oaks Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 When I see her the next time shoudl I hit on her and stuff. Why are you even asking? You don't follow advice, and you know what people are going to say.
Emilia Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Interesting. Tell me Emillia how old are you? Adults don't do that sort of thing you know...they either cool off or use a weapon. Only if they aren't very smart. A punch in a gut doesn't bruise.
Trimmer Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 You should leave her alone. She's just not mature enough to be both direct and polite in saying she does not want anything to do with you. I call BS on this, as being strictly her problem, or a result of her being immature. Let's look at his behavior, by comparison: He's suggested that they should 'hang out' some time. He's suggested that they should have a meal together some time. He's told her that he's shy, and why that is. He's told her that he "likes" her. To all of these "code phrases", she has answered with the code phrases: Let's not go out, let's eat at the dining commons. It's cool that you like me; we are friends. You see we as a society have decieded that women don't ever have to be direct. They get to hint in ways that are ambigious and non-committal. And so if you consider her responses "ambiguous and non-committal", what would you call his "suggestions"? If he asked her "I would like to date you, with the possibility of a romantic relationship..." and she responded as above, then I suppose you could take her to task for not responding directly. But I think she has responded with a matching level of indirectness as his "suggestions" have presented. This is the way it works - it's a social dance that in most cases both sides understand, and which allows both sides to save face. Of couse she knows what he wants, and she's responding to his mild, indirect suggestions in-kind, by mildly, indirectly declining. The difficulty comes, as it always does with this poster, in that he is a unique character who doesn't get it, and in spite of the messages that you and I and 99.9% of "normals" can interpret with clarity, he will still think he should hit on her, should flirt with her if the man she is interested in is not around, will wonder if he can convince her somehow, and will continue to spin it over and over in his head. We don't see our own deficits - he doesn't get that he doesn't understand signals from women that most people understand. So to him, it seems like his primary problem is that they are not being direct enough (and you are enabling him in that belief.) He's got a blind spot, and it gets him into difficulties. And you may wish women were more direct at times, and all other things being equal, that may be true in some cases, but that's not the issue with this situation. She's responding at the same level as he is asking. However if you do hang out with her and her friends try to hit on one of her friends right in front of her. If she gets all well then that's the breaks for her. Your just friends afterall. I think that's fair game, and a more healthy way for him to redirect his attention, instead of continuing to focus on her. have I been loud and clear with her lol. I believe you have been sufficiently direct, and I think she understands what you are interested in. Here is her answer: She said she was cool with that and that we are friends. And that means that's all she will give you. Btw she did mention again she wants to meet up for lunch with me still next week at school. At least she isn't repulsed by me. When I see her the next time shoudl I hit on her and stuff. After she told you that you are friends, if you hit on her, she will probably consider it a betrayal of your previous conversation, and things will go downhill from there. She will withdraw her trust, even as a friend, and she will probably pull away from the friendship. Oh and she's going to the Blues Blackhawks game tommorow night cause she likes the hawks and is going with some friends. I told her earlier this year I'd take her to one and she sounded interested. So if I see her what happens if her guy friend is around? Should I not be as flirty then? You should not be flirty either way, since she told you that you are friends.
oaks Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 You should not be flirty either way, since she told you that you are friends. Trimmer, this is a brilliant post. one goal - read everything that Trimmer wrote. Then read it again. It's good advice.
oaks Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 You should not go period. Stop being so available to this whore. if she calls you, say you busy with this hot chick you hooked up with last night...BE A MAN! One Goal, even RedRussian, our recurrent troll, thinks you shouldn't see her. He's right.
Author one goal Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 My friend at school ran into her last night, and mentioned me to her. She said I'm a nice guy, and all, but she did also state however she's seeing someone now, but said I'm cool. From what he said she thought I sound kinda of despressed, sad sometimes. Anyways I texted her this afternoon about it but she has yet to reply.
LexiB Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 My friend at school ran into her last night, and mentioned me to her. She said I'm a nice guy, and all, but she did also state however she's seeing someone now, but said I'm cool. From what he said she thought I sound kinda of despressed, sad sometimes. Anyways I texted her this afternoon about it but she has yet to reply. My God, I don't even text people who are LEGIT my friends as much as you text this chick you barely know. Lay off, dude.
ShannonMI Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 My friend at school ran into her last night, and mentioned me to her. She said I'm a nice guy, and all, but she did also state however she's seeing someone now, but said I'm cool. From what he said she thought I sound kinda of despressed, sad sometimes. Anyways I texted her this afternoon about it but she has yet to reply. Why do you continue to text this girl? She has a boyfriend. Leave her the f*ck alone. You are hopeless:rolleyes:
ShannonMI Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Why are you even asking? You don't follow advice, and you know what people are going to say. Oh you're JUST catching on to this fact? Oaks, I thought you were smarter then that:confused:
Author one goal Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 Why do you continue to text this girl? She has a boyfriend. Leave her the f*ck alone. You are hopeless:rolleyes: Im just texting her as a friend.
Cracker Jack Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 No, not really. It's clear you're texting her in hopes of getting with her.
Beachgirl8 Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 My friend at school ran into her last night, and mentioned me to her. She said I'm a nice guy, and all, but she did also state however she's seeing someone now, but said I'm cool. From what he said she thought I sound kinda of despressed, sad sometimes. Anyways I texted her this afternoon about it but she has yet to reply. Are you depressed? Sad? Why do you think she said that? For the record I think you should stop texting her. But I'd like you to answer the questions I just asked.
Author one goal Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 Are you depressed? Sad? Why do you think she said that? For the record I think you should stop texting her. But I'd like you to answer the questions I just asked. Well because I do complain a lot about school stressing me out, and not being able to meet many people at the university. It seems that people are not very sociable to new people, and hang in their own little cliques. I've only met two girls I like. the one in my group blew me off, and this one who was very friendly when I met her. School is just boring and isn't what I expected. I also want to live in the south where it's warmer. Like southern Missouri like SW MO or SE MO state. Its conservative, southern in those areas, and warmer and not as liberal. I hate living here because its a big city and people, girls are not as nice. A guy at my work is from far southern MO and he even agrees these big city people are jerks. I have also told her I have not met many girls at school and that I want to move. I think I picked too small of a university.
ShannonMI Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Well because I do complain a lot about school stressing me out, and not being able to meet many people at the university. It seems that people are not very sociable to new people, and hang in their own little cliques. I've only met two girls I like. the one in my group blew me off, and this one who was very friendly when I met her. School is just boring and isn't what I expected. I also want to live in the south where it's warmer. Like southern Missouri like SW MO or SE MO state. Its conservative, southern in those areas, and warmer and not as liberal. I hate living here because its a big city and people, girls are not as nice. A guy at my work is from far southern MO and he even agrees these big city people are jerks. I have also told her I have not met many girls at school and that I want to move. I think I picked too small of a university. I know....not enough girls to victimize:rolleyes:
Lucky_One Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 My friend at school ran into her last night, and mentioned me to her. She said I'm a nice guy, and all, but she did also state however she's seeing someone now, but said I'm cool. From what he said she thought I sound kinda of despressed, sad sometimes. Anyways I texted her this afternoon about it but she has yet to reply. About what? The fact that she thinks you are sad and depressed? Is she a counselor? No. She's not. And you just officially crossed the line of being a creeper. Let me shout this out plainly for you, in hopes that you "hear" it. SHE HAS SAID SHE IS DATING SOMEONE. SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. SHE IS FEELING SORRY FOR YOU. AND NOW SHE IS THINKING THAT YOU ARE A WEIRDO BECAUSE YOU KEEP TEXTING HER ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE FEELS SORRY FOR YOU. Stop. Leave her alone. The problem is not your university. The problem is that you don't understand social boundaries or how to behave around women that you might be interested in. I suggested a dating coach to another poster recently; you ought to think about this, too. You can certainly afford it, and it would probably do you a LOT of good.
oaks Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Oh you're JUST catching on to this fact? Oaks, I thought you were smarter then that:confused: No, I've been telling him this for quite a while!
ShannonMI Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 No, I've been telling him this for quite a while! You see this TreeUK clown? Hahahahahaha he thinks he's you, Oaks. What a douchebag. There's only one Oaks from the UK:D
Mrlonelyone Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Well because I do complain a lot about school stressing me out, and not being able to meet many people at the university. It seems that people are not very sociable to new people, and hang in their own little cliques. I've only met two girls I like. the one in my group blew me off, and this one who was very friendly when I met her. School is just boring and isn't what I expected. I also want to live in the south where it's warmer. Like southern Missouri like SW MO or SE MO state. Its conservative, southern in those areas, and warmer and not as liberal. I hate living here because its a big city and people, girls are not as nice. A guy at my work is from far southern MO and he even agrees these big city people are jerks. I have also told her I have not met many girls at school and that I want to move. I think I picked too small of a university. Are you in the great city of Chicago?
oaks Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 You see this TreeUK clown? Hahahahahaha he thinks he's you, Oaks. What a douchebag. There's only one Oaks from the UK:D RedRussian is my biggest fan! He even made a thread in my honour earlier today, but of course it got deleted along with his previous incarnation. I think he likes you, too. He's just too shy to admit it, and he deals with it by calling you names.
oaks Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Are you in the great city of Chicago? I think he's in St Louis, MO, based on previous posts.
ShannonMI Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 RedRussian is my biggest fan! He even made a thread in my honour earlier today, but of course it got deleted along with his previous incarnation. I think he likes you, too. He's just too shy to admit it, and he deals with it by calling you names. Yes I think you're right. He calls me ugly, core sore having, NY bitch. He totally wants me:D:D I can't say the feelings are mutual though. Oh well. And I saw your thread. About ugly, tea drinking, bad teeth having men from the UK. I don't think that describes you does it? I'd imagine you are rather good looking and charming:p
Author one goal Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 Are you in the great city of Chicago? No, St. Louis! too cold to live up there, and I only live in southern, confederate states. Missouri being one of them.
oaks Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 And I saw your thread. About ugly, tea drinking, bad teeth having men from the UK. I don't think that describes you does it? I'd imagine you are rather good looking and charming:p Aww thanks!
Andy_K Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 As in my previous post I posted about how I asked that girl at school Im friends with out, but she said she'd get back to me and would rather eat at school instead of going out. Listen up. Nearly every date rejection or flakeout reason you will ever get in your life is complete bull****. That's just the way most girls are. They will say almost ANYTHING rather than 'Actually, I don't really want to spend time with you'. They're trying to let you down gently. They believe they're being nice. And subtle. You're supposed to take the hint. When you get a rejection, stop questioning why, or what you can do about it, or whether it still applies later on. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. You weren't given the real reason and probably never will be, so no amount of optimistic logic will turn things around. The only thing you can do is move on.
Mrlonelyone Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 No, St. Louis! too cold to live up there, and I only live in southern, confederate states. Missouri being one of them. Well funny thing that. When folks from Missouri go down south suddenly your not going to be southern enough. Just like somehow black folks from Missouri, to folks from further south often aren't black enough. They don't play much ice hockey down there for instance. Seriously though. Perhaps you should try either a much bigger city. St Louis is really not that big in the grand scheme. Someplace like New Orleans or Washington DC could be better for you.
Recommended Posts