Scarlie Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 We have been together for 5 years I love him dearly then out of the blue he had an affair, this was 3 months ago and now he has moved in with her - that was two weeks ago, he tells me he is confused, he loves her and he loves me, and that our marriage isn't over....how do I get him back??
Lauriebell82 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 He moved in with the woman he cheated on you and is saying that your marriage isn't over? Yikes. I think you deserve better then your husband, don't subject yourself to some stupid love triangle. Tell him goodbye.
justme37 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 He moved in with the woman he cheated on you and is saying that your marriage isn't over? Yikes. I think you deserve better then your husband, don't subject yourself to some stupid love triangle. Tell him goodbye. I agree with Lauriebell 100% You deserve better
freestyle Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 OP, you may get more responses in the infidelity section of Loveshack here. There are some established posters who have successfully reconciled their marriages after infidelity. The ones who come to mind basically used the 180 approach---Each one of these posters moved on with his/her life, and didn't pursue the wayward spouse. (WS) Their spouse had to come back,asking for a second chance, showing genuine remorse, and had to EARN the trust back that they had breached. They did NOT allow their WS to flip-flop, or waffle. They did NOT allow their spouse to return home until a promise of NC (no contact) with the former AP (affair partner) was FIRMLY in place. The WS had to volunteer to be transparent in their actions afterwards,showing a willingness to be accountable. I'd recommend reposting your story in that section of LS here, you'll hear from some of the posters I've mentioned. I'm very sorry for what you're going through---it's an incredibly painful thing to experience.
stillafool Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 We have been together for 5 years I love him dearly then out of the blue he had an affair, this was 3 months ago and now he has moved in with her - that was two weeks ago, he tells me he is confused, he loves her and he loves me, and that our marriage isn't over....how do I get him back?? Scarlie there is only 1 way to clear up his confusion and that is to remove yourself from the triangle. If you continue to beg him to come home he will never miss you. Let his see what it would be without you. Remove yourself and he will miss you. You to go strict No Contact if you want any chance of winning him back. Why you would want him after he dumped you for her, I don't know, but for sure begging and chasing him will not bring him back to you.
kalilavey Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 why would you even want him back? divorce him and take half his stuff, he deserves it... just think of all the possible diseases and other women he may have possibly slept with... (gross) ... he took all of the love you gave him and stomped it right into the ground and kept walking. Usually with affairs its the thrill of doing something secretive and "dirty" that compells someone to keep doing it so tell everyone you both know that hes a digusting dog and then move on with your life, dont let that scum bag drag you down with him
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