the troubling number of cynical, bitter, sexually inexperienced men on this forum

November 6, 2011

It's the other way around :

http://youtu.be/5rkl_oLSKQc

But you see, it's the man's fault for not wearing a cup all the time and leaving sharp instruments where women and children can get at them. By implying that it's a woman's fault at all for cutting off some guy's penis, you are just blaming women for all your problems and revealing a very entitled attitude. Why shouldn't a woman be able to cut your penis off if she wants? What other choice does she have when you look at porn or bring the wrong thing home from the store? Though she is only 25, she is reacting to 100s of years of female oppression. Why must everything be about you and your self-absorbed attitude? If you weren't so bitter and negative about men getting their dicks cut off, you would have more success in dating.

I hope people watch that video, coincidentally it is evidence of something woggle says all the time about "you go girl" attitudes women share about their cheating and other bad behavior. Whenever woggle posts such, he gets attacked, smeared and lied about among demands to prove that women do this. THE VIDEO ABOVE IS SOME PROOF. The topic of the women's show with Sharon Osborn in the linked vid could have easily have been cheating on men, standing men up on dates, crushing one's husband to death by sitting on him, physical abuse against men by women, or any other bad female behavior that is magically rationalized away in our culture.

Can you imagine a talk show with a male panel where men made sport of ritual female mutilation, the prostitution slave trade or other savage practices against women? Inconceivable.

November 6, 2011

As a graphic designer, it is often my job to collaborate with the downtrodden, the disenfranchised, the unheard. Over the years I have cultivated a number of rhetorical and visual strategies which leverage my skillset in order to benefit the lives of these needy souls.

To that end, I have designed a new logo for what I feel is an underrepresented, misunderstood subcommunity on this forum -- whom the OP refers to as the "cynical, bitter, sexually inexperienced men on this forum," and whom I prefer to refer to as the far more politically-correct "Loveshack.org Involuntary Celibacy Society."

The logo takes the form of a fist, which represents the hidden passions these men are forced to conceal, as well as their need and desire for solidarity in these troubled times. The color palette is representative of their softer, gentle sides, as well as their proud native Loveshack.org, which they call home, day after excruciating day.

I hope this logo will provide this cast-away community with the voice it deserves. Let's all, you who are reading this, band together to support these brave men in their time of most need.

OMFG ... LOL! :X

is the hand ready to masturbate too?

Edited November 6, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall

November 6, 2011

That is another thing that gets to me. There is this refusal to acknowledge that sometimes the men is not always to blame.

Why does it get to you, personally?

Aside from that, consider that when an individual man comes here for advice on how to get a date it isn't unreasonable to suggest things that he could do differently while it would be entirely unreasonable, unhelpful and rather impractical to suggest how to change the entire female population to enable him to get a date. Yes, the man isn't always to blame, but the solution to his problem isn't changing other people.

November 6, 2011

The fist in that logo is too tightly clenched.

November 6, 2011

Nonsense! That fist is supposed to represent solidarity.

:lmao: (of the solitary) :X

November 6, 2011

The fist in that logo is too tightly clenched.

Maybe that's where they're going wrong!

November 6, 2011

Also all the ask out 100 women and keep trying till one says yes, posts people make aren't helpful either. I'm not a robot who can keep going from woman to woman without getting depressed. And I'm not a dog that wants to have sex with everything I see either.

1. The nature of the exercise is not to try to bed half of the countryside, it is to develop an experience of opening a dialogue with women that you have some initial attraction to. There is no obligation to open a dialogue, discover that the girl has rotting cauliflower in place of her brain, and yet date and/or try to sleep with her anyways. Stick to your standards BUT learn how to open a dialogue and prep yourself emotionally to try to close the deal (which at this point would be coffee or something, not scoring or going for a LTR (yet.))

2. The depression comes from the meaning that you attach to each conversation. If the conversation does not go well you may say to yourself "I knew that this wouldn't work, women aren't attracted to me, I'm a loser blah blah blah." Reality is "well that woman was not compatible with me OR I have not quite got the right approach to get a date with that woman OR she is already involved with someone."

I will admit that as I get older, I attach less meaning to rejection overall on all fronts. It does not pummel my self-worth at this point, especially with something as subjective as attraction and dating. Simply put: there are so many variables that very few dialogues would actually result in a date or a relationship. But these odds are LOW FOR EVERYONE, not just you. If I meet someone, there is a 1 in 10 chance on average that there may be some attraction to them. Afterwards, with dating, there is maybe a 1 in 5 to 1 in 10 chance that a first date would mesh with my standards and I with theirs. I may end up with a psycho and that wouldn't be uncovered for a bit. etc etc etc. Even 1/3 to 1/2 of all marriages in my country fail. The odds are tough.

The only way to cut through the time alone is to boost the odds in any way possible that is healthy and works. But conditioning yourself to accept the high chances of rejection because of individual variables WITHOUT using it as a reflection of your attractiveness or self-worth, you put yourself far ahead in the race to find a mate. Like I stated before, you lose nothing by asking.

I have been an obese woman my entire adult life and know other obese women. (Yes, I am now working on this). In my youth my mother impressed upon me that weight in society was surrounded by subjective opinions and that I should not prejudge myself for it and that men would still be attracted to me. Truly, it did greatly affect my initial odds of dating BUT I wasn't aware of it until years later to be perfectly honest.

Even with this so-called dating "handicap" I NEVER had trouble finding a date or a boyfriend because I held the belief that randomly men would be attracted to me and that if I dialogued with enough of them I would find those guys that were. You know what, I did.

Now that I am older, I am aware of the distinct minority of men that would even tolerate the extra weight. Many of my obese and overweight friends are single, often have trouble finding dates. (I think I am the only one that even ever married thus far). I have often been told that I am "lucky." It had NOTHING to do with LUCK. I talked to so many people in my youth (actually I still have trouble shutting up). I developed a wicked sense of humor, empathy, generosity and kindness as well as being sexually adventurous (not slutty, just willing to try new and different things in bed or introduce men to things new to them). Those traits shone through my heavier figure; plenty of my older pictures show me with a big grin with the men I am beside who came in all forms and traits. The longest I was single was a couple of months.

Many of my obese/overweight friends aim low when it comes to men, believe that they are unattractive and deserve no better. That is their real handicap. Well, that and cheese, just like me.

3. I am not advocating that you walk up to every woman between 16-90 and say "wanna go back to myself, aren't I handsome?" Well, unless that's what works for you. (BLahahaha).

Truly in this life, all of us human-folk trip our way to the finish line in just about every venture we take on. Two years ago my husband and I started a cleaning service with no previous business knowledge and I had never truly cleaned a thing in my life (shut-up). But within the first couple of months we came up with a working template, and truly for about the first six months we did work for much less then it was worth and pissed off some people as well. Oh well, we learned and built a very successful little business and at it's peak (last year) it pulled in $10,000 in a month. That was from jobs and work we created by falling on our faces. The business ended up folding when my husband became far too entrenched in his addiction, but at this point if I found a reliable partner who had a similar vision, we could rebuild it VERY quickly because we already made plenty of mistakes that I now know how to avoid.

Dating is no different. Neither is learning French, or shovelling snow, or raising children. There are manuals, opinions, right ways, wrong ways, ways that work, ways that don't. Find 'em all. Go out there and trip your way to your goal. Or don't. Whatever. IMHO though, who you are matters about 10%, what you do and how you approach it is the other 90%.

November 6, 2011

If it's sexual chemistry you want to create, you really do have to focus on the physical in order to create that sort of chemistry. One man can achieve, with a single touch and appreciative (fast) up and down glance what another might not achieve with 4 hours of earnest conversation.

^^^THIS YES THIS^^^^

Breaking the touch barrier with a hug for a person who's supposed to be a "friend" is the #1 way you can know if there is any sexual chemistry there.

If it feels like hugging your sister or brother, no chemistry.

If it makes your skin crawl, not only is their no chemistry their not sincerely a friend.

If it makes them melt, well you have a live one!

@49322

Do you know what the touch thing did?

It worked. The women who did not want you to even pat them on the (upper between the shoulder blades) back showed they weren't really even friends.

Don't even waste time being friends with people who find you physically disgusting and won't even give you a hug.

November 6, 2011

Excellent, some creative feedback. Do you think a different grip technique is needed here?

Grip? I didn't think there was anything in the fist to grip. Maybe it's gripping something little, and I just missed it?

I'll look again.

November 6, 2011

Some bad behaviour from women annoys me. Even small things like girls going out without any cash because they will expect men buying them drinks all night. Women crucify men for not being tall enough or successful enough and they are embarrassed before their friends if they are not dating someone hot because they are so status conscious.

However, none of this is 'cool'. Being a naughty boy, cheating, standing up your date, having sex with your girlfriend's sister is 'cool'. It's ' boys will be boys' territory. No-one slaps a woman's back for being a hellraiser, everyone slaps a guy's.

Troublesome women are not celebrated while men are. So you don't hear much about our bad behaviour because it carries too much stigma

I can honestly say that I do not know any guys that would congratulate me on the behaviors you mentioned. Most would stop talking to me. Even if they did approve, their wife or gf would cut their balls off if they invited me over. I would be a 'bad influence'.

November 6, 2011

That is another thing that gets to me. There is this refusal to acknowledge that sometimes the men is not always to blame. No matter what a woman does somehow a man is to blame or it is celebrated as turning the table and we get a goose for gander justification. It's why in that other thread I was somewhat encouraging him to cheat while his fiance was away. I realize now how wrong that is but I know damn well if the genders were reversed there would have been a tone of you go girl comments.

It's these little things that just wear on me until I am just so mad that I post things that I am admit are hateful.

What is the point of this seemingly never-ending series of verbal abuses followed by contritions? Find a way to step away from doing things you later regret. Maybe write our your posts then consider what mood you are in. If you're steaming, don't post them. If you're not steaming and you feel you can back them up, post them.

Taking umbrage with things is fine. Being spiteful always results in you regretting it later, so don't be spiteful. You have all the time in the world to rephrase your posts before you post them; take advantage of that.

November 6, 2011

Once more, if the above is the case, then surely the pile-on phenomenon, whether it's directed at woggle or torn curtain or eternal sunshine or the angry male virgins is just as bad and reflective of the problems of other posters who simply can't resist a free pass to bloat and bump threads with lots of noise. In other words, anyone who thinks the thread topic is a legitimate problem here (I don't actually, it just gets more press) who "jumps on the pile" at every opportunity, is a hypocrite.

Some of these posters' threads are just too long for me to want to get involved in....but Woggle's threads, from what I've seen, usually feature lots of "you've come so far, wogs" touchy feely stuff.

You don't find that thread just a wee bit fishy? But NM beside the point. If you rush to characterize someone's posts as abusive, be ready to back it up. We can discuss your point further once you have.

I think if somebody is posting about being on the receiving end of abuse (and I prefer to extend the benefit of the doubt in this situation), and another poster refers to them as "ghetto trash"...then yes, I do see that as abusive. Not simply to the person posting, but to anybody who has been abused. To me, there wouldn't be much scope for debate there. I can't see that use of that phrase was acceptable or justifiable.

Sorry, my laptop seems to have cut off some other stuff I wrote. Bit too late in the evening for me to redo it.

Edited November 6, 2011 by Taramere

November 6, 2011

I think the guys who complain on here are full of fear and have entitlement issues. As if they were guaranteed a mate at birth and the universe is going back on its promise. Life is tough. I doubt women find it all that much easier having to be with men. That is at least part of the reason why guys get dumped so much.

I have no problem admitting no one is entitled to a relationship. It can be a tough truth, but it is still a truth. However, when a recent thread was started by a 35 year old woman about how she cannot attract doctors like she could ten years prior, I told her that no one is entitled to such things that she should have taken advantage of the those relationships when they were available to her. I was called ageist, told I hated women, men were blamed for being shallow and only wanting young women without regard to other issues, and some were called pedophiles. I can admit that some men are more desirable than others and you must work to find a relationship. Can women admit not all of them are equally attractive and they are not all entitled to marry doctors? That is the difference I see on LS that makes some bitter.

November 6, 2011

I think the guys who complain on here are full of fear and have entitlement issues. As if they were guaranteed a mate at birth and the universe is going back on its promise. Life is tough. I doubt women find it all that much easier having to be with men. That is at least part of the reason why guys get dumped so much.

Complaining about things, to me, is a way to tell the world you can't cope with things. It's a sign of weakness. Acknowledging the world is going to be unfair, and then taking action to set up your life the way you need it to be. If you can't, well that's just another way life isn't fair. Complaining never changed that either.

One nice and helpful thing I read lately was in The Success Principles by Jack Canfield about people complaining is that they don't complain where they can find legitimate help and therefore keep facing the same problem.

For instance: at work we often complain about whatever is happening at home or in our neighbourhood. At home we complain about work. Neither sphere can solve the other's issues. We would gain more headway sorting things out with our spouse/roommates or our boss then adding more burden to those who cannot help us with the situation.

Often we don't do this because of the discomfort involved. BUT if we did do the sensical thing, it may be uncomfortable at first, and then having positive long-term results. I have a close friend that we both have the same blunt attitude with. I truly respect her even though I often disagree with her choices. I don't take her opinion of me personally and we both feel safe to ask each other for honest opinions instead of those that just placate us.

Where I am going with this: perhaps the men in question should ask point blank to WOMEN or the TYPE of women that they would pursue if they are attractive to them and why or why not and what can be worked on. Very embarassing, and uncomfortable BUT more likely to generate results then complaining to other men about the situation.

Apologies to anyone finding this offensive. Just trying to see a different angle on it.

November 6, 2011

You seem to have a gigantic chip on your shoulder about all this.

Sorry if it seems that way to you (sorry for YOU, that is, not an actual apology.) I feel absolutely zero envy of someone who:

- commits adultery

- commits adultery AS HIS FIRST TIME (see the point there is that's even worse as we go down the list)

- does the above AND feels proud of it

So that's at least 3 levels of disgusting below where I would ever in my life be.

I have standards. The aforementioned poster does not. I am better than that poster. I do not seek your approval nor would I ever need it to know this, or that I am right. And contrary to what you or the other loud heathens on the forum would like others to believe, I am not alone, nor am I "weird" in having ethical standards. There ARE other men out there who have them, who would agree with me and be just as incredulous as to the adulterous actions of said poster. You're wrong, he's wrong, and there is absolutely nothing about either of you to be admired.

November 7, 2011

I think if somebody is posting about being on the receiving end of abuse (and I prefer to extend the benefit of the doubt in this situation), and another poster refers to them as "ghetto trash"...then yes, I do see that as abusive. .

I saw that post, it was admittedly insulting, probably a violation of the TOS. And not to split semantic hairs but just don't see it rising to the level of "abusive" describing derailing in a thread that may pertain to actual abuse IRL. It's that kind of semantic extrapolation that I see some posters doing here that exacerbates the problem.

November 7, 2011

To that end, I have designed a new logo for what I feel is an underrepresented, misunderstood subcommunity on this forum -- whom the OP refers to as the "cynical, bitter, sexually inexperienced men on this forum," and whom I prefer to refer to as the far more politically-correct "Loveshack.org Involuntary Celibacy Society."

...

I hope this logo will provide this cast-away community with the voice it deserves. Let's all, you who are reading this, band together to support these brave men in their time of most need.

We need our own racing team, so I put it on an Audi: http://bit.ly/uWDivf

*On the spoiler too.

November 7, 2011

We need our own racing team, so I put it on an Audi: http://bit.ly/uWDivf

*On the spoiler too.

At first I was like sweet Audi...I like Audis...then the image finished loading and I am like LMFAO.:lmao:...that is awesome.

What program did you use to make that..did it take a lot of time?

November 7, 2011

What happened to the christlike graphic artist among us???

November 7, 2011

We need our own racing team, so I put it on an Audi: http://bit.ly/uWDivf

*On the spoiler too.

That is so freaking beautiful. Stand up and be counted with pride!

November 7, 2011

What is the point of this seemingly never-ending series of verbal abuses followed by contritions? Find a way to step away from doing things you later regret. Maybe write our your posts then consider what mood you are in. If you're steaming, don't post them. If you're not steaming and you feel you can back them up, post them.

Taking umbrage with things is fine. Being spiteful always results in you regretting it later, so don't be spiteful. You have all the time in the world to rephrase your posts before you post them; take advantage of that.

I realize that and I feel bad after I do because I know there are good women on here but it just gets to me sometimes. Some people are just such hypocrites.

November 7, 2011

I realize that and I feel bad after I do because I know there are good women on here but it just gets to me sometimes. Some people are just such hypocrites.

So what could you possibly do to avoid tipping over into thoughts and places like that that only reinforce negative patterns?

Probably avoiding the things that trigger them for starters, right?

November 7, 2011

At first I was like sweet Audi...I like Audis...then the image finished loading and I am like LMFAO.:lmao:...that is awesome.

What program did you use to make that..did it take a lot of time?

I used Blender to create the image. I had the 3D Audi model finished already so it was like 30 minutes of work to put the decals on and it is a quick render, so it's not photo realistic. I can do photo realistic, but it would have taken some extra hours of work.

I used to work as an editor and CGI special effects guy at a film studio when I was still in university, hence I know how to work with software like this, although film studios tend to use more expensive software like Maya and Softimage. I sometimes still do it as a hobby for fun or if I'm bored.

That is so freaking beautiful. Stand up and be counted with pride!

Thanks.

Edited November 7, 2011 by Nexus One

November 7, 2011

Sorry if it seems that way to you (sorry for YOU, that is, not an actual apology.) I feel absolutely zero envy of someone who:

- commits adultery
- commits adultery AS HIS FIRST TIME (see the point there is that's even worse as we go down the list)
- does the above AND feels proud of it

So that's at least 3 levels of disgusting below where I would ever in my life be.

I have standards. The aforementioned poster does not. I am better than that poster. I do not seek your approval nor would I ever need it to know this, or that I am right. And contrary to what you or the other loud heathens on the forum would like others to believe, I am not alone, nor am I "weird" in having ethical standards. There ARE other men out there who have them, who would agree with me and be just as incredulous as to the adulterous actions of said poster. You're wrong, he's wrong, and there is absolutely nothing about either of you to be admired.

I don't asked to be admired. Why feel shame? I did something I learned from it. I don't seek out those type of interactions anymore. I only do women with boyfriends and single women lol. When I started out that was all that seemed to be attracted to me so I ran with it

November 7, 2011

That is another thing that gets to me. There is this refusal to acknowledge that sometimes the men is not always to blame.

Forget about "blame" altogether. It's toxic and useless.

Each person is responsible for themselves; for how they deal with the hand they've been dealt. This includes how they handle the gifts they've received as well as the crap.

No matter what a woman does somehow a man is to blame or it is celebrated as turning the table and we get a goose for gander justification.

Stop making stuff up. We are all reading the same stuff here on LS.

Now go back to your happy place, or give your wife a massage or something nice.

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the troubling number of cynical, bitter, sexually inexperienced men on this forum

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