Moving to NYC in December...need dating and getting used to new city insight

November 4, 2011

Men like him are similiar to really attractive women. They have been there and done that when it comes to dating 10s and realize what really matters in the end.

That's most likely true. So he knows what's attractive. Just because he didn't marry "attractive" doesn't mean he doesn't know what it is. I'd be beyond flattered if Hugh Jackman called me cute. That shouldn't stop average Joes from hitting on me and asking me out though.

November 4, 2011

What incentive does a typical woman have in dating me when she has hedgefund managers and Hugh Jackman himself wanting to get in her panties?

I can think of several disincentives to sleeping with hedgefund managers and Hugh Jackman.

Younger hedgefund managers are douchebags. Enough said. Went on one date with one, and that was enough for me. One date. Even if you find one who's not a douchebag, hedgefund managers have the same problems as doctors and Wall Street lawyers, in that they work too much and their schedules are unpredictable. Not dating material for sure, and as for casual sex, you might as well just sleep with someone who's really good looking.

Older hedgefund managers don't typically chase shop girls. They marry women from their own socio-economic background, and they settle down. If they want something on the side, they are much likelier to go to a prostitute than to start sleeping with some sales girl who may get ideas and start stalking the wife. The reason is simply avoiding divorce which, for rich people, can get very nasty, long and costly. I know these men from having worked with them; they value the long-term comforts and conveniences of married life (which, incidentally, gives them the stability that helps rake in the big bucks) far more than they do casual sex.

As for Hugh Jackman -- this is another issue of women not having a hive mind. There are plenty of women who are simply not interested in actors, and all the **** that the actor environment contains: drugs, casual sex and fleeting relationships. I don't know about Hugh Jackman, but most actors are not particularly educated, either, and not great conversationalists when they aren't reciting lines that other people wrote for them. And that's a huge turn-off to a lot of women, including beautiful ones.

I'd say -- and I mean no offense here -- the reasons why women aren't flocking to you have less to do with Hugh Jackman and more to do with your attitude.

November 4, 2011

Many actors are like that but Hugh Jackman actually seems like a decent guy.

November 4, 2011

Many actors are like that but Hugh Jackman actually seems like a decent guy.

And he's fine as hell!!!!:love:

November 4, 2011

Have you seen Hugh's wife? She looks like a sea hag. I'm sure any decent looking girl is "cute" to him in comparison to his wife. She's probably a wonderful wife and mother, but he could do a lot better looks wise.

It wasn't anything personal against him, from what I've heard from people that work with him he's a good guy, not into the drugs and treats people around him very well. He strays from his wife all the time when he's in NYC, but he wouldn't leave her.

I'd say -- and I mean no offense here -- the reasons why women aren't flocking to you have less to do with Hugh Jackman and more to do with your attitude. [/Quote]

So do all the guys here who live in NYC and talk about how problematic it is, have an attitude problem too? I mean, even the people who aren't that critical of this city and it's inhabitants, don't necessarily say anything good about the women either. Girls here are snobs who think they're God's gift to men. They look down on blue collar guys like me, even if they come from such a family themselves. Is it impossible for women to ever be accountable for anything?

When you get to NYC, you become a mini-celebrity...just for being a woman.

November 4, 2011

It wasn't anything personal against him, from what I've heard from people that work with him he's a good guy, not into the drugs and treats people around him very well. He strays from his wife all the time when he's in NYC, but he wouldn't leave her.

So do all the guys here who live in NYC and talk about how problematic it is, have an attitude problem too? I mean, even the people who aren't that critical of this city and it's inhabitants, don't necessarily say anything good about the women either. Girls here are snobs who think they're God's gift to men. They look down on blue collar guys like me, even if they come from such a family themselves. Is it impossible for women to ever be accountable for anything?

When you get to NYC, you become a mini-celebrity...just for being a woman.

Ahhhh he strays. Why am I not surprised?

November 4, 2011

I miss when NYC was gritty and had graffiti all over the place and was just a place for outcasts instead of a place for the elite.

November 4, 2011

I miss when NYC was gritty and had graffiti all over the place and was just a place for outcasts instead of a place for the elite.

True. Today it's a sanitized, effeminate, boring place where the only thing to do is spend boat loads of money. It used to be a fun playground for psychos and degenerates

November 4, 2011

I miss when NYC was gritty and had graffiti all over the place and was just a place for outcasts instead of a place for the elite.

Wolf is right, the women are all stuck up there. They are all uppity and think their sh*t doesn't stink. I would hate being a man trying to date in NYC.

November 4, 2011

True. Today it's a sanitized, effeminate, boring place where the only thing to do is spend boat loads of money. It used to be a fun playground for psychos and degenerates

Oh they're still there along with the derelicts. Gotta love NYC:p

November 4, 2011

True. Today it's a sanitized, effeminate, boring place where the only thing to do is spend boat loads of money. It used to be a fun playground for psychos and degenerates

I used to live in a run down house flop house in the lower east side back in the 90s that was crawling with some of the strangest people you could meet but it was also one of the funnest times in my life. I found those people much more likable than the yuppies that inhabit the city today. At least they were real.

November 4, 2011

Oh they're still there along with the derelicts. Gotta love NYC:p

Yes, some of us are still keeping the spirit alive

I pretty much grew up on the street and had a lot of fun. But it's nothing like some of my friends and relatives say NYC was like in the 70's and 80's.

November 4, 2011

Yes, some of us are still keeping the spirit alive

I pretty much grew up on the street and had a lot of fun. But it's nothing like some of my friends and relatives say NYC was like in the 70's and 80's.

That New York died after 9/11. I was lucky enough to experience the last days of it.

November 4, 2011

I used to live in a run down house flop house in the lower east side back in the 90s that was crawling with some of the strangest people you could meet but it was also one of the funnest times in my life. I found those people much more likable than the yuppies that inhabit the city today. At least they were real.

Yep. I think this is what frustrates me most about women in this city. They are dying to hang out and be around these lame boring yuppies, but don't realize all the laughs, decent people, and memories they're missing out on. Well they do make memories I suppose, but I doubt sniffing cocaine off Gordon Geckos cock is something they'll look back on with much endearment.

November 4, 2011

So do all the guys here who live in NYC and talk about how problematic it is, have an attitude problem too? I mean, even the people who aren't that critical of this city and it's inhabitants, don't necessarily say anything good about the women either. Girls here are snobs who think they're God's gift to men. They look down on blue collar guys like me, even if they come from such a family themselves. Is it impossible for women to ever be accountable for anything?

When you get to NYC, you become a mini-celebrity...just for being a woman.

And are all those women who live in NYC who don't date celebrities or hedge fund managers snobs and no-good wastes of oxygen? In all my time in NYC, I never dated Wall Street people (except for that one date, so sue me) or actors. Just ordinary guys, including blue collar guys. I DO prefer educated men, but that has nothing to do with money: I will much sooner date a poor graduate student than someone who is living off a trust fund. I prefer educated men over blue collar men because I have more in common with the former group, that's all. Most ordinary guys, including blue collar ones that I've known over the years had no problem dating, having relationships and sometimes getting married and settling down. But those that didn't -- yeah, I'd say they had a problem with attitude, and that was the cause of their intractable singlehood. So no, it's not like all ordinary guys have an attitude problem; rather, the small minority of ordinary guys who can't seem to get a date in this city have an attitude problem.

Wolf is right, the women are all stuck up there. They are all uppity and think their sh*t doesn't stink. I would hate being a man trying to date in NYC.

Of course you'd say that: you are from Upstate. I know you, guys.

November 4, 2011

And are all those women who live in NYC who don't date celebrities or hedge fund managers snobs and no-good wastes of oxygen? In all my time in NYC, I never dated Wall Street people (except for that one date, so sue me) or actors. Just ordinary guys, including blue collar guys. I DO prefer educated men, but that has nothing to do with money: I will much sooner date a poor graduate student than someone who is living off a trust fund. I prefer educated men over blue collar men because I have more in common with the former group, that's all. Most ordinary guys, including blue collar ones that I've known over the years had no problem dating, having relationships and sometimes getting married and settling down. But those that didn't -- yeah, I'd say they had a problem with attitude, and that was the cause of their intractable singlehood. So no, it's not like all ordinary guys have an attitude problem; rather, the small minority of ordinary guys who can't seem to get a date in this city have an attitude problem.

Of course you'd say that: you are from Upstate. I know you, guys.

Hahahaha ok if you say so:laugh:

November 4, 2011

The title says it all. I am graduating college in December and working in NYC while living back home with my family in NJ. I only keep in touch with a few people from high school. I go to state college in Illinois so it's 100% my fault for not really keeping in touch. 95% of the students here are in state and they all want to work in Chicago so there's a good chance I won't ever see them again on a daily basis which is a very sad thought for me.

It's been three months since my gf of 2 years broke up with me. There was no wrongdoing on either end. She just wanted to really focus on her career and felt like I was immature because I didn't know what she was going through b/c I was still in school. She's one year older than me. I thought it was a great relationship. We had our trivial arguments but everything was smooth. I still want a second chance with her but I know I'm not going to get it so I've been trying hard to move on. I've been NC for 1 month after breaking NC to ask for a couple of things back. I was 3 weeks NC before asking for my stuff. I've been meeting some new people through club meetings but haven't been on any "dates".

I'm just scared I won't find meet anyone that is as good as her. Her personality was great and she was really pretty. I'm a 6.5/10 looks wise and she was probably a 7.75/10. I've read some pretty bad things about NYC dating and NYC women in general. My close guy friend talks about it too back home so it's not just nonsense on an internet board.

I'll be working 60 hour weeks for a big 4 accounting firm so I'll actually have a steady paycheck. I love football and working out. I also love volunteering. I don't mind going out to bars/clubs once in a while but I feel like that's not the best place to meet girls. I'm not really the casual sex type of guy and I definitely prefer long term relationships and would prefer to find a girl that is the same. I am going to volunteer on my free time if I have any.

Do you guys have any advice for establishing yourself in a new city? Even though I have my family it feels like I'm moving to a new city and have to make a new social circle/new friends. I'm definitely going to say "yes" to any work related social function. What have you guys done to smooth the moving to a big city transition?

Is the dating in NYC really that bad? Are the women as pretentious and materialistic as people say? What kind of rude awakening am I in for?

Thank you LS family!!

Everyone on LS knows my opinion on this subject, except you. Now you're coming to NYC in hopes of finding a SO, correct?

Your best bet is to make as many friends as possible. In other words, get with the in-crowds if you expect at least some mild success.

NYC women won't give you a chance if you're by yourself so don't waste time idling about. Do the volunteer works. You'll meet some Plain Janes if that's your cup of tea to taste.

The hot women are only in the clubs. That's a fact. You won't get a shot with them unless you have good game and some buddies with you since it is going to be rare to find a lovely-looking babe by herself. They always do the wolf-pack travels in this city. They need that security blanket.

Check out the Meet-ups. That's a place to get some socializing going. I've been to a few. They're not for me but you might do okay. Give it a chance or you'll never know.

No cold approaches! I repeat, no cold approaches in this city. There has been a rash of sexual attacks on women here lately; almost like some kind of open season on certain women, so steer clear of even approaching her out of the blue. You will get avoided and become frustrated with the lack of success on that. The cold approaches make them uncomfortable in this day and age.

Libraries are also an option, but you still need some game for that to work. Barnes and Noble frequents a lot of young women, because some of them have coffee shops. They're a little more approachable in there if you know a little something about books.

Go in with the don't give a **** attitude if you want, and it won't make a difference what happens. The less you care about what she thinks of you, the better it'll be for your sanity.

It'll be less pressure on you as well as her if you keep this in mind. Please keep us informed of how you do. Welcome and good luck.

November 4, 2011

And are all those women who live in NYC who don't date celebrities or hedge fund managers snobs and no-good wastes of oxygen? In all my time in NYC, I never dated Wall Street people (except for that one date, so sue me) or actors. Just ordinary guys, including blue collar guys. I DO prefer educated men, but that has nothing to do with money: I will much sooner date a poor graduate student than someone who is living off a trust fund. I prefer educated men over blue collar men because I have more in common with the former group, that's all. Most ordinary guys, including blue collar ones that I've known over the years had no problem dating, having relationships and sometimes getting married and settling down. But those that didn't -- yeah, I'd say they had a problem with attitude, and that was the cause of their intractable singlehood. So no, it's not like all ordinary guys have an attitude problem; rather, the small minority of ordinary guys who can't seem to get a date in this city have an attitude problem.
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There's very little variation in the type of man women here go for. If it's not the rich guys or model men, it's some equally worthless concept of a man like guido's, wiggers, or hipsters.

No cold approaches! I repeat, no cold approaches in this city. There has been a rash of sexual attacks on women here lately; almost like some kind of open season on certain women, so steer clear of even approaching her out of the blue. You will get avoided and become frustrated with the lack of success on that. The cold approaches make them uncomfortable in this day and age.
[/Quote]

I don't know man, the vast majority of "sex attacks" are really just some guy groping a woman or exposing himself to them . It would be better if it didn't happen, but to say these are sexual assaults like they do is pretty misleading, especially considering the type of sexual activity modern women partake in.

Just last week I was being a smart ass to a female cop for a few laughs, she made me get out of my friends car, put me in handcuffs, and pinched my ass harder than you can imagine Should I sue the NYPD for sexual assault ? She let me off with a warning but I feel so violated omg...

November 4, 2011

There's very little variation in the type of man women here go for. If it's not the rich guys or model men, it's some equally worthless concept of a man like guido's, wiggers, or hipsters.

In your circle, perhaps. But not in MY circle.

I don't know man, the vast majority of "sex attacks" are really just some guy groping a woman or exposing himself to them . It would be better if it didn't happen, but to say these are sexual assaults like they do is pretty misleading, especially considering the type of sexual activity modern women partake in.

Touching someone sexually without their consent is sexual assault. Touching a person sexually without consent is sexual assault regardless of whether or not she is a virgin, how may consensual partners she's had, and what type of consensual sexual acts she's engaged in. Consenting to sex with one guy isn't tantamount to consent to being groped by another, and your statements about this are disgusting.

Just last week I was being a smart ass to a female cop for a few laughs, she made me get out of my friends car, put me in handcuffs, and pinched my ass harder than you can imagine Should I sue the NYPD for sexual assault ? She let me off with a warning but I feel so violated omg...

Yes, this is actionable sexual assault. It's just as bad if a woman does it to a man as when a man does it to a woman.

November 4, 2011

By the way, Wolf18, earlier we mentioned problematic attitude. Most men don't think it's okay to grope a woman just because she "probably" had sex with a dozen guys before. However, when a guy casually mentions that sexual assault is no big deal given how "loose" NYC women are, what it really says to me is: "This is a guy who may rape me." And then I would put very, very big distance between him and myself. You claim that women who won't date you just don't understand what they are missing. Right now, it looks like what they are missing is sexual abuse, maybe worse.

Perhaps I'm getting the wrong impression here -- I'm open to that possibility. But that's an impression you create with your statements, and it's one that the majority of women find very, very alarming and problematic. The fact that you are not a Wall Street guy with lots of money is a far lesser problem than this.

So again, if you want dates, adjust your attitude. No one says you should be a spineless doormat. But you could do with just a little kindness and compassion, you know? Just a little bit.

November 4, 2011

In your circle, perhaps. But not in MY circle.
[/Quote]

LOL what special circle is this? You realize everyone thinks they're unique, right?

Touching someone sexually without their consent is sexual assault. Touching a person sexually without consent is sexual assault regardless of whether or not she is a virgin, how may consensual partners she's had, and what type of consensual sexual acts she's engaged in. Consenting to sex with one guy isn't tantamount to consent to being groped by another, and your statements about this are disgusting.
[/Quote]

I don't understand the outrage, it's pure semantics. It's not ideal, but a girl getting her bum slapped is nothing traumatizing or worthy of being called a sexual assault, it cheapens when people are actually victims of rape. The logic behind laws that forbade these practices was that women were not sexual objects , but considering the fact that the average woman loses her virginity at 14-15 and have one night stands like its nothing, I think it's laughable to think this is so serious.

Yes, this is actionable sexual assault. It's just as bad if a woman does it to a man as when a man does it to a woman. [/Quote]

First of all, I didn't mind, she was MILFy!

Second, if I ever tried this as a man, I'd be laughed out of court. By both men and women.

November 4, 2011

Wow thanks for the advice everyone! Reading these posts actually makes me miss what I had what I had with the ex... but what is in the past is in the past.

Would girls in NYC would give me a chance? If so, what kind?

Some "quantifiable" stats about me:

- 22 years old

- 6.5/10 looks wise (10 is Cristiano Ronaldo; 5 is average)

- 5'11; 160 pounds; athletic and fit; not muscular like the "situation"

- Working for Big 4 accounting firm. In Chicago, public accounting is a respected profession because there are not many traders/investment bankers but my friends have said that it is looked down upon in NYC because of all the traders/bankers/management consultants.

- $62k pre-tax first year salary (I know, it's so low)

- Not socially awkward, can keep a conversation, not afraid to day approach women but getting numbers during a day approach at a grocery store is challenging for me

Would women in NYC want to date that? Besides money (which I won't have a lot of until years 5,6 into the workforce), what else can I do to attract NYC women?

Thank you LSers!!

November 4, 2011

Here is what I don't understand: average-looking men complaining about there being no one to date due to beautiful women being too demanding. Here is a thought: If you are an average-looking man, why don't you look for an average-looking woman? Or better yet -- since you think beautiful women should date below their level of attractiveness -- why don't you date an unattractive woman? If the thought of dating an ugly woman leaves you cold, that should give you an answer as to why beautiful women's standards are so "high". What's good for the goose is good for the gander; don't expect the opposite sex to have expectations any lower than yours.

I don't know of this was directed to me or others. However, I will answer for myself at least. It is not about being average and wanting a hot girl. While I may be considered above average by some, I know there are hotter than me out there. A quick run down, I am graduate educated, over 6' tall, and fairly fit'/muscular. As I am finishing up my training, my hours are a bit long, but still manageable. The women I usually date are usually graduate educated, size 6-10, and pretty equal to me. However, in the land of multi-dating and millionaires, this often means that I am strung along as a great backup option to many women looking for the best deal. I also get size 14+ girls (generally without grad degrees) clamoring to talk to the 6' tall doctor. I have little interest in them or in the model chicks. My current gf is not a model, but she is as I described above. I know a sister of a friend of mine who is 24 yo, in grad school, cute but not a model. She would date a guy like me and be happy. However, she dates a trust fund baby who works in finance. He breaks up with her every six months (4 times now) to travel or have fun without her (as she is busy in school). Why? Because he knows she is replaceable and he is less so. Yet, she will never let herself get serious with another guy and dumps whoever she is dating when he wants her back. Why? Because he can afford to wine and dine her the way daddy (the doctor) used to and these poor middle class guys trying to get a career going cannot. It is sad. I know plenty of women like this with apartments in manhattan and brooklyn (with the help of mommy and daddy) trying to live the SATC 'lifestyle'. Mostly out of town of suburban girls.

November 4, 2011

LOL what special circle is this? You realize everyone thinks they're unique, right?

I don't think I am unique -- that's why it's a circle. However, it's a circle of people who aren't into clubbing and bars, that's for sure.

I don't understand the outrage, it's pure semantics. It's not ideal, but a girl getting her bum slapped is nothing traumatizing or worthy of being called a sexual assault, it cheapens when people are actually victims of rape. The logic behind laws that forbade these practices was that women were not sexual objects , but considering the fact that the average woman loses her virginity at 14-15 and have one night stands like its nothing, I think it's laughable to think this is so serious.

No outrage, just pointing out that you don't seem to be understanding the concept of boundaries. Getting my bum or my boob squeezed by a stranger is just as offensive now that I am no longer a virgin as when I was one. The logic behind these laws isn't that women "are not sexual objects", but that women are people who are entitled to bodily autonomy regardless of what they choose to do with their own bodies. Do you not understand that? You claim that criminalizing groping "cheapens" rape, but can't your views also be applied to rape? If an average woman loses her virginity at 14-15, isn't it then a justification in your eyes to rape her when she's 25? Hey, it's not like she hasn't had a dick in there lots of times before, so anybody is welcome, regardless of whether she wants to or not. Right? Isn't it what you are saying?

First of all, I didn't mind, she was MILFy!

Second, if I ever tried this as a man, I'd be laughed out of court. By both men and women.

Well, I'm a woman, and I didn't laugh, did I? Sexual assault against men IS taken less seriously than that against women, and I think that's terrible. To a large extent, however, the problem is caused by people like you, who trivialize sexual assault as something the victim should just enjoy.

November 4, 2011

I don't know of this was directed to me or others. However, I will answer for myself at least. It is not about being average and wanting a hot girl. While I may be considered above average by some, I know there are hotter than me out there. A quick run down, I am graduate educated, over 6' tall, and fairly fit'/muscular. As I am finishing up my training, my hours are a bit long, but still manageable. The women I usually date are usually graduate educated, size 6-10, and pretty equal to me. However, in the land of multi-dating and millionaires, this often means that I am strung along as a great backup option to many women looking for the best deal. I also get size 14+ girls (generally without grad degrees) clamoring to talk to the 6' tall doctor. I have little interest in them or in the model chicks. My current gf is not a model, but she is as I described above. I know a sister of a friend of mine who is 24 yo, in grad school, cute but not a model. She would date a guy like me and be happy. However, she dates a trust fund baby who works in finance. He breaks up with her every six months (4 times now) to travel or have fun without her (as she is busy in school). Why? Because he knows she is replaceable and he is less so. Yet, she will never let herself get serious with another guy and dumps whoever she is dating when he wants her back. Why? Because he can afford to wine and dine her the way daddy (the doctor) used to and these poor middle class guys trying to get a career going cannot. It is sad. I know plenty of women like this with apartments in manhattan and brooklyn (with the help of mommy and daddy) trying to live the SATC 'lifestyle'. Mostly out of town of suburban girls.

Thank you, this has been my same exact experience too.

I don't think I am unique -- that's why it's a circle. However, it's a circle of people who aren't into clubbing and bars, that's for sure.
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Neither am I, but it's the only place I know of that has women.

No outrage, just pointing out that you don't seem to be understanding the concept of boundaries. Getting my bum or my boob squeezed by a stranger is just as offensive now that I am no longer a virgin as when I was one. The logic behind these laws isn't that women "are not sexual objects", but that women are people who are entitled to bodily autonomy regardless of what they choose to do with their own bodies. Do you not understand that? You claim that criminalizing groping "cheapens" rape, but can't your views also be applied to rape? If an average woman loses her virginity at 14-15, isn't it then a justification in your eyes to rape her when she's 25? Hey, it's not like she hasn't had a dick in there lots of times before, so anybody is welcome, regardless of whether she wants to or not. Right? Isn't it what you are saying?
[/Quote]

Apples and oranges.

Well, I'm a woman, and I didn't laugh, did I? Sexual assault against men IS taken less seriously than that against women, and I think that's terrible. To a large extent, however, the problem is caused by people like you, who trivialize sexual assault as something the victim should just enjoy. [/Quote]

If a guy you thought was hot touched your ass you probably at worst feign outrage and secretly like it, or at best giggle about it.

It's only sexual assault if the perpatraitor is ugly.

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Moving to NYC in December...need dating and getting used to new city insight

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