robf1971 Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Again, thank you all. She has given me transparency and offered me her cell phone (to never have again in her words). I took it and listened to the VMs (very painful), I read the texts (equally painful). She gave me her email account info and I've gone through it all. She has sworn complete transparency. She gave me the timeline (confirmed by emails, VM and TXTs) The OM is not married but in a relationship with someone else and I'm on the fence about telling her. We are all high-profile in our community. She resigned from her job this morning (this was where the contact with the OM was occurring). He emailed her asking her to call and she copied me on the email telling him she would never be contacting him again and demanding the same from him. I have asked her to leave for the week to give me time to process and she left this morning for her parents house. She is making an effort and I appreciate that, but by NO MEANS am I going to make a R easy. I explained to her yesterday that if she was not prepared to go through YEARS of rehabilitation and trust building, marriage counseling, and individual counseling then there is no reason to even entertain the idea of R. I am still on the fence about everything and my emotions shift minute to minute. She tries to hug me, I refuse, she cries...she tells me she loves me and I don't respond and she cries. I still don't have a good grip on my emotions...I will probably hit the gym again tonight and see if it makes me mad again...but I figure it's a good outlet. I have had ZERO appetite since I found out...I force myself to eat when my head starts hurting...hopefully that changes. Hi, I think you are doing great and should keep us updated. You are an example for some of the BS's on this board.
Space Ritual Posted November 9, 2011 Posted November 9, 2011 Again, thank you all. She has given me transparency and offered me her cell phone (to never have again in her words). I took it and listened to the VMs (very painful), I read the texts (equally painful). She gave me her email account info and I've gone through it all. She has sworn complete transparency. She gave me the timeline (confirmed by emails, VM and TXTs) The OM is not married but in a relationship with someone else and I'm on the fence about telling her. We are all high-profile in our community. She resigned from her job this morning (this was where the contact with the OM was occurring). He emailed her asking her to call and she copied me on the email telling him she would never be contacting him again and demanding the same from him. I have asked her to leave for the week to give me time to process and she left this morning for her parents house. She is making an effort and I appreciate that, but by NO MEANS am I going to make a R easy. I explained to her yesterday that if she was not prepared to go through YEARS of rehabilitation and trust building, marriage counseling, and individual counseling then there is no reason to even entertain the idea of R. I am still on the fence about everything and my emotions shift minute to minute. She tries to hug me, I refuse, she cries...she tells me she loves me and I don't respond and she cries. I still don't have a good grip on my emotions...I will probably hit the gym again tonight and see if it makes me mad again...but I figure it's a good outlet. I have had ZERO appetite since I found out...I force myself to eat when my head starts hurting...hopefully that changes. You are doing fine at this point with one exception...by not telling the OM's Significant other you also aid in covering up the affair. You do realize you cannot rely on the OM to come clean with his S.O. By not telling this person, you are deciding for a stranger that they may in fact continue to live under a lie. And that you have no right to do, regardless. Frankly no one should give two ****s about being High Profile in your community...this is someones life you are playing with by NOT telling them when you have crucial information they need to be informed of...
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