thebig-guy Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 (edited) Hi, its been bugging me for weeks, and the more time goes on the more i become frustrated and confused as to how WELL my ex has dealth with breaking up with me... This is coming from an emotionally unstable girl who once needed me for support all the time regarding personal issues. Now that she has broke up with me she has broke NC twice compared to my 40 times! She has always cut phonecalls off short and hasnt given me any breadcrumbs about getting back together. In a way shes been TOO GOOD with this breakup. Why?? I was actually on the road to recovery until saturday morning. I had a crazy night on friday and taken certain narcotics, then woke up only to notice i had been blocked completely by her off all social networks. I was already depressed from the night before so i made the effort to ring her only for her to say: "i dont have anything to say to you". the convo collapsed to silence in 5 minutes and i could barely say bye without crying. Anyway im just wanting your opinion on this because im still in dispair after nearly 2 months. I keep thinking im over her then suddenly i hit rock bottom. Usually after speaking or finding out about what shes doing. I wrote a final letter today explaining my love for her, as i can no longer contact her any other way. Should this be the final straw? (I can show the letter if needed) p.s just so people know i am not emotionally unstable myself. I have a big social life and im only 22. This has just hit me like a train. Edited November 6, 2011 by thebig-guy
ChelseaLS Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 First the road to recovery doesn't come in the form of illegal narcotics and booze. That just sets you back. Secondly, I bet she is hurting. I am doing all the same things as her web it comes to my ex, except I haven't once broken NC and he broke up with me. It's called faking it until you make it. Or in some cases tough love. Mines both. I throw on a smile, get all dressed up and walk around like nothing is wrong... But I am dying inside. Stop being concerned about her dealing with it and focus on you. You'll never get over it of you keep thinking and focusing on her.
MIK1000 Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 Hi, its been bugging me for weeks, and the more time goes on the more i become frustrated and confused as to how WELL my ex has dealth with breaking up with me... This is coming from an emotionally unstable girl who once needed me for support all the time regarding personal issues. Now that she has broke up with me she has broke NC twice compared to my 40 times! She has always cut phonecalls off short and hasnt given me any breadcrumbs about getting back together. In a way shes been TOO GOOD with this breakup. Why?? I was actually on the road to recovery until saturday morning. I had a crazy night on friday and taken certain narcotics, then woke up only to notice i had been blocked completely by her off all social networks. I was already depressed from the night before so i made the effort to ring her only for her to say: "i dont have anything to say to you". the convo collapsed to silence in 5 minutes and i could barely say bye without crying. Anyway im just wanting your opinion on this because im still in dispair after nearly 2 months. I keep thinking im over her then suddenly i hit rock bottom. Usually after speaking or finding out about what shes doing. I wrote a final letter today explaining my love for her, as i can no longer contact her any other way. Should this be the final straw? (I can show the letter if needed) p.s just so people know i am not emotionally unstable myself. I have a big social life and im only 22. This has just hit me like a train. Mine and your situations were very similar, only I've stuck to NC better than you and not reached out to her, I think that's what's made me progress faster. Don't beat yourself up about it though, just start proper NC now. She will probably unblock you once you stop pestering her (mine blocked me for about a week after I sent one nasty mail, then unblocked me). The reason she's probably coped with the break up so well is that she's been away abroad having an amazing time and feels like a totally new, improved person and you prying over her and reaching out to her probably just makes her feel like she could have u if she wanted you and this makes it a lot easier to move on. Don't waste anymore time, don't send the letter, just begin moving on and leave her alone. She will probably start with the breadcrumbs then and at that point you need to play it cool, don't fall for them and act civil.
Author thebig-guy Posted November 6, 2011 Author Posted November 6, 2011 thanks guys. the letter has already been sent though so cant go back on that. Im happy for her to read it though so we havent ended on a bad note. I suppose its the same principal as other things. when something is readily available to you it means much less. but when its gone you want it more. looks like its tough love for me now. i really cant keep contacting her its not doing a single thing for me...
theratandthecat Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 thebigguy, I wanted to send a letter to her as well, but a letter saying no NC. It's been nearly 2 months for me too, and this is just from a summer love. After a few days if she doesn't answer, send a no NC letter to her and update us on her reaction. Good luck!
M2155 Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 Don't send any more communications. As much as it hurts, she made a statment by blocking you and it's probably for the best. You don't know how well or not she is dealing with the breakup, but she was taking the neccessary steps to stop communication because obviously that was affecting her too. Because as you said yourself, after speaking or finding out what she is doing, you can't stop thinking about her again. Follow that lead because it's what you need to do too. Keep a journal of you feelings or write a letter that you edit every day as you go through your healing, I did. It's actually interesting to look back and see how less emotional you will become as you heal. You will get through it!
k100danny Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 This may sound harsh but how do you know how she is feeling? we can pressume and assume that the way people act means they are finding it easier, this may not be the case. everyone handles things differently but if you as you say have contacted her lots of times ect it does start to push people away and they will view you in a different light.
happypanda21 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 She is prolly taking it almost as hard. It is your perception of how she is dealing with it that makes it more difficult. Work out, post here, write in a journal, focus all of this negative energy into something you can be proud of. You must learn how to cope with your feelings before you start down the path of healing. This is a great opportunity to do just that.
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