miguel malato Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Hi My name is Miguel, I am portuguese and live in Portugal. I'm 19 years old, and, I've never had a girlfriend. I feel so alone and empty in a sense that I lack the love of a woman. A companion, someone who is there to love me and understand me. I have no trouble making male friendships, although not many travel to a deep bonding level. As long as I can remenber, shyness had always overwhelmed me when it came to talking to a girl. Now, I don't feel as anxious as I once felt, but, as I'm standing next to her I simply can't come up with anything (at all) to say to her. I want to say something but nothing pops up. So it's not a matter of being courageous, of having the guts to engage in a conversation. It's the ability to keep the conversation going, and making a connection, making interest. I lack that so much... and I feel truly desperate because frankly, I find it ****ing pathetic going online to ask for dating advice. But then again, I am kinda pathetic. Regards,
betterdeal Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 You're not pathetic - you're courageous to accept you have a challenge and to seek help. What makes you freeze up? Do you say "hello", ask her her name, tell her a joke or something interesting you heard that day? Do you look at her eyes and tell her they're pretty?
Author miguel malato Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 I don't freeze. I've had that feeling. Like I said, this isn't an anxiety issue (I think). I feel extremely depressed, and just down low. Sometimes it just doesn't show anything in my head. It's like a constant freeze, not a temporary one
betterdeal Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 Is this only when you're with girls or other times too? Maybe talk to your doctor if you feel depressed. Anti-depressants might be useful for you.
betterdeal Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 If it's just conversation you have issues with, try talking to her like you talk to guys. Okay, maybe don't talk about girls and breasts and that, but talk about what you talk about with your friends. Sometimes it's not the topic of the conversation but the way you converse that matters, so talking about something you know about will be easier, will give you confidence and you will be able to joke and show her just how decent and nice you are. Then, when things are going well, pay her a compliment.
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