ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Well it was an interesting night last night... *First, background info: Boyfiend of 6 years (living together for 4.5) say's out of the blue we need a break (GIGS I am thinking), so I agree to a 6 month break and I moved out. Tell him to figure his **** out, but I won't wait for him. It's been 28 days since the break up and 2 weeks since I moved out, but the frist 2 weeks before I moved, I stayed with friends and family. We work together and share a vehicle still as we both need the car and live close to eachother. So it's been LC instead of NC, for obvious reasons. I never text him, send him emails, or call him. I haven't since day one. He's sent about 10 texts since the break and called about 3 times. None of which I have replied to. I try to keep it all face to face, short, sweet and business like. *Story time: Okay, so I am on the phone with my mom last night shooting the **** about buying a couch and crap. When my other line starts to go off. I look and low and behold... it's the ex. Hmmm, so I am pondering if I should answer it or not... I did answer. He says "Hey what are you doing?" me "just on the otherline right now" him "did you get cable yet?" me "nope, but should be soon, just waiting for a call from Shaw" him "Oh well the Oilers vs Kings game is on tonight" me "yeah should be a good game" him "well do you want to come over and watch it?" me "I am busy right now, but maybe in a bit" .. then we hung up. So now I am freaking out (in a good way) I call my mom back and I am asking her "what the hell do I do?!" and she says to do what my gut tells me to do. So I hang up with mom and call my gf and she says to go if thats all it is... watching hockey nothing more. So about 2 hours from the call I ask the ex if the invitation to watch the game is still open (I do seriously love hockey), he says "yup, 0-0 in the middle of the second". So I head over with my jersey on, made sure I looked good lol. So we watch the game and then he says "do you want to watch one of our shows?" I say " sure lets watch parks and recreation, then I have to go". So we watch that, we shoot the ****, I keep the conversation away from the relationship topic. One part in the show has to do with a break up he says "why is it, that everything we watch has to do with our situation?" I said, "you initated it" and that was that. Now it's time for me to go home he says "well it's dark and late, sure you're okay to walk home?" I said "it's 3 blocks and I've done many times before, I'll be fine"... I say thank you and we hugged (he was trying to pull me in closer for more or something, I don't know, but I pulled away) and he says "You're more then welcome to come over at anytime"... ? what? I am thinking, you wanted me gone so you could have your space and figure out if the grass is greener. I said "B you know I can't do that". He asks why. I said "because I will just want to be with you and all over you and touch you" he laughs and smirks and says "were would you touch me?" I said "You either have me and only me, or you don't have me". He says "I know". Blah blah blah. I said "thank you again and I will see you at work tomorrow". And I took off. Now I am wondering what do I do?... I think I should keep it at LC and doing what I have been doing. I don't want to think to much about it... but I think he might be pining after me. OH! AND he had tickets he bought to a function for last night and he bailed on it... wtf. So now I am at work and I haven't said boo to him. I have walked by his office, but didn't bother to look in (just as I have always been doing). Ahh I don't know my next step.
headsashed Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Id play it cool,he initiated the break up so let him chase after you,im sure if he's pining that much then he will make it clear he wants you back. Just act normal and let him do all the work.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Id play it cool,he initiated the break up so let him chase after you,im sure if he's pining that much then he will make it clear he wants you back. Just act normal and let him do all the work. Yeah I am trying too. I told him I needed the car tonight because I had plans... but I didn't say what those plans were. Oh the silly games we play.. not my choice.
headsashed Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Yeah I am trying too. I told him I needed the car tonight because I had plans... but I didn't say what those plans were. Oh the silly games we play.. not my choice. Dont let him know what your plans are,let him wonder,its not really a game is it because you aint exactly in a relationship so its nothing to do with him. Get all dressed up cos that will make him want you more and also wonder where you are going dressed like that lol.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Dont let him know what your plans are,let him wonder,its not really a game is it because you aint exactly in a relationship so its nothing to do with him. Get all dressed up cos that will make him want you more and also wonder where you are going dressed like that lol. Well he won't see me before I go out, but I have been looking pretty good lately and lost 10lbs and have been in spin class. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I look better/ healthier then I did say a month ago with him. I am very vague on my plans when we speak. He seems to usually tell me his.. I don't know why I don't ask. He has also been stopping by my office on the way out from work. Sometimes I am not sure what for. He tells me things we have already JUST discurssed and know. God I love him.
Bobby289 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Have the upper hand now I see, no I'm not jealous:rolleyes:...
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Have the upper hand now I see, no I'm not jealous:rolleyes:... ... he just walked by my office and smiled and winked at me. Oh the confusion... I like it, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I am just going to keep playing it as I have.
headsashed Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 yes,keep playing it cool and then you will win in the end... how long have you to been broken up?
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 yes,keep playing it cool and then you will win in the end... how long have you to been broken up? A mere 28 days.
headsashed Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 not really that long then,im double that nearly lol,i dont think my ex will ever come back to me and i dont hold any hope that she will,i think 2 months is long enough for her to "get over me" ,,just wished it was the same for me lol.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 not really that long then,im double that nearly lol,i dont think my ex will ever come back to me and i dont hold any hope that she will,i think 2 months is long enough for her to "get over me" ,,just wished it was the same for me lol. I think its best never to hope right from the breakup... as hard as that is. My dad was on my moms door step 6 months later, begging her to take him back (he was the one that left). I right now am trying not to hope. lol
headsashed Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 I kept hope for 4 weeks until she apparently slept with some guy,then i knew i couldnt take her back even though i still love her. Ill never know if she is over me or what she's feeling,i dont even want to ask her anymore. We were very close and loving for 2 years so maybe 2 months isnt long enough for her to get over me,if she was over me then im sure she wouldnt txt/call/visit etc,then again that maybe to just ease her pain or whatever. In the end i will never know what she's feeling or anything and im not gonig to ask because im trying to get on with my own life and get over her.
Bobby289 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Yeah just keep that pimp hand strong. Nothing worse than false hope.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Yeah just keep that pimp hand strong. Nothing worse than false hope. That pimp hand? lol I thought myself about rebounding as the dumpee, just to get over the ex.. but really, I know better, it doesn't work. Plus I'd feel yucky I think because it would not be my ex. So instead I choose to work through the pain and I think outcome is more effective this way.
Bobby289 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 That pimp hand? lol I thought myself about rebounding as the dumpee, just to get over the ex.. but really, I know better, it doesn't work. Plus I'd feel yucky I think because it would not be my ex. So instead I choose to work through the pain and I think outcome is more effective this way. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pimp%20Hand Rebounds are by far the worst thing you could do for yourself and shows the lack of values and self respect I think.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pimp%20Hand Rebounds are by far the worst thing you could do for yourself and shows the lack of values and self respect I think. Oh I agree. But in the moment of desperation... it may have seemed like a good idea somehow. But I didn't, I choose the high road and a healthy way of working through things.
Author ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Well he just left work for the day and stopped by my office to drop of my car keys. He is always asking me what I am doing on the weekends... I don't know if he is trying to make small talk (if he is... I don't know why he would try) or if he is trying to see what I am up too and how well I am doing?... Oh I need to listen to my own advise and not look deep into these things. Blah.
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