Sarah_J_uk Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 ok i know this is personal but it really would help me to know: 1) How old were people when they lost their virginity? 2) How old were people when they were finally alowed to share a bed with their partner? My bf and i are still real young - just 16. we've been togther 13 months and everything actually is PERFECT. Theres no pressure to have sex between us but some of my friends started having sex at 13 years. so they are always like 'omg you STILL haven't started having sex?? whats wrong with ur relationship??' I don't mind but i was just wondering when others started sleeping with people. With the second question its just out of interrest cos i asked my mum about it the other day (we're pretty close) and she said that she trusts us etc etc but she just can't put a date on it. whilst his parents say we have to wait til we're 18. Which is ok. PLEASE reply, it would clear some questions in my head! x
Samantha16 Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 You're lucky you have a close relationship with your mother. I don't talk to my mother about anything to do with sex. I was 15 the first time. We waited a month or something like that. The relationship I'm in now, we've been together for 3 years. I sleep at his house...he's 23, so his parents are cool with it, but I wasn't allowed to sleep there until I was 18, (even then it was kind of a battle with my parents. They were threatening to kick me out of the house. But now they except it. I stay there on the weekends). But he doesn't sleep at my house. If he does, he has to stay on the couch. I don't know if this helps, but I think I answered all the questions you asked.
UCFKevin Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 1) I was 18 2) Never happened. When I had my girlfriend, and we'd go back home, we'd have to be in separate beds. I didn't mind. Kinda standard I guess. Pretty surprising that your mom would let you do that, albeit eventually. ANd your friends are being retarded. Don't listen to them. That's lame as all hell.
2ndConfusedfemale Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 well, I was young (13, it was once, and not again until 19)...My mother (I wasn't raised by her so we are more like friends) allowed me to have a guy spend the night at 18 (oh and she lived out of town if that matters). But I never had a guy spend the night "at home" until I was 20, I guess I should mention that I have been out of my father's house since I was 17. I really couldn't imagine having a guy spend the night if I were still living with my father.
Pyrannaste Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 My first time was at 22. My bf was 29 and living on his own, so the sharing-a-bed problem did not exist for me. But I think that when I was 19 my parents would not have minded sleeping over at a bf's house, since they allowed me to go on holiday with three male friends and when I got back home they were positive I had sex with one of them.....
LILUIL Posted May 22, 2004 Posted May 22, 2004 i was 18 going on 19.... shifted out of the house and me and ex had own apartments.... two apartments become one now when i look back, i laugh at myself, nothing great about that at all! seriously.... it's like i used to moan and groan and wish i could get a driving license and now, being a driver for 10 years i hate the traffic, i wish the car would move by itself and i wish petrol will fall from the sky instead of rain..... your parents trust you to make the right decisions for your own life.... so make them proud! the next time your friends boast that they have had sex, clap loudly for them. bravo! so what?! i didnt care what my friends thought and so what if i was the last to loose it. i didnt reach nirvana or get enlightenment out out it. it's a very personal and intimate thing....... as long as you know why you are doing it, and that you really wanna do something.
UCFKevin Posted May 22, 2004 Posted May 22, 2004 Yeah. Say, "Wow! Congrats! You now have the possibility of getting pregnant or getting a disease! I'm SOOO jealous!"
Charley Posted May 22, 2004 Posted May 22, 2004 i was 16. i waited till i was with someone i loved (or thought i did...meh ) but it worked out well. the people who have sex at my school so young are looked down on, mainly cos they either are not in a relationship and are seen as dirty sluts, or because they are only doing it to look cooler. And my mum let me and first 'proper' boyfriend sleep in the same bed as soon as he came to my house (i was 17). She knows im sensible, and not a slut/gonna get pregnant/whatever else parents worry about. anyways you will get a lot more respect from everyone for waiting and not going for the first guy that offers. you already have mine
CurlyIam Posted May 22, 2004 Posted May 22, 2004 I was 19 and more than a half when it happened. I was living on my own, he was living o his own, so this was not a problem. When we were going to my parents we would sleep in separate beds, when we'd go to his parents we would share the same bed. But I did sneak boys in when I was in high school, at about 16. My aunt almost caught me one time ... that cooled me down for a while . But: I decided to wait for the perfect guy and for the perfect moment. I don't regret a thing about wainting, since it made the relationship even more special (we stayed together for more than 4 years).
Bohdi10 Posted May 22, 2004 Posted May 22, 2004 There is no set time limit at how long you should wait or when you should have sex. You should just go on your own feelings and instincts, because when you want to and are ready to do it then it is much better then going on what other people say. Don't let other people pressure you into saying that something is wrong with your relationship. The fact that you have been together with your boyfriend for so long and haven't had sex yet shows that you care about each other and that you are in a mature relationship that isn't all about hooking up, etc. As long as your happy then that is all that matters.
CurlyIam Posted May 22, 2004 Posted May 22, 2004 The sneaking part always happened when mom and dad where out (thought that might be a precious information!)
SoleMate Posted May 22, 2004 Posted May 22, 2004 Waiting until 18 is a GREAT idea. Your parents are giving you much better advice than your friends are doing with their nagging. Another thought: Keep your sex life or lack thereof private, that way you don't have to listen to nosy people nagging you about it. If I were asked, I would just give a mysterious smile and change the subject. Let's start a thread about "How do I know when I am ready to have sex for the first time?"
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