ccnaboy2000 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 (edited) For anyone who has been following my threads heres an update. After 1 month of NC after she got involved with just a friend, she texted saying she thought me me and wanted to see how I was doing. I let it slide. Now its been another week and I got a picture message. It was a picture of the ring I bought her for our 1yr anniversary. with a text "look what I found" Being slightly annerbriated but still fully cognizant of what to say and not to say (since I want her back and would feel LC would be best). I respoded. "oh cool. I always loved that ring" her: "are you being sarcastic?" "totally serious" her: "I miss you. I try not to but I can't help it" <i dont respond> her: "Are you still working?" me: "No Im taking my puppy for a walk" her: "You lost your job? How can you afford a puppy? Did you move to another place?" me: "Of course I didnt lose my job, in fact I just got a big raise. I thought you meant right this moment." her: "I meant in general, I still worry about you all the time. Can you send me a picture of your puppy?" Me: <Send picture of my puppy with goodnight as the text> her: "Aww why couldnt you have got him when we were together" <Me no response... I am done.. no more time for BS> I think I handled it okay. Its been about 1.75 mos NC, she's still with just a friend. I'm a little confused as to her intentions but I shut it down very fast. Yeah I was friendly, but back to NC. Let her dwell on what she missed. So hearing that state of mind. I would bound to say just a friend is doomed. I treated her right, she knows it, I know it.. But the best part of all of this, is I've spent so much time building my self and improving that I don't even feel upset.. In fact in so many ways I don't miss her. I think I'm finally healing. May seem fast since it was a 1.5yr relationship and I was about to propose, but with a lot of support from friends and colleagues I guess I realized that life will be okay either way. One things for sure. I don't want to be a plan B. What do you make of her? Did I handle NIC okay? I think its rather BS to her new "hes the one" that she would be telling me she misses me, and sends me pictures of the ring I bought her for our anniversary. At the end of the day, I still don't want friendship. I didn't date for 1.5yrs to end up just friends, I do find it funny as I am moving on she starts contacting me.. Edited November 7, 2011 by ccnaboy2000
wilsonx Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 If you dont want to friendship then stop communicating with her! How long has it been now since your breakup?
Author ccnaboy2000 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 If you dont want to friendship then stop communicating with her! How long has it been now since your breakup? 2 mos post breakup. 1.5mos since she was in new relationship. Of which I've been NC since a little over a week post breakup. Actually I went NC right away but the break was when she came over. I've been hardcore NC pretty much. And I wasnt your average chump. I didn't beg or plead just wished her well in her new relationship and went about my way. Dont get me wrong at this point I would still take her back if she was going to work at it. But friendship is not my goal. I never initiate contact. In fact this was the first time I responded in almost 2 mos.
wilsonx Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Define Average Chump? If you took her back or considered taking her back, thats average chump, especially for someone willing to be a doormatt
Million.to.1 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Crumbs, yes. Indeed. I just read your story from the other thread.. I think you are doing awesome. The txt tennis probably has thrown you off tract a bit. Keep up with the N/C. Don't reply. You are plan B. or c, or d, or e. She is obviously very insecure and can't stand to be alone which is why she had "just a friend" all lined up before breaking it off with you. I think you should focus on continuing to heal like you say you are, focus on work and friends and keep going on dates and have some fun. Take with you the lesson of getting too complacent with your girlfriend and don't let it happen in future relationships. Keeping sparks alive takes effort. But what's done is done. Get on with your life. I have no doubt that you will meet an amazing girl soon enough who won't leave you to hook up with "just a friend" when things get boring. What a flake. You can do much better. Stay strong and move on!!
Million.to.1 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Crumbs, yes. Indeed. I just read your story from the other thread.. I think you are doing awesome. The txt tennis probably has thrown you off tract a bit. Keep up with the N/C. Don't reply. You are plan B. or c, or d, or e. She is obviously very insecure and can't stand to be alone which is why she had "just a friend" all lined up before breaking it off with you. I think you should focus on continuing to heal like you say you are, focus on work and friends and keep going on dates and have some fun. Take with you the lesson of getting too complacent with your girlfriend and don't let it happen in future relationships. Keeping sparks alive takes effort. But what's done is done. Get on with your life. I have no doubt that you will meet an amazing girl soon enough who won't leave you to hook up with "just a friend" when things get boring. What a flake. You can do much better. Stay strong and move on!!
Author ccnaboy2000 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 (edited) Thanks guys. It was interesting breaking NC after so long. I only did so at the advice of my friend who I was hanging out with at the time. Hes a real mans man. Hes about 15 years older than me (like 43). And he was a real ladies man back in the day. It's funny because all the advice from him is the same advice I've gotten on this forum in regards to working towards reconciliation. The only reason he told me to break NC in this situation was to plant a couple seeds, but to remain emotionally distant. Which I felt I did. I ignored all emotional responses from her like the I miss you etc. Though I am still curious as to why she sent me a picture of the anniversary ring, and telling me how much she misses me if she is still with the other guy... I knew if she said those things to another guy and we were still together I would be pissed. Maybe there is still some love there. But yeah I planted a couple seeds and its back to NC. Let her stew on that. Because honestly my life has been improving so much more now, and I'm pretty happy with the way my life has been going. I'm holding my cards close to my chest by not showing my feelings. Edited November 7, 2011 by ccnaboy2000
ChelseaLS Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Thanks guys. It was interesting breaking NC after so long. I only did so at the advice of my friend who I was hanging out with at the time. Hes a real mans man. Hes about 15 years older than me (like 43). And he was a real ladies man back in the day. It's funny because all the advice from him is the same advice I've gotten on this forum in regards to working towards reconciliation. The only reason he told me to break NC in this situation was to plant a couple seeds, but to remain emotionally distant. Which I felt I did. I ignored all emotional responses from her like the I miss you etc. Though I am still curious as to why she sent me a picture of the anniversary ring, and telling me how much she misses me if she is still with the other guy... I knew if she said those things to another guy and we were still together I would be pissed. Maybe there is still some love there. But yeah I planted a couple seeds and its back to NC. Let her stew on that. Because honestly my life has been improving so much more now, and I'm pretty happy with the way my life has been going. It sounds like your kind of in my situation. I don't want to be his friend (I can't be, it just wouldn't work), but I would like to reconciliation (we are on a "break"). From what I know, read and have been told is that you need to keep some sort of contact. Not lots, not lovey dovey at this point, but some sort of contact. He reached out to me last Thursday and I responded, but have been LC since then (cant be NC-work together). Now I am deciding my next step as I feel I should reciprocate something. I am ready and prepared for the hurt if nothing comes of it, but I rather try and know, then not try and not know.... ya know? lol. I think you handled the conversation with the ex well. I try to keep all contact with my ex face to face and at work. I am always very pleasent and smile.. afterall I love this man dearly.
Author ccnaboy2000 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 Looks like the crumbs started up again last night. She sent me a picture message of yoda looking like the hulk (She knows my fav movie is star wars). She sent "This made me think of you" Don't know why the crumbs are coming in hot n heavy now.... I had nothing to say to it really. Wasn't exactly a question.
cavedweller Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Looks like the crumbs started up again last night. She sent me a picture message of yoda looking like the hulk (She knows my fav movie is star wars). She sent "This made me think of you" Don't know why the crumbs are coming in hot n heavy now.... I had nothing to say to it really. Wasn't exactly a question. 2000---she wants to get back together..The 'friend' ain't working out. my 2 cents
wilsonx Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 2000---she wants to get back together..The 'friend' ain't working out. my 2 cents This is absolutely wrong... shes playing games to see if you are still on the string, trust me, she would come back and say "Im sorry I think I made a mistake can we try again" anything less then this is pure game playing and manipulation to see if you are still on the back burner
Recommended Posts