F10M Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 (edited) I actually read sth like this on the forum yesterday and learned quite a lot. My case is a bit different and it would be great if you guys could give me some advice. I am sorry that this is so long, but this whole thing really bothers me so plz bear with me. and I am in college btw So I noticed this girl in my class, she looked really serious all the time and doesnt seem like a very friendly person(at the beginning of the semester, I ran into her near the library but she basically pretended she didn't see me), so I basically ignored her even tho she's pretty. that being said, I felt like she has been wanting my attention - it looked like she wait after class for me to approach her, she comes to class early, she's always sitting next to me (it was a small class rm, but we both sit by the aisle, so it wasn't that close) etc. and finally this other day before class, I was waiting outside the classroom with the prof., she came, the prof. talked to her and she actually sounded like a decent person - so I became a bit interested, i thought she was those people that looked cold on the outside but are actually very nice. and then in class, I looked at her when she was called - she has a pretty smile and thats what kept me interested. So after class, I looked at her and wanted to talk to her, she definitely noticed, but everyone was leaving so I never got the chance to talk to her. And the next class, she showed up way before class, so I finally got the chance to talked to her alone, but she seemed really "cool" and very restrained, and then after class, she left right afterward before I can talk to her. The next class, she showed up late and left the room early, but she waited for her friend by the door. So I followed her out, said hi and made a quick joke, then I asked her if she was ready for the coming up mid term - I was gonna ask her on a study date, she said she wasn't and her friend showed up, so they left together before I can ask. When she was leaving, she turned around smiling and just told me to have a nice weekend. With all the mix signals, I was really confused but I decided to man up and find out she's interested for sure, I sent her an email asking her on a study date, and she said she'd love that. So I got her number and we started texting for next two days, during which she seemed interested, responding well with a lota content, etc. But then two hours before the study date few days later, she txted me saying she cant make it since her project is taking longer than she thought but we could do this tmrw, since she sounded sincere, I said it was okay and she apologized again. The next day, 30 mins before the meetup, she texted me with one sentence sayin she cant come after all, I was really upset since she didn't bother to explain, I called her and went into her voice mail, then i txted her asking her if everything is okay, she said she is just really sick - sounded fake. I called her out and asked her if she's avoiding me, she didnt respond, I called again after a few mins and got the voice mail again. More than that, she missed the first class next week and only showed up in the exam looking like nothin happened - talk to her friend and everything, by then, I was really upset/angry with her, so I completely ignored her, took the exam and left right afterward, and again I got the feeling that she's waiting for me to approach her. She never called/txted me, so there hadnt been any communication for a almost a week now. here is what I am right now, I want to know whether she's actually interested in me or that she's just wanting my attention. but if she is, why would she hang around for over a month? or am I just reading too much into things this whole time? Thx for so much for the help! Edited November 4, 2011 by F10M
carhill Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 She sounds like a normal college-age young lady reveling in her sexual power. Nothing unique. IMO, your only error was 'calling her out' and asking her if she was avoiding you. Next time smile and move on. You're a man with options. She was a fleeting interest and her lack of response caused you to move on to door #2. If she gets back in contact with you for any reason and by any means, simply ask her on a date; a real date, not hanging out or studying. Any answer other than an enthusiastic 'yes' is a no and, if no, erase her. Welcome to LS
Author F10M Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 I am just having a hard time accepting that she will hang around for over a month if she is not interested so only if there is no contact from her, it means that she's just using me for attention? It there a possibility that she's simply shy? I just dont get how she could be so sincere or at least sounded so sincere the first time she bailed on me, and be so rude the 2nd time. did I give her too much power?
carhill Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 If she were shy she wouldn't be so open and engaging in class. Her behavior changes from one moment to the next because that's how women her age are. FWIW, it can happen at any age, and even when one is married. Nature of the beast. Yes, you gave her too much power. You're still doing so, coming here and trying to figure out her mind and emotions. Focus on you and what you want. If she's not up for that, next.
Author F10M Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 If she were shy she wouldn't be so open and engaging in class. Her behavior changes from one moment to the next because that's how women her age are. FWIW, it can happen at any age, and even when one is married. Nature of the beast. Yes, you gave her too much power. You're still doing so, coming here and trying to figure out her mind and emotions. Focus on you and what you want. If she's not up for that, next. I think you might have read it wrong, she never asked questions in class, only talked with her friend a few times. I guess deep down I know what I should do. Just feel like its such a shame, I was actually excited about the whole thing. I really hate to overreact. I will try to be cool without being rude, and not getting my hopes up.
Recommended Posts