healthy!
2ndConfusedfemale Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 It seems to me that you are already getting insecure about the possibility of him dating someone else. I think that you should take a step back and figure out where is this insecurity coming from (just because you'll be closer doesn't mean that it'll go away completely). I think that you should protect your heart. Don't get involved in situations that will make you crazy. And if he hasn't done anything to make you not trust him, you need to look at yourself and stop being the cause of your own relationship destruction.
Author fool4love Posted May 22, 2004 Author Posted May 22, 2004 confused... You're are amazingly insightful. I'm trying to look within myself, and the past 3 months I've been doing a lot of soul searching. I'm actually a good person, nice and outgoing. I have a lot of friends, and I'm (sometimes) confidant, so I don't know why I'm so insecure...especially when it comes to him! He is my first love, first everything, so I can't compare this situation to any other. I don't know if it's me, or if there's something about him I can't trust. He's very sweet, funny, handsome, and a med student...so I think...why wouldn't every woman want him...so why would he want me. I know I have some self-esteem issues to work out, but he also has a ton of girlfriends, and he's so damn approachable and easy to get along with, and I'm jealous all the time when I can't be with him b/c I think he's going to find someone else...who he like's better....I think I need serious help. For some reason I just don't feel loved enough when I'm with him...is this a problem? I have plenty more going for me, and I know I don't need him, so to prevent more craziness, do I just walK????
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