different relationship styles

November 6, 2011

I am interested to hear about the different relationship styles between couples.

I always thought that if a guy found a girl that really was it for him, and he loved her as much as he could love a person... that he would want to make out with them every day, and not be able to keep their hands off of her.

Right now, I am seeing a guy, who says that no matter how much he admires and loves a girl, that he prefersd to keep kisses and hugs to at night, and would rather have a lot of fun being together duringt he day, when we do activities together, such as going to the beach.

The guy is very affectionate towards me at night; in bed, we hugh so tightly all night, and are ubeliebably close. As close as two people can get. Also, he loves hugging while watching TV most of the time, although he does like to chill out and watch it without hugging constantly at times too.

Of course, he does sometimes put his arm around me during the day, and give me the occasional kiss. HOwever, for the most part, he enjoys being best friends with me, and laughing a lot and having lots of fun, WITHOUT having to kiss me incessantly.

WHAT IS NORMAL? My guy likes to be the very best friends with the girls he sees in a relationship.

For example; we are both crazy and like to constantly laugh and kick each others @sses

- At the beach, he will steal my clothes and kide them from me, push me in the water, and we will wrestle and kick each others butts the whole time. He does not just like to walk alone the beach, holding hands. He prefers action and fun and laughing and a challenge.

- He likes playing air hocky and going to those game rooms, and really having a girl who tries to beat him and compete and have fun and laughs

- when eating out, we throw food at each other and will not just rest.. we always have to do something funny and laugh.

- When walking around in general, for instance, in a shopping mall, he will without fail steal my wallet, hat, or other possession, and put it up someplace high or just run away, and have me have to catch him and pry the item out of his hands.

Or make me climb up and retrieve the object in question.

- Most of all, I am quirky. To him, I am a funny person. We just like to laugh a lot, we constantly laugh ( mostly he laughs at me and the way I am, and I laugh back at the funny sh*t we talkl about).

During our time together, he does occasionally give me a kiss; when I leave to go somewhere, he always kisses me good bye and hugs me.

However, for the most part, he says he rpefers to have a great, amazing time together, without always having to kiss me and act like " a couple", in terms of having to always hug, hold my hand, and kiss me every hour.

He likes to dfo out own thing as individuals, and saves affection for special times.

He sais he likes to save making out for sex sessions, and very special times. He does not like to throw things around, he likes to save intimate kisses and sex for the times when we REALLY and DYING for it, and not to just do it all the time.

He really enjoyes having a best friend to have a lot of fun with, and focus on thaty, rather than beingt he " typcial" lovey dovey boyfriend, who always has to hyold his girlfriends hand and be all over her.

He has been all over me on occasions, such as when we have gone out drinking. Just not rvery day - he seams to like to be great friends and have fun.

He said he was like this with the girl he met before me, too; she was AMAZING, and he said they acted like best friends, and saved hugging and excessive affection until night time or when they went out drinking and other special times.

November 6, 2011

I assumed that if a guy was that into me, he would not be able to keep his hands off of me.

That is why it has taken me many months to come to terms with the fact that perhaps all guys are NOT like that; that even if they find an amazing girl for them, that some guys prefer to save affection for special moments, rather than rewadily give it; to be best friends and have fun, rather than always having to touch their girl and emphazise their " relationship" status.

November 6, 2011

Thanks, Tom:)

I actually quiet like how things are with us. I like that element of being independant; being secure enough to not need a guy to be all over me ALL of the time, in order to feel wanted and loved.

Besides, he does kiss and hug me a lot, he just likes to focus on our friendship side and having a fun time together. I had a mate who told me that he feels a guy should "not be able to keep his hands off of me".

My mate said that Andrew and I seemed like good friends, rather than a serious relationship. The thing is, we are serious about one another. We love each other a lot.

November 6, 2011

I think it'd feel weird to me if someone dictated to me when kissing could or couldn't happen by daytime/nighttime, personally, but if it feels right to you, that's what matters.

I don't want a guy who's got roving hands all the time in public or anything though. A man who can respect being in public and also be a good friend, in addition to a lover, is key. So all of that is good. Just. . . not sure what the strict rules.

November 6, 2011

"I always thought that if a guy girl found a girl guy that really was it for him her, and he she loved her him as much as he she could love a person... that he she would want to make out with them him every day, and not be able to keep their her hands off of her him."

I provided this example of 'equality' not as a confrontation but rather as a tool of examination.

I think a healthy couple finds, through communication, their own 'style' of expressing love, desire and passion; one which is mutually satisfying and respectful of both partner's sensibilities and needs. It's a two-way street.

Myself, personally, I like feeling 'connected' and showing that connection in small ways consistently, like through words and non-sexual physical affection, with exclamation points of 'making out' and 'lovemaking'. That's *my* style. If it matches up with a lady's style, or we find a mutually agreeable middle ground, that. If not, that.

Examples might be walking together arm in arm or holding hands in public, or spontaneous hugs and kisses that have no connection to nor result from a specific word or action. I personally can see clear delineation between desire for and expressing love to my partner as a human being versus as a lover. Would she be offended that my or her loving touch did not arouse me sexually? Unknown. We'd work that out. Communication is key.

November 6, 2011

If it works for you then that's fine.. you don't need to worry about what's normal. I personally couldn't be with somebody who said we had to save affection for certain times. Hopefully your bf is willing to compromise if you want or need some physical affection even when he thinks it's "not time" or whatever. My husband and I are both extremely affectionate and like to connect in the ways that carhill described.

Your boyfriend's antics would drive me up the wall, lol. But again, if it works for you then that's great. I do think that being active together is great for a relationship and can help build a strong bond between a couple.

November 14, 2011

Oh - My guy does not dictate when affection is permitted!

He always tells me - if I feel like hugging him, Hug him!

If I want a hug, ASK hi, he says!

He has NO issue with that. He would just hug me back, and like it - he would not feel embarrassed or bad about a hug in public.

What I mean, was: in GENERAL, he enjoys it more, even with an AMAZING girrl, to be best friends with them, and explore the best friends element of the relationship, when he is out and about, for instance, shopping, or with his mates and girlfriend. Or just doing a ctivities together in general.

He DOES, however: When we r in public, put his arm around my shoulder at one point. Normally just once and not continuously, he still does it !

He does give me random hugs; just not the whole time we are out shopping or whatever else it is we r doing.

This bothered me at FIRST; when we first started seeing one another, I remmeber going to the video store with him.

Alone, he was VERY AFFECTIONATE! He hugged me non stop and could not keep his hands off of me.

I was shocked, when at the DVD store, he was not holding my hand, hugging me, or putting his hands all over me.

It upset me a great deal. He did not act embarrassed at all to be with me, he just did not want to be all over me like in private. He stoll stood close to me.

I get it now; the last girl he loved, a hot German girl he travellesd with for months, was AMAZING; now, if he acted the same way he des towards me, with that amazinfg German ( I talk to her, she is honestly a fantastic person in every day).

Basically; he prefers to be best friends with u until special times - even if u r the most amazing girl to him.

He has times, for example, when he feels a sudden surge of love for u, that he WILL hug a lot - or when we r out partying, he will touch me a lot and show me his love.

He LOVES a girl who challenges him and makes him laugh - he likesto be hands on, running around with the girls he likes - being on edge the whole time, always mucking about -

He does not like to just stroll hand in hand - he would rather chase each other around, steal your bag, have fun. He constantly likes fun. Chilling out is for watching TV and a seperate thing for him.

So. That is my relationship style.

Interstingly, I have actually grown to prefer and love his style, and it is now what I would WANT from ANY guy I am seeing.

I really love his notion, of saving affection for the times when u both REALLY feel it - the very special moments.

Furthermore - it makes me yearn for ths hugs and kisses and public displays of love he does give me - not that he lacks caring and love towards me - but he makes me look forward to it, rather than readily give it every moment in public.

Lastly; I have discovered that HE is a guy who prefers the GIRL to bew very caring towards him...

Perhaps it is because he lost his mother last year - they were VERY close, and it was very, very, very devastating for him.

Now, he prefers ME to care for HIM - he likes me to be very affectionate - he really likes me to be very caring, loving, and to show him I love him.

He loves to be looked after and hugged - he likes ME to be the one who tects him more and smothers himn in love.

Of course, he still hugs me a lot and shows me love - he just really likes the way I am -

I wear my heart on my sleeve and do not play games - I am not obsessve in public or aloine, however, I DO love to hug him and kiss him.

On the ither hand, he hates being vulnerable, and perfers to come accross as " cool". lol.......... Where as, with me, he LOVES how I do not care about playing it cool....

I will just go sit on the couch and hug him and really look after him wheever I please .

Interestingly, as a man, he tends to prefer the girl, myself in this c ase, to take on the caring role.

He loves looking after me of course, when need be, however; he likes ME to really show him I love him, through texting and hugging him a lot, rather than him being the usual dominant male type.

he prefers ME to hug HIM from behind at night! He LOVES hugging mwe, however - he likes out " position" - i sleep behind him, and get in really really close, as close as possible, and hug him from behind \

He tells me he loves this, because it makes him feel so loved and cared for. He says he loves my caring nature.

Like I said before, though - he does hug me a lot too! It aint just me. He just PREFERS it when make the extra effort, as he loves to be smothered in attention.

And yes I am now over doing it - I told him I hug him too much and he is the one who says that he does not want me to play it cool and wait until HE is the one to hug ME all the time...

He says I am fun and like a best friend to hang around with, but that he also loves my very caring side too, and he wants me to be the one to hug him more - my kindess turns him on and he loves it, apparently.

So , there ya go. That is o

November 14, 2011