tahoekid Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 I've "attempted" a few LDRs in the past 9 months, but most never got past a few dates. I then started seeing someone locally, dating for a couple of months but we're both realizing it's not going to turn into a serious relationship - too many issues which I won't go into here. Ok, so my situation is that I live in Utah (which in itself makes dating hard due to living in Mormon-land), but I still own a home in SF Bay Area. I already travel to-from California a lot, to see my kids (boys in college living at the house), my dog, friends. After dating locally here, I realize I really only see her on weekends, and if I were to travel to-from California every-other-week (which I'm already doing), I should look for someone closer to my home in the bay area. I could travel every-other-week as I said, and I figure she could come this way once in awhile. I meet many women online and of course the "compatible matches" are few here in Utah, but if I search near my home, there are plenty of matches. I guess my question is for those who are established in a LDR with a similar "visit" rate, like twice a month for a weekend, and who have been doing this for more than six months.... how is that working out? And what about meeting half-way? (I mostly drive as it is a 10-hour drive door-to-door vs 8-hour door-to-door via airlines, and I have to rent a car when I get there).
creighton0123 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 You'll still face the inevitable question about how to end the distance between you and anyone you meet in the SF Bay area. What is preventing you from moving there permanently? IMO, sometimes a twice-a-month in person LDR that is open ended is worse than a twice-a-year, in person LDR that has a definitive end point where the distance is no longer an issue.
HeavenOrHell Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 The main thing is that it works for you. It will work for some people and not others. Most of the people in this forum see their partner every few months, the luckier ones see them every few weeks. So probably a lot of us might say yes it would work for us, simply as it's so much better than what we have now. 10 hours is a long drive for you, so maybe you could meet halfway whenever possible? LDR's won't work for many people, even if couples meet once a week, it's not enough for some people. You just have to see how things go, and give it your best shot. Good luck I've "attempted" a few LDRs in the past 9 months, but most never got past a few dates. I then started seeing someone locally, dating for a couple of months but we're both realizing it's not going to turn into a serious relationship - too many issues which I won't go into here. Ok, so my situation is that I live in Utah (which in itself makes dating hard due to living in Mormon-land), but I still own a home in SF Bay Area. I already travel to-from California a lot, to see my kids (boys in college living at the house), my dog, friends. After dating locally here, I realize I really only see her on weekends, and if I were to travel to-from California every-other-week (which I'm already doing), I should look for someone closer to my home in the bay area. I could travel every-other-week as I said, and I figure she could come this way once in awhile. I meet many women online and of course the "compatible matches" are few here in Utah, but if I search near my home, there are plenty of matches. I guess my question is for those who are established in a LDR with a similar "visit" rate, like twice a month for a weekend, and who have been doing this for more than six months.... how is that working out? And what about meeting half-way? (I mostly drive as it is a 10-hour drive door-to-door vs 8-hour door-to-door via airlines, and I have to rent a car when I get there).
creighton0123 Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 The main thing is that it works for you. It will work for some people and not others. Most of the people in this forum see their partner every few months, the luckier ones see them every few weeks. So probably a lot of us might say yes it would work for us, simply as it's so much better than what we have now. 10 hours is a long drive for you, so maybe you could meet halfway whenever possible? LDR's won't work for many people, even if couples meet once a week, it's not enough for some people. You just have to see how things go, and give it your best shot. Good luck It is good advice, HoH. Not sure, however, that exclusively pursing an LDR is smart. All of us have been in a situation where we have chosen a long distance relationship after meeting someone... but to go out there and decide that you want to meet someone that will de facto result in an LDR can be... daunting.
Author tahoekid Posted November 5, 2011 Author Posted November 5, 2011 Thanks for the input. There is a possibility I would relocate back to CA by the end of next summer. My company had me traveling a lot, extended stay in Florida last year, so I have not even attempted to date, instead focusing on work and fun (alone), but that's getting old after several years. Time is on my side so I'm likely going to stick it out looking for someone closer...
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