parts Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 My story really isn't black and white. There's nno one to blame and that's why it's hard to say I want out. We got married a 22, after knowing each other for a short while. In actuality, I didn't want to get married, but my husband was so persuasive and I loved him so I agreed. He is in the military and about a week later, he left for a year. When he came back, it was incredibly hard to adjust, he had changed and so had i and he revealed some thing he had lied about a year before (no infidelity, but another big issue). Immediately, I wanted out, I felt so betrayed and foolish but i didnt want to be a failure and told him he needed to build trust oce again but that I forgave him. He really made an effort and we seemed to be alright. Just alright. I found myself thinking that I had made a mistake, but the thoughts at this time were only fleeting. Deployment two rolled around and when he came back, things have completely changed. We fight all the time about everything and it feels like we make no progress forward, were always starting back up to build a relatioship again after this time apart. Nothing has worked, weve gone to counseling, retreats, spent time together, spen time apart, we both look unhappy but I think we're both afraid to end it. I find these fleeting thoughts becoming constant and I just want to be myself again. I gave up a great career, and continuously give up opportunities to be here for him and support his career with only a simple thanks. He doesnt understand how hard this has been for me and how sad it has made me. My sadness only angers him and frustrates him more and he sees it as me being ungrateful after all he's done for me. I just can't do it anymore. I'm too young to be in this situation and I just don't want to be married any longer. What should I do??
betterdeal Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 You said you had to give up your career; why is that? Did you have to move town or something, or does your husband expect you to be a stay-at-home wife? Maybe say it simply to him: I want a my own life (such as a career) and I am tired of the fighting and bad feelings between us. I want out of this marriage. Neither of us is happy and the more we continue to try and make it work, the more unhappy we become. There is no-one else involved. This is about us. Before you say that to him, discuss it with someone close who you trust. It's important to have back up outside the relationship; from, say, a sister or parent, for instance. You don't have to justify it to them, but letting them know what's going on in your life can help you feel less alone on this. A problem shared is a problem halved they say. I think that's enough to get the ball rolling. Good luck and take care.
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