headsashed Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 (edited) Its been 8 weeks since the girl i loved broke my heart so ill try start from the beginning. The 1st few days didnt really touch me cos i honestly thought we would get back together,but then reality set in,,it was over and the pain hit me like a rocket. Now i suffer from anxiety/depression which i have for many years but it was laid dorment this past 2 years,so it all came back and on top of the break up,it was destroying me so much. I cut my own wrists 3 times because i couldnt cope with losing this girl i loved so much plus everything else that was happening in my life (losing my job,uncle died etc). The 1st 4 weeks or so was a killer,i struggled so much,never really left the house and never wanted to do anything,then i found out my ex had apparently slept with someone,that just tipped me over the edge but i thought to myself NO MORE,around the 5th week i went total NC and this was helping me in many ways,yes she was still txting but i totally ignored. Around the 6th week i decided it was time i got off my backside and move on so i started house hunting,i got knocked back a few times but i eventually found somewhere,this gave me some excitement and something to think about, i was still in NC and actually started to feel a whole lot better,the temptation of contacting her grew less and less. The 7th week i did start to hear from her a little bit because 1 of her family members was ill and basically on deaths door,i had to repsond as i was also close to this person but i kept my feelings for my ex in check and kept the conversation to just this relative, that to me showed how far i had gone,i was eventually controlling my own emotions. Im now in the 8th week and theres little temptation in contacting her,i do still love her loads and i do miss her,that i wont deny but i feel strong enough inside now to move on with my life without her. Next week i move in to my new house which is a fresh start for me,today i aslo had my phone number changed so i cannot even hear from her at all now,and thats not bothered me at all. So in 8 weeks ive gone from being suicidal to having total control over my emotions,i think thats very good progress and shows that there is hope in every BU situation,we just have to hang in there and stay strong,vent on here if u have to,like i have,even though i sometimes didnt listen to people. In the end i listened to these people,you know who you are and this helped me loads to get where i am today. I know ive still along way to go to fully heal but ive proven to myself and others on here that theres hope and you will feel better soon enough. Rant over lol. Btw i always listen to this song,it helped me Edited November 7, 2011 by headsashed
geegirl Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 It's a good sign when the hurt of being away from her is much more tolerable than the hurt of being in contact with her. And that in turn is you progressing through your healing, realizing the reality of her and wanting good for yourself. Good job H. Yes, I remember your pain and confusion in the beginning. You sound strong and determined. Keep it up!
Author headsashed Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Im doing my best i know im strong enough now to kick on with my life. I also know im still going to have bad days too but im sure im over the worst now,thank god for that lol.
ChelseaLS Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 It's a good sign when the hurt of being away from her is much more tolerable than the hurt of being in contact with her. And that in turn is you progressing through your healing, realizing the reality of her and wanting good for yourself. Good job H. Yes, I remember your pain and confusion in the beginning. You sound strong and determined. Keep it up! Good stuff! And I am extremely happy to hear you aren't suicidal over her anymore. I understand the feeling, but I don't believe anyone has the right to make us feel suicidal or commit suicide. I get it though, it hurts. I have said many times stupid things pertaining to suicide in my first real break up years ago. Keep strong and carry on!
Author headsashed Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Good stuff! And I am extremely happy to hear you aren't suicidal over her anymore. I understand the feeling, but I don't believe anyone has the right to make us feel suicidal or commit suicide. I get it though, it hurts. I have said many times stupid things pertaining to suicide in my first real break up years ago. Keep strong and carry on! I never even have suicidal thoughts anymore,i actually got professional help over it,i doubt ill even have them again to be honest. No-one is worth losing our life over,thats a fact but it was a combination of things that made me suicidal,i tried it,caught by the ex once,that was bad,the only bad thing is now is that ill have scars on my wrists for the rest of my life,that i will have to live with but im a stronger person now. I had stop doing it because i kept on breaking my razors to use the blades which resulted in me looking like santa claus haha. Joking aside,i regret doing silly things like that and never again will i attempt such a thing.
joseph17 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 I am happy to hear that you are doing better and getting your life back together. Moving to a new house will help you get over even more cause you won't have the memories staring at you every day. Just keep working on yourself and be happy. The law of attraction works in mysterious ways when you can give off positive energy. Going through a break up sucks but in the end it only makes you a stronger person. Keep up the good work!!
Author headsashed Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Thanx everyone,im having 1 of my weaker moments right now,no idea why lol but im still not going to contact her or anything,think its time to start packing a few things ready for my move,suppose it will take my mind of things for a while. I think its knowing she cant contact me anymore thats just made me feel abit crappy tonight but im sure it will soon pass
immitable Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 I like your post and i like the song (never heard before) It is great news that you got your optimism back. Keep healing bro.
Bobby289 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Keep on keepin on man. Usually when you have a strong positive moment a low is soon behind(for me atleast). Just stick with it, good job!
Author headsashed Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 thanx again,my weak moment has nearly passed now,ive just watched a dvd called columbiana,about an assassin,it was really good,its the 2nd dvd ive watched in 2 days and i fully concentrated on them both. Ive not been able to concentrate on a movie since the break up really so thats another good sign i think..Whats even better is i start back work in the morning,only part time but its better than nothing. The only bad thing is i used to work for the guy while i was with my ex and it was her that originally introduced me to him so i suppose a few memories will come back but nothing major,he also knows about our break up and likes us both but isnt taking any sides which is a good thing. The only bad thing is,is thats im working outside and its literally freezing and raining so im gonna catch a cold grrr lol
Author headsashed Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 Thats me up for my 1st day back at work,its 7:15am and i dont think ive had 1 hours sleep,i had a really bad night and i dont know why,for weeks ive slept great but last night i just couldnt sleep,i was thinking about her. Maybe its because ive been pretty good for a while and a bad day/night was due. Just hope i can pick up again today and bounce back yet again. Im sure i can.
wilsonx Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Btw i always listen to this song,it helped me This is a good song
Author headsashed Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 glad u like it wilsonx,btw my surname is wilson lol,..Well thats my 1st day at work finished and i can safely say im shattered,was a hard working day but i enjoyed it. In a few hours im going to sign my tennancy agreement to my new house whoohoo,so no turning back now and i can f'ing wait lol.
Author headsashed Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 signed sealed and delivered woohoo,monday 14th i officially move in,cant fooooooooking wait,a funny story now,i got talkin to an old friend on facebook earlier and i said id txt her after i was done signing the agreement,so i did,now,this other girl who has the same name sent me a private msg on facebook asking if id changed my number cos she just tried txting me,anyway,i was double txting these 2 girls and 1 of them asked if i wanted to go out for a drink sometime,i just said ok but once ive moved in etc...I couldnt believe my luck,im not ready for a relationship or anything but theres nothing stopping me going out and enjoying myself right? On the other hand my ex sent me a msg too tonight,she was on her friends facebook and has been reading all my stuff on facebook,she started saying i talk ***** etc and asking who so and so is,wtf? i ignored anyway,im too busy with my music on full whack and packing
LSgirl Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Hi, I've been following your posts for awhile but never really responded as I've been refreshing my own thread over and over lol but you've come along way, I read your posts when you were TRULY down and now reading this, it makes me feel good that I'm not too far behind. Of course, I'm back to Day 2 of NC (broke up over 2 weeks ago) but I know it WILL get better. I wish there was an easier way to skip all the pain but there isn't. Please keep updating your posts and hope you will have these good days from here on out!
M2155 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Keep up the good spirits headsashed!!. Time and optimism can do good things. Never heard this song- or this artist, nice. Good luck with the move.
Author headsashed Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 Thankyou everyone,i sure will keep everyone updated because this site has helped me loads. I do believe ive come along way from how i was 2 months ago but i also know ive still got along way to go before i fully recover and start dating again. I still love and miss my ex more than anything and i still think about her all the time but hey ho,she chose not to be with me so i chose to learn to live my life without her,its been hard but im half way there now and my steps towards recovery seem to be going fast each day. Moving is 1 big step for me but i believe its a posotive 1,it eradicates all those memories i have of my ex whom spent 2 years in this house i live at the moment,plus its a new start right? We have to believe that what brings us down makes us stronger,how true that saying is.
melenkurion Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 I think moving will help you a lot, it'll remove a lot of the triggers. You have a chance to make a brand new set of wonderful memories.
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