Not officially dating and it hurts worse than it would if we were..

[huskers11]

I met this guy at the bar (I know that was a bad idea) in mid-September and we have talked every day since.. That night we actually shared our first kiss.. About 2 weeks ago, he called me up and wanted to go out on a date. We had a great time and since then have hung out 5 or 6 times. Things definitely moved a lot quicker than I wanted to but it felt right. A few days after our first date, we got really carrried away and ended up having sex. Well in the past week/week & a half, I've spent the night at his house 3 times, having sex each time. The last time being two days ago and it was seriously amazing.. We had sex, then talked for a few hours before falling asleep and cuddling the entire night. It just felt so comfortable and like a relationship. I seriously haven't had feelings like this for a guy since my ex.

 

Last night, I got onto facebook and decided to see if I could find his profile. He had another girl in his profile picture so I called him up and asked him a series of questions. I asked if he had a girlfriend, he said yes.. I asked if he ever had feelings for me, he said yes.. I asked if he loved his gf and he said he didn't know. Then I asked if this was the first time he's ever cheated on her, and he said yes. I ended the conversation saying that I wasn't going to make him choose but I wasn't going to see him anymore while he was dating her. Judging by facebook, it looks like they've been together for almost a year now. I feel so heartbroken, betrayed, guilty.. I talked to several friends and they all agreed I should send her an email and tell her. Which I did, I just keep thinking if I was her I'd want to know especially since I'm really not sure if this is the first time he's done it.. I wanna say it is and that he really did like me and maybe things weren't going that great between them but that is probably just my own delusions.. And I think I did the right thing telling her but I really have no idea..

 

I feel incredibly stupid for getting myself into this mess and (I hate to admit this because I know how sad and pathetic it will sound) but I still want to be with him. I still want a chance at a relationship with him but I know that isn't smart and it's a terrible idea.. I'm just having a hard time believing the intimate moments we shared meant nothing, that I meant nothing. Because at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure he would pick her, they've been together for almost a year. Granted I don't know their relationship and from the way he was with me/talked, I don't think he loves her but I'm not in their relationship to judge. The worst part is, that a huge part of me wishes I wouldn't have found out!

 

Anybody else been in my position? Am I being dumb for believing his excuses? I think he really did like me and I just don't understand how he could do this...

[theratandthecat]

looks like you met a pua.

definitely tell the girlfriend. don't want him back more. I understand it's hard, but if he could cheat on his girlfriend, he could always cheat on you & end up breaking up with you

[DownNotOut]

Yep - I think it would be a bad idea to start a relationship with him - even though it was amazing for the short amount of time he was with you. If he cheated on her, he will cheat on you and you're setting yourself up for heartbreak.