theratandthecat Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 So we had a group skype today, and my ex sounded really casually with me. I think she has just LJBF-ed me because three weeks ago we did promise to stay friends. Now I don't want to be in the friend zone anymore, what should I do?
BCCA Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 This is a common theme around here: people who dont want to be just friends with their ex, but agree to be just friends with their ex. If you dont want to be her friend, stop talking with her if thats all you get. Go out and meet someone else, someone who sees you as more than a friend. Your ex has obviously made a decision on you, so respect that and take it for what it is. Dont talk to her anymore, simple as that.
leoc1973 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 I read something somewhere about using the friendzone to your advantage. You know how you feel being in the friendzone? where you are dying to be with them and they won't budge? Well this awesome article I read talks about turning it around on them. It discusses how they put you in the friend zone to keep tabs on you. It says to treat them like just that a friend! Tell them about people you are dating and make them feel like they have been friendzoned. It says it will drive them mad wondering how you are doing so good just being friends with them. IF they try to kiss you you tell them no. You turn your head. Use it to your advantage. I tried finding the site to link it but I couldn't. Maybe try googling it yourself.
wilsonx Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 This is game playing and playing at peoples' insecurities. You are not going to be any better off playing stupid games like these then you are on your own suffering. I did the 180, went through the second chance and I will tell you the player got played and it hurt. It really did. The best thing people can do is learn to let go. People have to experience this to see that the world is a better place without your ex
betterdeal Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 So we had a group skype today, and my ex sounded really casually with me. I think she has just LJBF-ed me because three weeks ago we did promise to stay friends. Now I don't want to be in the friend zone anymore, what should I do? Be friendly, tell her you miss her and you're finding it hard not being more than a friend with her. Take it from there.
jordjones Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 I don't know if it is hopeless, but I think it was a big mistake to agree to be friends. I am trying to get my ex back as well, and she has brought up "just being friends" before. I shot her down, essentially saying that she knows that is BS - friends until we find another mate? Being less available is a decent tactic. But I also think you have to get her one-on-one. Ask her for a coffee, to an amusement park, a concert, etc. You have to rebuild attraction gradually. It is very difficult, if not impossible, to do this without personal interaction. If attraction doesn't build after a couple of dates, use a more aggressive tactic, like asking her for advise about other women, might. This is the ultimate game playing, but it would put her in a difficult situation. Either A) she agrees to talk about your sex life B) she refuses friendship and ditches you completely or C) she realizes that she would rather have you as more than a friend. Remember that you are a sexual being. Exude confidence and rebuild attraction.
jordjones Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 One last point. I don't know how long it has been since your breakup, but if you didn't go through a period of no contact, the chances of you being put in the friend zone are a lot higher.
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