emeraldcity Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 Its been a long time now since my ex left me - I think 10 or so months?? Anyway, we were together for 1 fabulous year, and very much in love. He broke my heart when he broke up with me. Basically he gave me BS reasons, and then dropped of the face of the earth.....that is up until a few months back. Although I had tried to keep contact with him in the first few months, I gave up after not long. he was replying sometimes to my emails - but it became clear that he didn't want to keep in contact. So life goes on. About 5 months of No Contact, and one day I decided to write him an email to see how he was. He replied the next day, and his tone was different. He was actually nice - but still quite distant. Well I didn't really want to think anything of it, so I waited a week to reply. It took him 3 weeks to respond!! - but when he did, he had written a simply HUGE email full of apologies and explanations of his behavior. I realised at that point that he wanted to go over it with me, but I refused to get into the conversation and just replied politely (3 weeks later). After the last email, he was now replying within 1 week. The emails had become sweeter, nicer and asked more questions (it was clear he was trying to keep up the contact). I didn't know how much I wanted the contact, and wanted to keep him at bay - so I always took longer to reply than he did. But if ever I believed in the old saying "men like to chase" I certainly believe it now. The longer I take, and the more distant I sound - the less time he takes and the more friendly he becomes. His last email was sent within a few hours of having written mine - so basically immediately. It was written with the same tone he used when we were in a relationship, happy, joking so forth. He sent lyrics in the header (which was something we used to do when together) - and when I looked it up, it was the title to a song about being "crippled with desire - but I am not your savior". I think he's trying to get back with me. It's kind of pathetic in a way, that he seems to be so easily manipulated. I don't know - what do you all think? Its' just wierd how the ex always comes in for a closer look when they think that you are over them.
LILUIL Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 for all you know, he got jilted by some girl and NOW he realises how good you were to him before? IMO men don't deserve second chances. why cant they do it right the first time. but as much as i can talk i know how u r feeling right now. you're kinda on the fence aren't u? think hard of whatever reason you two broke off in the first place. is he worth a second chance and do u think he has become a better person and will be a better mate? go with what u know about him. and if u decide to let him in a last time or whatever, TAKE UR TIME no hurry. let him really realise his mistake from before.
Author emeraldcity Posted May 21, 2004 Author Posted May 21, 2004 The things is, I know he hasn't been with anyone since me - and neither have I. I know this because I remained mutual friends with some friends of his, and although we don't talk very much about him - I knew that he wasn't dating anyone (I don't think it was for lack of trying tho)
LILUIL Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 i think you know him best and whether he deserves a second chance. all i can say is, take your time on this. no hurry coz if he really wants you back he can wait. not to test him, but it'll be good that you take time to think things over before responding to him coz surely you dont wanna get hurt a second time by the same man.
Reality Check Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 "I think he's trying to get back with me. It's kind of pathetic in a way, that he seems to be so easily manipulated. I don't know - what do you all think? Its' just wierd how the ex always comes in for a closer look when they think that you are over them." And you are thinking about giving a second chance? WOW.... Be happy that he is writing to you and cares... do not bad mouth a man who is exposing himself.... he might be reading this board.
Author emeraldcity Posted May 21, 2004 Author Posted May 21, 2004 Just out of curiousity reality - what got your back up about this? My ex has been far from nice to me in his actions, and although he has admittedly made some attempt to apologise - he remains as immature as ever. Why shouldn't I feel a bit off towards him. Should I just accept his apology now that he wants to give it. THose first few months killed me. It might have been nice back then!
Reality Check Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 Two wrongs don't make a right My problem is that most people on this board give their own best advice... and yet do not follow it, but ask for some. People cease to follow thier gut, but rather feel they can trust a total strangers. Hmmm... but him, since I give consultations to couples.... maybe I should keep my mouth shut, it's my lively hood. In your case, please be nice..... if it's worth it. If not... still be nice. Cheers
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