DannyT27 Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 Hi my gf left me almost two weeks ago, we have been together for 5 years never broke up in that time... I'm 27 and she's 25, she has had hormonal problems with the pill and depression in the last year or so. On the 12 oct she said she needed space and went to stay at her mothers for afew days and she came back and I thought things were good then on the 25 oct I come home from wrk and gym and before I can take my coat off she like I can't do this anymore so I'm like why ? What reason and she couldn't give one so she left and it's now been almost two weeks since she left, I feel sick to my stomach litrally. She has been texting me but mostly abt what were gonna do with the apartment etc... I've never initiate contact she always contacts me first... I gave her some time to herself then I had some flowers delivered to her mums with a nice message... She texted me sayin "thanks for the flowers there lovely" and then yesterday she came round to pick some paperwork up etc.... And I thought she was being rely off with me but she had been at wrk for @ hours but I was looking good.. New clothes nice tan etc and acted like I wasn't bothered. She said u never knw what will happen in the future abd said maybe we can go out for a date after Xmas or summat. I love this girl to death she's my world and we had planned to have kids after Xmas too. I have to go back my mums as I can't afford the apartment I'm gutted... Don't knw what to do feel lost, she also acts like she dnt care but is it all a front... I NEED HELP PLS
Rainingonme Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 (edited) I´m in the middle of a breakup myself... or actually getting over it. My GF of 4 years left me and dumped me suddenly for no apparent reason (You can read the whole story in my posts). All I can say to you that a) You´ve been together for five years. You have been happy. This means that for five years YOU have done something correctly and if you have not changed drastically during this time then there is NOTHING you could have done to prevent the breakup. b) However hard it sounds, it is all about her decision to breakup with you. You cannot make her love you an you cannot make her rethink her decision if she does not want to. Learning from my own breakup, pleading and begging will only drive her further away. It is not what she wants to hear at the moment. It is hard, but maintain your composure in front of her. Keep your self respect as you have done for now. If there is a possibility to get her back, it must come from HER! There is nothing wrong with you, don´t blame yourself for the breakup. Things happen for a reason. Be strong. One more thing. Women can seem extremely cold during a breakup it seems. Almost emotionless. You know her best, but I would say that after five years it is not easy for her either. Despite it being hard for her, she has made the decision. Edited November 6, 2011 by Rainingonme
MrSimple Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 Question of your life now: Do you really, really want her back? No matter what? Calm down and think this through. Then reply when you have found your answer.
Eddie Edirol Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 Youve been with her since she was twenty, she probably wants to play the field. Thats why she couldnt give you a reason. So dont believe anything she says, people tell lots of lies during a breakup, no matter how much you think you can trust them. You usually dont find out the lies till months later. She has the reason she just doesnt want to admit to you what it is, because she wants to keep you wanting her just in case. SO you keep doing what youre doing. Dont pay an attention to her, keep yourself looking good. Do some extra reps at the gym, keep yourself busy. She probably was thinking of breaking it off with you for the past year, which would explain her depression. People usually dont move backwards emotionally when they check out of a relationship, so assume she never wants to come back. Im sure that if youre in shape, theres plenty of women that will flirt with you that are better than your ex-you just have to run into them. Trust me.
Author DannyT27 Posted November 6, 2011 Author Posted November 6, 2011 Cheers guys... I really really want my babygirl back but I honesy don't think it's gonna happen, were still friends on facebook but don't want to giv her the wrong impression if I block her. I also forgot to mention that she came round jus over a week ago to pick some work clothes up etc and said to me that she might of made a mistake.. But nothin like that since... She mentioned last night that she's gettin a new car after Xmas which I suppose isn't a problem now she's got a full wage every month all her mates were my mates and there hardly speaking now but she's speaking and going out with a girl who she always slagged off wen she was with me.. Don't understand. My mate jus phoned me and said to tell her it's over and that I'm not desperate, all I knw is the "grass isn't always green" and I have been a loyal and loving bf... I think it's the biggest mistake of her life.... Oh and eddie I think your spot on dude she wants to play the field as she's a stunner and is always gettin compliments and fb message proposals
Author DannyT27 Posted November 6, 2011 Author Posted November 6, 2011 This is so ****ing hard I'm actually pinning for her... Yea I knw sounds ridiculous, I wish she would text me or summat her facebook status said she went shopping earlier today so she can't be feelin that bad hey.. ?
Author DannyT27 Posted November 6, 2011 Author Posted November 6, 2011 Hi skyline thanks bro, Ive never felt like this before I feel useless and worthless at the moment.. I wish it was a dream. The thing is it's been 2 weeks and I still feel sick as I write this... I loved this girl with every fibre in my body seriously and can't come to terms to why she's done it. I'm kind of ok when around ppl but like now I'm in our apartment writing this and I feel sick and I'm shaking.. I feel horrible I knw it's only been afew weeks and that's nothing but feels like months to me I can't even watch tv as it's jus in the background as I can't stop thinking abt us, if we don't end up getting back together I really don't knw what to do she is absolutely gorgeous and right on my wave length.. I don't think I could ever do better! We both have a terrible habbit... We smoke far to much bud we would get in frm work have one abd be monged out all night... She came over yesterday and took sum with her and I havnt touched it since we split so in one respect I knw she will have one after wrk then she won't be goin anywhere after that lol so no meeting guys during the week! RANT OVER!!
Author DannyT27 Posted November 6, 2011 Author Posted November 6, 2011 Thanks skyline I'm feeling slightly better lol... Well back to work in the morning not looking forward to that if I feel like this. Just read you breakup story and I wish you all the best and hope you both sort things out cheers bro
Author DannyT27 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Ok do you think we haveca chance of getting back together even tbo were getting rid of the apartment ? I have had a massive kick up the ass and realised that maybe I took her for granted... Didn't help enough doin tea,wasin pots etc... I was a lazzy twa*. But since she left I've had to do everthin and definetly realised how much she did. I really want her back, she's acting like she don't care but how can she we was together 5 years... U can't turn feeling off/on. I just hope time helps and eventually we could start dating again to get the chemistry back!
Author DannyT27 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 She is starting to be really cold towards me is this normal I feel really upset
Author DannyT27 Posted November 7, 2011 Author Posted November 7, 2011 Ok so I've just logged on to facebook and the first thing I see is that my ex has her status as "Looking forward to the wknd already... 4 days off gonna make the most of it by doing what I do best Partaaayyyyy" I'm gutted we've not even been split up two weeks yet and the thing is those 4 days she has off she coming to the apartment to pack her stuff... I jus wanna curl Up and die!!!
Author DannyT27 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 I'm trying mate... This is tearing me up inside seriously. How are u feeling dude ? This is the worst time of my life as I write this I'm chillin in our bed and she's not here awful, we are txting as mates and I'm gonna keep that way as I want her bk was gonna go NC but that's more for healing than gettin them back. I'm hoping once the apartments gone then maybe we could start dating again... Her sisters jus abt to giv birth (waters jus broken) and i hope that brings bk all her feelings and gets her broody lol we had planned to have children after Christmas :/
Author DannyT27 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 Ok so reality has just kicked in.. I've now started to pack all my things into boxes so I can move back to my mums this wknd how sad am I goin bk to my mums at 27 lol. My mate aparently spoke to her over fb chat last night and all she said was it's for the best. Still don't have any closure, but I am now gona focus on myself like get my driving test passed.. And also have alook at goin to night college as I can't go any higher up at what I do now. So there the only positives to come out of this mess. She texted me today to say her sister has had the bbt and txted me a photo... I think that will fetch all her maternal instincts back and shell get broody as she has wanted kids for awhile. I'm just sat in a half empty apartment lonely... Great! Also done almost a week without cannabis and I'm feeling great dint feel sluggish etc.... Sorry to bore u all jus gettin sum ***** off my chest lol
Author DannyT27 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 Thanks skyline I'll take alook :-p
Author DannyT27 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Posted November 9, 2011 Just skimmed through afew pages and it looks really good mate, have you put any of these tacticts to use ? And did they wrk ? Gonna have a good read later
Author DannyT27 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 Mate I glad it's wrking for u, as for me I thinks she means business she hasn't contacted me.. She's put happy status on fb and she's calling round the apartment tomorrow while I'm at wrk to pick her stuff up. I think I've lost the love of my life I'm gonna deactivate my fb account tmoz so I can't see her write stuff on there. I can't believe this is happenin she was my life!!!
Author DannyT27 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 She keeps commenting on my mates fb status... Is she doing this to piss me off ? I didn't think she could be this heartless!!!
Author DannyT27 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 I've deleted my fb account now so she can't check up on me...
Author DannyT27 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 She texted me earlier today saying "Just nipped to the apt for some bits thought id let u know x" so I say ok no probs she then texted me 5 mins later saying "U moving out soon? Only asking coz all your stuff is in boxes? X" so I'm like course I'm moving out the notice has been handed in... Stupid question if u ask me. I sent her this "Yea I am The flat was 'our' home doesn't feel right being there with just me. No point hanging on as it's goin in 2 weeks anyway. Are you still calling round tomorrow for more stuff ? X" then later on in the day I have 2 missed calls off her I think she's noticed I'm not on facebook. But to me this is the only way I can heal because seeing her daily status's just makes me feel sick because the always happy and positive Grr
Author DannyT27 Posted November 10, 2011 Author Posted November 10, 2011 Cheers buddy... I really hope it works out for u. But for me I don't thk I stand a chance even if we sorted it out I dnt thk I could trust her, all I can do now is move on you never knw what's around the corner it could be a blessing in disguise. Ill just set my standards higher LOL... Take one day at a time is sound advice dude!!!
raymondebontrager Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 guys better look someone new if seems that he or she is going cold to you...try to look new out their.move on..don't limit your world in your pass.
Author DannyT27 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 All I can do mate... Just woke up and feel really den today as she is coming round in 3 hours to pack the rest of her stuff I'm gutted but glad I won't be here I'll be at wrk. Just still can't believe it's ended like this wish this pain would go away, I seriously get the feelin she's seeing sum1 else. 5 years down the drain in my eyes!!!
Author DannyT27 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 Update.... I found out she banged some guy last night so he is now welcome to her, she's damaged goods to me now I don't want her. She's been such a bitch. All she wants is a full wage and to go out all the time... I'm not arsed as the novelty will wear off in 6 months lol.. **** her!!!!
ChelseaLS Posted November 11, 2011 Posted November 11, 2011 Update.... I found out she banged some guy last night so he is now welcome to her, she's damaged goods to me now I don't want her. She's been such a bitch. All she wants is a full wage and to go out all the time... I'm not arsed as the novelty will wear off in 6 months lol.. **** her!!!! Danny she was in a relationship with you since she was 20... I almost guarantee she wants to see whats out there. I know that sounds harsh, but it's also natural. It also sounds like you were smothering her, and I am not trying to be mean here (I did that with my ex). Even after the break you were sending flowers and pinning after her. She wants space and time. The more your you chase her right now, the further you push her away. She needs to figure this one out on her own. As for her banging some other guy... you're not together, this is not your problem or concern right now. You could be out there doing the very same thing if you wanted too. You need to stop focusing all your time and efforts on her and take time for YOU. Work on you, treat yourself to something enjoyable. Reflect on what broke the relationship, the underlying problems that built up, look at deal with it, move on.
Author DannyT27 Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 Thanks Chelsea I really understand why she wants to do it.. I just think she went abt the wrong way.. If she said she didn't live me anymore I'd of been right ok no worries... But she's been stringing me along for ages.. We'd talked of kids and marriage. I wish her all the best but I knw shell be back... I knw I shudnt of sent the flowers but she did say she loved them and that she might of made a mistake wich jus kept me hoping which is wrong. thanks
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