the troubling number of cynical, bitter, sexually inexperienced men on this forum

[nova_guy123]

I joined this forum a while ago after lurking on it a bit. I went away for a little over a year while overseas, and I come back and this forum seems to be filled with extremely angry young men, most of them seems to be sexually inexperienced.

 

Perhaps I'm a bit out of loop having been away from this forum and U.S. culture, but what gives? Is it that hard to find a date with a nice young lady these days? Is there an extreme amount of self loathing going on? Come on guys, why the anger and resentment? It can't be helping you attract the ladies...

 

By the way, please forgive me if this opens up a can of worms.

[Mme. Chaucer]

It's refreshing to have a guy noticing it … assuming you are a guy, nova_guy.

[nova_guy123]

Yeah I'm definitely a guy. But I can't be the only guy who notices it.

 

Can I?

[Wolf18]

He's probably old.

 

Thanks Nova Guy, for sitting around while feminism ruined America. We young men are angry because we didn't have the same simple romantic system our forefathers had.

 

Times have changed and things are getting worse.

[carhill]

Let's put some numbers to that. There are currently 172,106 members. How many would you say are 'cynical, bitter and sexually inexperienced'?

[nova_guy123]

I have no idea about how many, but I see several threads where the tone has become nasty, often with these guys taking over much of the commentary. It makes me wonder why.

[PlumPrincess]

Yeah I'm definitely a guy. But I can't be the only guy who notices it.

 

Can I?

They think it's the women's fault!

[Mme. Chaucer]

I don't know about the number, but their voices are drowning out a lot of other perspectives on many threads that originally had nothing to do with the plight of the cynical, bitter, sexually inexperienced men.

 

However many, they are a vocal group.

[PlumPrincess]

Actually, it was always like that. Even years ago.

[nova_guy123]

Wolf18, I'm 37. I'm not sure if that counts as "old". But it my life I have come across many guys younger than myself, none of them have perfect lives but I don't see the same level of anger and frustration in them as I do here in these last two or three days of reading Loveshack.

[Cracker Jack]

As a guy who's inexperienced, but not bitter and cynical like I used to be, I can say the problem, at least for me, is due to my confidence not being where I'd like it to be. I think if I was more confident in myself, I wouldn't be in the position that I'm at today. I don't think it's really hard to find a date with a nice young lady nowadays; it just seems to be hard for certain people who've never done too well in the dating world.

 

I'm really my own worse enemy when it comes to this. I think what makes it more difficult for me is being so....I dunno, just unaware of how to do certain things like create attraction, flirt properly; you know, things that most experienced guys seem to understand well.

 

The worse is actually knowing I had so many opportunites to do well, yet I never capitalized because I either thought "why would she ever be interested in a guy like me?" or some other nonsense that basically ruined my chances because I no longer felt motivated enough to pursue her.

 

But yeah, I'm not upset with women--just frustrated with myself for allowing it to hamper me for this long.

[nova_guy123]

Wolf18, I'm 37. I'm not sure if that counts as "old". But it my life I have come across many guys younger than myself, none of them have perfect lives but I don't see the same level of anger and frustration in them as I do here in these last two or three days of reading Loveshack.

 

Oops. I forgot to add, why do you think it's feminism's fault Wolf?

[carhill]

I'd place the number at under twenty. Anyone care to argue that upwards? They are a few shrill voices on an otherwise pink site. The ignore list works great. FWIW, and not an indictment of the group under discussion, most of the posters on mine are male.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Cracker Jack, you don't come off that way at all. I see you as a regular person with your own challenges and stuff, just like the rest of us. I never recall you trying to lay the blame on others, or on society, or God, or whom/whatever.

 

And, I predict that you will find yourself in the company of a very lovely young woman in the near future. That's what it said in my fortune cookie last night.

[PlumPrincess]

Oops. I forgot to add, why do you think it's feminism's fault Wolf?

Oh God, that was the wrong question, silly!

[nova_guy123]

Ah. Okay. I suppose if it gets very bad, many of them can be put on ignore, but I would have hoped that this forum could mostly be for discussion of people's problems and life stories. I'm just curious as to where all this stuff is coming from.

[Mme. Chaucer]

They are a few shrill voices on an otherwise pink site. The ignore list works great. .

 

Carhill, I have an ignore list almost exclusively comprised of the owners of those shrill voices, but just in the past couple of weeks, they have so dominated many threads that there IS no ignoring them, without leaving the thread entirely.

 

A woman has a thread about being abused - it turns into the whining angerfest of those guys. Another woman starts the "likes me for my personality" thread - same thing. Even with the guys on ignore, they derail very splendidly.

 

Just saying.

[fortyninethousand322]

Oh I'm sure that I'm one of the ones people hate. Wolf18 has me beat on the hatred stuff though since I could care less about feminism and blaming women solely. It's the guys who are good with women who bear a lot of the blame(at least half if not more). If they could just take one girl at a time and stay with that girl (and not even talk to any others) that would do a mountain of good for guys like me. I just don't like the competition.

[Queen Zenobia]

Normally, I would attribute this to youthful rebellion or general angst (like Catcher in the Rye) but most of these men are too old to have these attitudes. It's one thing for a 17 year old to complain about not getting any girls but some of these men are approaching 30.

 

I feel genuine sympathy for them, but I have to wonder what makes somebody get that angry seemingly all the time. Self hatred I'm sure has something to do with it but it's still somewhat disturbing.

[january2011]

As far as I can tell, they've always been around. But there were other voices that were louder and were able to drown them out. Unfortunately, a lot of those posters don't post anymore.

 

I've been on a site where there was a similar vibe and unfortunately, they were the majority. It wasn't a pleasant place to be if you have ovaries. I didn't stay long. It didn't matter whether they were inexperienced sexually or not, whether they were single or not. Their one uniting attribute was their contempt for women. It was a wonder that they had girlfriends or wives at all. The one forum that was set aside for women was constantly overrun by troll-like posting and every woman who posted would have her thread derailed by nasty pictures or crude language. The mods let them get away with it because a few of them were posting the same things under sock puppets. The few male members who privately disagreed with the behaviour didn't speak up in public. I think that site was closed down in the end because a lot of people were sick of the situation and left.

 

I get being angry at one person, because she seemingly ruined your life, but a whole gender? Why frequent a site that is filled with that gender? Why not just start an 'I hate women, who's with me?" site so that you can complain and vent all you like without any interference from female posters?

 

Thankfully, I don't need to understand a whole gender, I just have to understand one member of it.

[somedude81]

I joined this forum a while ago after lurking on it a bit. I went away for a little over a year while overseas, and I come back and this forum seems to be filled with extremely angry young men, most of them seems to be sexually inexperienced.

 

Perhaps I'm a bit out of loop having been away from this forum and U.S. culture, but what gives? Is it that hard to find a date with a nice young lady these days? Is there an extreme amount of self loathing going on? Come on guys, why the anger and resentment? It can't be helping you attract the ladies...

 

By the way, please forgive me if this opens up a can of worms.

Unfortunately yes.

 

I really have no idea why, but I've been rejected by every single girl I've been interested in since I was 13, I'm now 30.

 

The reason you see so many inexperienced men online is because the men who are online are usually the nerdy type. And the nerdy men are the ones who usually have the most troubles with women.

 

And then, the inexperienced men are often angry so they look for ways to spread their anger.

 

Hi I'm somedude81 and I'm a angry, bitter, sexually inexperienced man.

[alphamale]

and you figured this out in 10 posts, lord have mercy

[Mrlonelyone]

Most of them come here to vent and probably ore utterly normal in the rest of life.

 

Now in say mme chaucers book bitter = not agreeing with her.

[january2011]

A woman has a thread about being abused - it turns into the whining angerfest of those guys. Another woman starts the "likes me for my personality" thread - same thing. Even with the guys on ignore, they derail very splendidly.

 

These are the worst examples of this type of behaviour; behaviour that is truly deserving of being called contemptuous.

[nova_guy123]

Why not hang out with friends then? Or try to go someplace where there are lots of women who like the same things you do? Wouldn't that be a good way to improve your romantic life?