AmericanDude Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 My girlfriend came out of nowhere and broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We were at a park in eachother's arms then BAM! I did the smart thing and just Ok and walked off. She came running back apologizing and saying it's just temporary. Then she sent a GIANT email about she wants fix us and she wants to date me again. But then I was writing a reply after just having hand surgery and my cast accidentally sent a lame pathetic half-written reply. I probably would not have sent it if my cast didn't hit the enter key. I could tell she was doubting and had her mind on other guys. You can just tell ya know. I went out with her and her friends and she seemed like flirting or close to the best friend of her best guy friend. He's richer than me and more of a jerk ya know. So basically, what the hell do I do? I sent her a text on Friday. She replied on Saturday and said she misses me. But who knows? I feel like a back-up plan now. Should I tell her to **** off? Should I ignore her? I want to not care but I do. My gut feeling is she's been getting in with this guy and he is accepting so she wants out of the relationship to **** him. She's very sexual and I never trusted her. I did act jealous, insecure, and pathetic somewhat in the last month. That was my bad. I forget women HATE that. Please share your thoughts.
sarah1987 Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 I think if need to decide if you love her, and if you do you need to sit down and talk to her about these things you have put on here, tell her your worried about her with other guys etc they say the key to a good relationship is good communication skills
ChelseaLS Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 I would say that she has made up her mind she wants a break (my ex said this to me and we are on a "break"... However there is no one else in the picture). Accept that she wants a break, you can't force her to love you. Go NC to help heal you (and it generally makes the ex wonder). Throw on a happy confident attitude and work on yourself... Go to the gym of whatever makes you happy. Anything could happen, but don't hold out too much hope as it will just hurt all over again if it doesn't work out. IF it does, you both need to work on these trust issues (I have trust issues of my own). Trust is sooo important in a relationship and insecurity is so ugly and unattractive (I also am an insecure person, but I'm working in it!).
EgoJoe Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 What did the half written reply say? How old are you two? Are you ready for a harsh dose of reality?
Author AmericanDude Posted November 6, 2011 Author Posted November 6, 2011 It was stupid: I also need time to think and stuff. I was feeling good from the pain meds from surgery. Trying to type my thoughts was dumb. Sure, give it to me raw? I love reality.
M2155 Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 Well you should really think about what's in your best interest. Do you want a relationship with someone you just told us that you don't trust? With someone who just told you they didn't want to date you until they saw you were willing to walk away? Hmm...
happypanda21 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 One thing I have learned is to trust my gut feeling. Sometimes its a heaviness of the stomach or tremble in my heart. It can be hard to accept at times, but usually the feeling is right. I agree with the others here, what do you really want? Do you love her? Does she love you? Why does she feel like a temporary breakup is the answer to how she is feeling? I feel that many times "to think and reflect" can mean several different things. Is she confused about how she feels about the future of the relationship? Is she doubting herself? Or is your gut feeling right? You wont know until you ask. The answer could hurt but let her know that you would like the truth more than anything, whatever that truth will be. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, but is always hardest when your at a weak moment in life.
Author AmericanDude Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 The huge issue is that she told me she has genital herpes...6 months into our relationship. She was taking medication for it daily but still. I was very angry, lost, and terrified. I know it was extremely embarrassing for her but there really is no excuse for her behavior. Luckily I tested negative but it shook me up for at least 3 months. I was finally getting over it and then she started acting weird and all this "let's take a break" stuff happened. She's had a lot of one night stands with guys of every race. But she was high school valedictorian, honors student, has a good job, friendly, nice to the face. But the sexual side of her is so bizarre. So I've been completely paranoid about what else she could hide from me. She told me she writes things in her journal which are so terrible if I read them I would never talk to her again. How am I supposed to be laid back and cool knowing that. But I must say, when we hang out it's always a blast. Giggling, laughing, acting silly. I probably should have left her a long time ago.
Author AmericanDude Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 I've tested negative 3 times now and haven't had any symptoms. Our sex life has been extinct for a while.
wilsonx Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 You probably want to walk away from this. Protect yourself and your health. One person is not worth sacrificing your health for the rest of your life. Listen to what she tells you.... She's had a lot of one night stands with guys of every race. But she was high school valedictorian, honors student, has a good job, friendly, nice to the face. But the sexual side of her is so bizarre. So I've been completely paranoid about what else she could hide from me. She told me she writes things in her journal which are so terrible if I read them I would never talk to her again. How am I supposed to be laid back and cool knowing that. This behavior is ACTUALLY extremely self destructive. You need to run from this. She needs help and you can't help her and help yourself at the same time. She's absolutely crazy and trust me I know crazy. You can't be captain save a hoe. Stand up for yourself, you know its wrong, it hurts trust me, im 6 months out from a breakup with a crazy ex and it still hurts
Author AmericanDude Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Yeah I think you're right. To be honest, I met her in a bar. When she first approached I didn't talk to her because I thought she seemed crazy and slutty. Listen to your gut instinct I guess.
wilsonx Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 We all fall victim to that, just thank yourself that it was only a shorter relationship and remember to trust your gut and then walk away
Chi townD Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Dude, walk....no, RUN! This girl isn't right in the head. She doesn't know how to commit to a relationship. She engages in dangerous sexual practices and given what you wrote, she probably cheated on you during your relationship. She has a disease that there is no cure for due to her lack of responsibility and puts your health at risk. Time to walk dude.
joseph17 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 The fact alone that she had herpes and didn't tell you should have been enough to run as far as you can. That is ****ED up and luckily you didn't catch it. Leave this one alone and move on. And warn anyone you know that tries to get with her that she has herpes since she doesn't have the responsibility to do it herself
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