USMCHokie Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 So what do you all do when another person gets the guy or girl you're interested in...? Move along with your life or fight for him/her? Do you feel a bit of rejection even if you were technically never rejected...? Perhaps it was timing or any number of other reasons? Does it make a difference if it was just out at the bar one night and "lost" them to someone else or had been trying to date over a longer period of time? So the girl from work is now hooking up with another guy in the class. Although I really have choice but to be ok with it, I still get a little upset whenever I have to see her. She has grown considerably more distant over the past couple weeks, so it all kinda makes sense now. Some of my friends had said that I wasn't aggressive enough with her...I honestly don't know.
ChessPieceFace Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Aren't you the same guy that said you have women falling all over you in clubs? Now you can't get the one girl you like? U mad bro?
Author USMCHokie Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Aren't you the same guy that said you have women falling all over you in clubs? Uh...what...?
Nexus One Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Move on. You don't want to be second choice.
mike111 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Some of my friends had said that I wasn't aggressive enough with her...I honestly don't know. What did your friends think you should had done differently? Thrown her over your shoulder and carried her away caveman style?
Lonely Ronin Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 That doesn't mean he likes or wants them. Aren't you the same guy that said you have women falling all over you in clubs? Now you can't get the one girl you like? U mad bro?
Cracker Jack Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 This happened to me before. I honestly felt down about it (seeing her with this guy I knew) for a bit, but eventually it stopped bothering me. It was odd, however, how much it bothered me when there was nothing more than friendship there. I guess I was just more frustrated at myself for not being able to gain her interest like the other guy, who seemed to have come outta nowhere and start dating her. Sorry it didn't work out for you, bro.
Author USMCHokie Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Move on. You don't want to be second choice. I have. It was actually somewhat of a relief that that avenue was now closed...and hell no, I would never be someone's second choice...but of course it still sucks that I wasn't her first choice. But what can you do, right?
Author USMCHokie Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 What did your friends think you should had done differently? Thrown her over your shoulder and carried her away caveman style? Pretty much being more forward about my interest. The thing is, I see her to be a bit of an attention whore, being very flirtatious with any guy who would give her attention, especially when drunk...and I refused to be that guy...I wanted to get her attention the "right" way, by taking her out on a date and spending one on one time with her, not getting drunk and hooking up...as much as she complains about wanting to settle down, she is in no way ready to settle down in a relationship...
dasein Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Oh man, this has happened to me at least 20 times in my life. Worst thing about it is, they always go straight to my most deadbeat friend, mentally unstable alcoholic HS friend? she's in love... distant cousin who cuts lawns for a living at 25 and smokes crack? she's all over him (no offense to grasscutters, I did it too when I was a kid, just not past 20) . When it hasn't been a deadbeat, it has been one of my best friends so they end up LIVING TOGETHER or constantly joined at the hip, so I am reminded near daily of the rejection. LOL. Hasn't happened in several years, but I expect it will when I get out dating again. OTOH, I was always the guy who laid off if a friend expressed an interest, she could be throwing herself at me and if a friend wanted her first, no dice. No more though, if that happens again, I'm machiavelli because none of those deals ever worked out where the friend wanted her first but she wanted me.
Author USMCHokie Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 This happened to me before. I honestly felt down about it (seeing her with this guy I knew) for a bit, but eventually it stopped bothering me. It was odd, however, how much it bothered me when there was nothing more than friendship there. I guess I was just more frustrated at myself for not being able to gain her interest like the other guy, who seemed to have come outta nowhere and start dating her. Sorry it didn't work out for you, bro. Yep, like I always say, life is one big dick measuring contest...deep down, it's probably more a matter of me being bothered that I'm losing to the other guy than me losing the girl...she just happens to be the object of our competition...
Author USMCHokie Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Oh man, this has happened to me at least 20 times in my life. Worst thing about it is, they always go straight to my most deadbeat friend, mentally unstable alcoholic HS friend? she's in love... distant cousin who cuts lawns for a living at 25 and smokes crack? she's all over him (no offense to grasscutters, I did it too when I was a kid, just not past 20) . When it hasn't been a deadbeat, it has been one of my best friends so they end up LIVING TOGETHER or constantly joined at the hip, so I am reminded near daily of the rejection. LOL. Hasn't happened in several years, but I expect it will when I get out dating again. OTOH, I was always the guy who laid off if a friend expressed an interest, she could be throwing herself at me and if a friend wanted her first, no dice. No more though, if that happens again, I'm machiavelli because none of those deals ever worked out where the friend wanted her first but she wanted me. Well, I would say that the other guy is a quality guy, and he's actually one of my friends. I guess it his happened between them, so I can't really hate either if them. And like you, I have never been one to compete for a girl. Never have and never will. If I ever feel like I have to win over a girl, then I can't help but feel that their affection would be an artificial product...I shouldn't have to win over a girl...she should just like me for me...is that foolish to believe in this day and age?
dasein Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 And like you, I have never been one to compete for a girl. Never have and never will. If I ever feel like I have to win over a girl, then I can't help but feel that their affection would be an artificial product...I shouldn't have to win over a girl...she should just like me for me...is that foolish to believe in this day and age? I've decided not to let a noble spirit stand in the way of me getting happiness again, especially if the friend in question is being unrealistic. Paid my dues. A long time ago, I laid back on what may have been the love of my life for a friend, she was in love with me also. He never got anywhere with her, and by the end of the two year ordeal, she ended up becoming promiscuous, maybe even out of frustration with me for not stepping up, and this put me off her. But how do you step up when your best friend whom you grew up with is telling you how much he loves her daily as if rubbing your nose in it, then she is trying to get with you without hurting him also? To this day I think of her (happily married now and living away) at least a couple times a week. The best friend and I grew apart and haven't talked to him in ten years. Probably a TV movie script in that somewhere. LOL. So the point is, be noble, but recognize a once in a lifetime and be realistic. A real friend will be the one stepping out of the way for you.
Star Gazer Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Move on. You don't want to be second choice. I knew you'd say that. And, I agree.
mike111 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 The thing is, I see her to be a bit of an attention whore, being very flirtatious with any guy who would give her attention, especially when drunk... Maybe consider it best she's gone.
Author USMCHokie Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Maybe consider it best she's gone. I tend to believe that everything in life happens for the best...and this is no exception... Still stings a little though, like I'm not good enough?
loversquarrel Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 She doesn't like you. Move on. As far as fighting for her, you've already lost.
Author USMCHokie Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 She doesn't like you. Move on. As far as fighting for her, you've already lost. Oh, I know, the current situation had made all of that blatantly obvious.
somedude81 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Were you pursuing her? Did she know you had any interest in her?
joystickd Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Its all a part of the dating game. I had that happen to me and I have been the one that got the woman. The main thing is don't let it bother you. I know to some I am scum because of what I brought up about my experiences. I will say the rejections are a learning experience so essentially you have won because you have gained knowledge that can improve your chances with someone else
Emilia Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Some of my friends had said that I wasn't aggressive enough with her...I honestly don't know. Reading your threads I'd say this makes sense.
LexiB Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 (edited) Well, I would say that the other guy is a quality guy, and he's actually one of my friends. I guess it his happened between them, so I can't really hate either if them. And like you, I have never been one to compete for a girl. Never have and never will. If I ever feel like I have to win over a girl, then I can't help but feel that their affection would be an artificial product...I shouldn't have to win over a girl...she should just like me for me...is that foolish to believe in this day and age? Wait...how did this come about? Your "friend" knew you were interested and had already asked her out/were working on rescheduling a date and he still went after her? Where's the quality in that? Did he give you a heads up first, or ask if it was cool with you...? Anything? Edited November 7, 2011 by LexiB
Author USMCHokie Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Wait...how did this come about? Your "friend" knew you were interested and had already asked her out/were working on rescheduling a date and he still went after her? Where's the quality in that? Did he give you a heads up first, or ask if it was cool with you...? Anything? He didn't know. Only a few people knew that I wanted to date her, as I didn't want the whole class to find out...
Author USMCHokie Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Were you pursuing her? Did she know you had any interest in her? I asked her out. Twice. She asked to reschedule. Twice.
zengirl Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 It doesn't sound like this was going to go anywhere great, based on your circumstances and your description of her, Hokie. I'd just let it go at this point. Sounds like you and she are not on the same relationship-page anyway.
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