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MAJOR crush

ShyFrigidSkeptic

By ShyFrigidSkeptic
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ShyFrigidSkeptic New Member

ShyFrigidSkeptic

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I have this cute, SINGLE physics professor...he gives me all these signs (holding eye contact, being all nice, generally making me feel like teacher's pet etc etc). Im an older student (30) and he is 40. The last lesson he dished all this info about a trip he had to make and then asked me to stay behind and POINTEDLY waited for EVERY LAST PERSON to leave the class before giving me a take home make-up test. A guy I know who took his class last semester said this teacher has a reputation as a 'horn dog...' which is why I am not showing anything but polite distance to this teacher. He may or may not be a horndog. I am EXTREMELY shy but this time dont want to feel regret a couple months/years later when circumstances have changed and I havent shown an IOTA of interest in a guy that was a 'potential.' All points of view are welcome.

Edited by ShyFrigidSkeptic
oaks Established Member

oaks

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He's your professor so he's off limits because of the pre-existing professional relationship.

Cee Established Member

Cee

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Once you aren't his student anymore, then dating would probably be allowed (depends on the school). The hard part is establishing a completely new pattern of relating - as equals not teacher/student.

 

If you are a Physics or science major, there might be an opportunity for you to discuss the profession and perhaps develop a friendship. Or if you are at a small school, there may be social functions where faculty and students interact in relaxed, collegial way. I suppose you could friend each other on Facebook, but I think that's sticky. I'm in my early 40s like your professor and I would not want to mix business and pleasure in that manner.

 

His reputation as a "horndog" sounds like ageist hogwash to me. However, it may indicate that he is generally charming and friendly to many students. So you may not be singled out for his friendliness, but who knows?

 

Personally, I enjoyed crushes on professors for what they were - crushes. Crushes can be nice because you enjoy going to class more. But crushes need not lead anywhere.

Leegh Established Member

Leegh

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I know what you mean about regret, to always wonder what could have been can cause a lot of sadness. Possibly you could ask him if there are any holiday parties coming up at your school, and make small talk conversation with him for a few minutes after class every so often. I think it would be fine if a student and professor went out, as both are adults. If you are getting "vibes" that he is interested you are probably correct.

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ShyFrigidSkeptic New Member

ShyFrigidSkeptic

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Hi people - thanks for your replies. I'll just keep being friendly and smiley :) and hope he gets the message before the end of the semester (a few weeks away)....I'll keep you posted - I value your input.

rhenziel New Member

rhenziel

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Be careful. You might be in trouble because you are still a student of the university. :)

  • 1 month later...
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ShyFrigidSkeptic New Member

ShyFrigidSkeptic

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Not very good news Im afriad....

 

Last two classes my hot Physics Professor did a complete ABOUT TURN when I asked for one of my papers back - and was incredibly off with me and told me to see him the next day at what time he shved the paper in my hand and told me I handed it in too late to grade and "TOO LATE!!!" was written across it.

 

Call me a psycho but I know I wasnt misreading him before - he really liked me. What the heck is going on?!?!?

FrustrationSetsIn Member

FrustrationSetsIn

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Call me a psycho but I know I wasnt misreading him before - he really liked me. What the heck is going on?!?!?

 

He's your teacher, you're his student, that's what is going on.

 

Perhaps you should just leave it at that, until you aren't his student at least. ;)

waynesworld Established Member

waynesworld

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It's probably for the best, as you're still his student. Maybe he figured you were the goody-goody, super studious type, and when you submitted your paper late, it was a major turn-off for him. Or maybe he's just an anal professor.

xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

Posted
Posted
Not very good news Im afriad....

 

Last two classes my hot Physics Professor did a complete ABOUT TURN when I asked for one of my papers back - and was incredibly off with me and told me to see him the next day at what time he shved the paper in my hand and told me I handed it in too late to grade and "TOO LATE!!!" was written across it.

 

Call me a psycho but I know I wasnt misreading him before - he really liked me. What the heck is going on?!?!?

 

You didn' t sleep with him.

 

Whatevrr his problem is, if he intentionally single you out again., you go to the higher ups. I personally would not want to get involved with my professor, the chances of it becoming a boooty call is higher than the " potential " of it leding into a relatipnship.!

you_can_not_see_me Established Member

you_can_not_see_me

Posted
Posted (edited)

what is up with girls developing crushes on their teachers and instructors?

 

I once had a very attractive female instructor, but even then I didn't really ever have feelings for her. I just think the student-teacher relationship makes any romantic thought kinda creepy, honestly.

 

and It's not just me, I hear girls going for their instructors but hardly ever hear a guy going for his instructor(while I am sure there have been cases). so this makes me think it's a female thing, a female thing I don't really like

Edited by you_can_not_see_me
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ShyFrigidSkeptic New Member

ShyFrigidSkeptic

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Thanks for your replies - they're always so interesting.

 

Well, shortly after I made that post and before I read any of your replies, I went into a blind panic and convinced myself Hot Professor is planning to fail me. So I wrote him an email basically grovelling - and I asked him (politely) wtf was the matter. He replied: "Actually, i don't get upset. Every student including yourself was told 'Take-home" exams were due the next class, not the next week.Your first opportunity yielded 'turning in the exam' several weeks late (without an excuse). You were given yet another opportunity and it was also turned in substantially late; this isn't fair to other students.(i.e giving more time). I treat every student the"SAME" and therefore this prevents someone from indicating preferential treatment or starting...any RUMORS."

 

Before you judge me - I dont recall turning a SECOND exam in late. And Im not to sure what the RUMORS are about either....although I tried to find out from some classmates who intern where he works if he had a girlfriend. Maybe it was that....

 

So I stupidly wrote: "I apologize - I developed a crush on you early in the course, which affected my ability to do my Math work on time. You were unaware of this. I apologize and certainly dont mean to cause you difficulty or awkwardness."

 

Fellow readers: what have I gotten myself into? I'm in knee deep arent I? My final is this coming Wednesday.

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ShyFrigidSkeptic New Member

ShyFrigidSkeptic

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but my flight or flight response took over and I got convinced he was planning to faul me so I'd have to retake him (which I wouldnt if he did). I think I may be too late to take things further if it comes to that....please read my last post and comment.

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