Wish more women were into the "DINK" lifestyke

[Pierre]

yes, and THANK GOD for birth control. We'd all have 15-16 kids...

 

... and for a guy pitching the value of emotional connection during sex... it isn't all about reproduction. Right?

Hardly anyone thinks about reproduction during sex. However, the only purpose of sex from the point of evolution is to have offspring.

 

Nature is wise and makes sex a very pleasant experience to trick women like you and Shannon into getting pregnant (even if you don't want to).

[Pierre]

No I'm screaming for a dick when I'm horny hahahahahaha not a f*cking bratty kid. :D

:laugh::laugh:

See above. Nature is fooling you big time.

[ThsAmericanLife]

You are using the dog to satisfy your emotional need to have a creature that loves you back. That is fair. Many old people in retirement homes have animals to keep them company.

 

I don't understand why the concern with pregnancy (a biological process) and cash. Life is much more than that.

 

Have you ever volunteered in a retirement community or old folks home?

 

I have.

 

They all had living children who rarely or never visited them. Having children is no guarantee of having family connections into old age. I distinctly remember one woman I met whose husband died and she was now in a nursing home. She had 6 kids who lived in the area who rarely visited. She cried nonstop, this woman. She'd devoted her whole life to raising them... and they dumped her in a nursing home. It was incredibly sad.

 

This is why I seek out and actively maintain very close friends of all ages and lifestyles. Friends are the family we choose.

 

and yes I have a dog 'Rescued'... much like I would have done with a child (or children) if I had the means and lifestyle to support one.

 

When I met my fiancee (now dead) my goal was to adopt. Since I'm 47 and a woman, it is very unlikely I will find someone willing to do that now. Sometimes life works out that way. Best intentions and all that.

 

The world has so many kids who need good homes. Despite my PhD and all that... the world doesn't need my genes.

[ShannonMI]

I personally find you MORE desirable for not wanting children.

 

I am sure this rings true with many other men who do not see children in their future.

 

It would make sense that you're seen less desirable by men who want kids. That's just logical. If you don't and they do, they'll be less inclined to date you. But isn't a scientific reason that deals with hormones, this is just basic A B Cs. Not sure what Pierre is trying to infer.

Thank you. I assume you don't want children? And obviously men who want kids won't want to marry me. They may date me for a bit, but they aren't going to want a long term, grow old and have kids with me type of commitment. That's fine with me.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Hardly anyone thinks about reproduction during sex. However, the only purpose of sex from the point of evolution is to have offspring.

 

Nature is wise and makes sex a very pleasant experience to trick women like you and Shannon into getting pregnant (even if you don't want to).

 

This is why I had my tubes tied at 30. No accidents, thank you

 

I'm pretty firm about wanting to be an adoptive or foster mom.. if I were a mom at all. As it is, I"ve channeled that 'energy' into my community and teaching now. That is what childless people did in the past too.

 

When I was looking for a man to start a family with back in my late 30's... there were plenty who couldn't be a father unless the kid looked like him.

 

That was his choice, but I still preferred men who could love any child... regardless of where they came from. Just as I could.

[ShannonMI]

Have you ever volunteered in a retirement community or old folks home?

 

I have.

 

They all had living children who rarely or never visited them. Having children is no guarantee of having family connections into old age. I distinctly remember one woman I met whose husband died and she was now in a nursing home. She had 6 kids who lived in the area who rarely visited. She cried nonstop, this woman. She'd devoted her whole life to raising them... and they dumped her in a nursing home. It was incredibly sad.

 

This is why I seek out and actively maintain very close friends of all ages and lifestyles. Friends are the family we choose.

 

and yes I have a dog 'Rescued'... much like I would have done with a child (or children) if I had the means and lifestyle to support one.

 

When I met my fiancee (now dead) my goal was to adopt. Since I'm 47 and a woman, it is very unlikely I will find someone willing to do that now. Sometimes life works out that way. Best intentions and all that.

 

The world has so many kids who need good homes. Despite my PhD and all that... the world doesn't need my genes.

Yeah true to the bolded portion of your post. Who says if I have kids they are going to take care of me when I'm old or even come VISIT me at the nursing home? F*ck that. Some kids loath their parents or are just ungrateful wastes. My grandparents had a kid like that. My uncle. He was a waste. A money grubbing leech who never gave a **** about them. Would NEVER visit them while they were in the nursing home. Thank God they had my mother and my aunt.

[Wolf18]

You need to have like 10 kids Wolf. They would bring out the best in you, I think.

 

I would like that, if it was even remotely affordable. I think 3-4 kids is the maximum I would want to have. But what woman is down for more than 1 kid these days? Oh my god what about my career

[Wolf18]

yes, and THANK GOD for birth control. We'd all have 15-16 kids...

 

... and for a guy pitching the value of emotional connection during sex... it isn't all about reproduction. Right?

 

Actually, sex is for reproduction ,and biology will tell you that a woman can't get pregnant all the time, only on her most fertile days.

 

Of course nothing wrong with sex for pleasure, but if you don't see a correlation in your sexual urges and the instinct to procreate you really need to brush up on the sciences. What isn't natural is not wanting to have children or pushing it off until you're 40 and end up having downys.

[ShannonMI]

:laugh::laugh:

See above. Nature is fooling you big time.

There is no tricking this girl. I use birth control. I get to enjoy the dick without worrying about the little tadpoles coming after my eggs.

[ShannonMI]

I would like that, if it was even remotely affordable. I think 3-4 kids is the maximum I would want to have. But what woman is down for more than 1 kid these days? Oh my god what about my career

And my body? The strech marks!! No thanks!!

[oaks]

"Double Income No Kids"

 

I usually see this expressed as DINKY (Yet...).

[Wolf18]

And my body? The strech marks!! No thanks!!

 

 

I have a feeling this is what stops women from having kids more than money.

 

It's sad that you base all your value around ...not having stretch marks.

[ShannonMI]

I have a feeling this is what stops women from having kids more than money.

 

It's sad that you base all your value around ...not having stretch marks.

I don't base all my value on my body, but my body is important to me. More then the stretch marks, I personally don't want something growing inside me. It's just not something I would be comfortable with. I know it's AMAZING that a woman can carry a fetus for 9 months and it can become a human being, but it's just not something I ever want to experience. Sorry, but that's how I am. I see nothing wrong with it.

 

At least I know that about myself and will not bring an unwanted child into this world. I think that says a lot.

[carhill]

So do I have to PAY to PLAY the rest of my life?

 

Absolutely not. Get a vasectomy this week and the odds of you procreating and 'paying' fall to almost zero. Make that appointment Monday

[ThsAmericanLife]

Actually, sex is for reproduction ,and biology will tell you that a woman can't get pregnant all the time, only on her most fertile days.

 

Of course nothing wrong with sex for pleasure, but if you don't see a correlation in your sexual urges and the instinct to procreate you really need to brush up on the sciences. What isn't natural is not wanting to have children or pushing it off until you're 40 and end up having downys.

 

Never said I didn't. My sex drive is quite high. If nature had its way, I really would have a bazillion kids. And some would argue that I'm irresponsible not doing so given my above average looks and intelligence (not bragging... just true).

 

None of my female relatives ever miscarried that I know of. One of my aunts had her first at 38 and second at 39. No birth defects of any kind. We are kinda freaks that way. We live well into our 90's. I'm 47 and still have regular periods. My mom didn't go through menopause until 55. Quite late.

 

If I wasn't looking for a committed life-long relationship, I'm sure I'd have alot of fun exercising my great genes and life experience with the gents in my neighborhood.

 

Oh well... can't have it all

[ShannonMI]

Absolutely not. Get a vasectomy this week and the odds of you procreating and 'paying' fall to almost zero. Make that appointment Monday

You know if I could, I would get a tubal ligation on Monday, but they won't do it for me. I'm 32 and they seem to think I'm going to change my mind about having kids someday. Stupid. By now I think I know if I want them or not. I'm not 18.

[Fondue]

I have a follow-up question, actually. I think this may eventually warrant it's own thread, but it somewhat relates to this one. So what the hell...

 

How would the average woman view a man on birth control (if it was ever to arrive)? They say it's relatively nearby, but still not fully available. I also read that the reason why it isn't available yet (or rather, stalled) is because there is a large female community that is against it because it gives more power to men in regards to procreation.

 

Would most women be sensible and happy that their man takes ownership of their "seed," or would they be threatened?

[ThsAmericanLife]

I have a feeling this is what stops women from having kids more than money.

 

It's sad that you base all your value around ...not having stretch marks.

 

read any of your own posts lately?? or perhaps I'm confusing you with some of your other male counterparts who whine incessently about women's attractiveness.

 

'You' and your fellow men as much as anyone have created this dynamic... same goes for the need to develop a career.

 

Take two seconds and ask yourself what you would do in a woman's situation...

[veggirl]

Late 20s here.

I can't wait to be a DINK I don't want kids, ever. This world is disgustingly over-populated as it is, I am certainly not planning on contributing to that.

 

I like kids well enough. I adore my siblings kids. I don't want the responsiblity, plain and simple. Luckily I am with a man who is totally on the same page:D

 

If not wanting kids makes me less desirable to some, then whatever. A man who wants kids is not what I desire, anyway.

 

How silly to say if you don't have kids you'll be sitting alone on holidays in your older age. I'll still have family. I have siblings. I have friends. I'll be just fine, childfree, thanks

[carhill]

You know if I could, I would get a tubal ligation on Monday, but they won't do it for me. I'm 32 and they seem to think I'm going to change my mind about having kids someday. Stupid. By now I think I know if I want them or not. I'm not 18.

When one gets an answer one believes to be non-sensical or inappropriate, one thanks the respondent and goes and asks the question to someone else. I'm sure Planned Parenthood knows a gynecologist who will not only do it, but do it laparoscopically so recovery is brief and infection risk is minimal. If you're serious, there's help out there for you.

[ThsAmericanLife]

You know if I could, I would get a tubal ligation on Monday, but they won't do it for me. I'm 32 and they seem to think I'm going to change my mind about having kids someday. Stupid. By now I think I know if I want them or not. I'm not 18.

 

I found one... call around.

 

It is appalling that women can't easily get this procedure if they want it. My current gyno said she'd never have allowed me to get my tubes tied. I asked her, how dare you?? you mean you would prefer I get abortions and subject my body to dangerous chemicals instead??

 

That decision is all about keeping women coming into their offices. The minute you get a tubal, you aren't there getting refills from the drug companies.

 

Best decision I ever made. Oh, here's one hint... look for doctors who are from developing countries. They have some idea about the effects of overpopulation in those places. That is what I did...

[ShannonMI]

I have a follow-up question, actually. I think this may eventually warrant it's own thread, but it somewhat relates to this one. So what the hell...

 

How would the average woman view a man on birth control (if it was ever to arrive)? They say it's relatively nearby, but still not fully available. I also read that the reason why it isn't available yet (or rather, stalled) is because there is a large female community that is against it because it gives more power to men in regards to procreation.

 

Would most women be sensible and happy that their man takes ownership of their "seed," or would they be threatened?

I would love it if there was male birth control. Come on, the only birth control men have to worry about are condoms and most men hate condoms. They prefer the girl to figure out a way not to get pregnant. They don't have to deal with the pill, the IUD, the diapham, the Nuvoring, blah blah blah. Us women always have to deal with the birth control part of the sexual relationship and I'm sure a lot of us are sick of it. The guys can start dealing with it now.

[nova_guy123]

 

Best decision I ever made. Oh, here's one hint... look for doctors who are from developing countries. They have some idea about the effects of overpopulation in those places. That is what I did...

 

On a related subject, most of the big advances in birth control technology (like the male birth control shot and pill) are taking place in developing countries like India (a male bc shot is already available in India and is awaiting FDA approval for US). Seems like the overpopulation problem gives added incentives to scientists and researchers.

[ShannonMI]

When one gets an answer one believes to be non-sensical or inappropriate, one thanks the respondent and goes and asks the question to someone else. I'm sure Planned Parenthood knows a gynecologist who will not only do it, but do it laparoscopically so recovery is brief and infection risk is minimal. If you're serious, there's help out there for you.

I just figured if one said it, they would all say it. Because I'm still relatively young, not married and of child bearing age. If I was in my 40's they might do it.

[carhill]

How silly to say if you don't have kids you'll be sitting alone on holidays in your older age. I'll still have family. I have siblings. I have friends. I'll be just fine, childfree, thanks

I noted, when visiting my mother's facility (a locked dementia facility), that nursing staff often commented on how often I visited (not really often, maybe a few times a month) compared to some other patients who hadn't been visited by their children in months or years. They had a sign-in log so could track such things. I found that interesting, though perhaps not reflective of wider experience. In some cases, having children isn't any sort of guarantee of love or attention or care in one's twilight years. The experience sure opened my eyes.