Even if you're over your ex, do you still get sad knowing they havent changed?

[Desensitized]

Hey LS,

I was wondering, do any of you guys get sad knowing that your ex hasn't changed? For example, in my case, my ex-fiancee tried contacting me roughly 4 weeks ago. I didn't answer, though; don't plan on replying. However, through a mutual friend, he has told me that she hasn't changed at all. This was precisely why I broke up with her because I knew that even though she claimed that she changed her ways when she was with me, I knew she didn't. And she is proving that I was right about her. She is still the same attention-seeking, flirtatious, conniving, promiscuous, and manipulative girl she was prior to when I knew her.

 

I guess it just saddens me to know that she's not doing much to change her ways. But then again, why should I care; why do I care?

[OneFootOut]

Maybe you care because you have some feelings left for what "could have been" or the woman you wish she could have been?

 

I still cared about my ex a while after we split, even though he had lied to me and ran all over me for so long. I still wanted to help him, and still felt protective. I have no explaination why other than it was someone I spent 12 years with. But those feelings weren't in a romantic or even a loving sense, more of a compassion for another human sense. Know what I mean?

 

2 1/2 years later, I feel completely indifferent toward him. We are fine with each other, and can chit chat pleasantly, but I could care less what's going on with him. Not in a cold way, he's just someone I don't know anymore, kind of like a familiar stranger.

[joystickd]

Last woman I had feelings for I feel sorry for her. She became a lesbian and still fails to have a healthy relationship with women. I think she also told a woman I had been trying to talk to lies about me. She seemed interested then all of a sudden nothing. It cool nothing to be bitter about. She will just be a bitter woman. I am doing the best thing by improving myself and not devoting any energy to that situation

[Desensitized]

Maybe you care because you have some feelings left for what "could have been" or the woman you wish she could have been?

Hit the nail on the head there. You are absolutely correct.

I still cared about my ex a while after we split, even though he had lied to me and ran all over me for so long. I still wanted to help him, and still felt protective.

That's how I feel. I was always trying to protect her, but she was always putting herself in "harms" way, if that makes sense.

 

only reason u give a sh*tt is because she whipped ya, and whipped ya good

That made me laugh. But yes, she did "whip" me good

[Desensitized]

I am doing the best thing by improving myself and not devoting any energy to that situation

And that's the best thing you can do. Makes no sense to go back into the past, like I am doing. I've been changing for the better, I just need to be indifferent towards her. I tell myself I am, but I hate knowing that I still want her to be safe.