lulu23 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Hi. So, I dated a guy about a year ago for about a month. I fell head over heals despite the short time frame. Unfortunately, I was only where he was for a summer internship, and at the end of the summer I had to leave back for home. I desperately wanted the relationship to continue, I would have considered moving to be with him even. But it's not what he wanted and he felt we should just remain friends. For a while we stayed in touch via email. And then I did some, admittedly, stereotypical crazy girl nonsense. For example, I sent him a gift for christmas (a bottle of his favorite, somewhat expensive, wine)...and sent him an elaborate home made card explaining all my feelings for him. Etc. Yadda yadda. I scared him off. He stopped keeping in touch. Totally my fault but anyway... It has been hard because I have been fighting off these feelings of being "not worth it" and wondering why he didn't feel the same way about me as I felt about him. But it has been a while and I have been finally accepting the fact that it was just way too complicated and too much of a commitment for two people who only dated for a short amount of time and I shouldn't take it so personally. It has been probably 8 or 9 months since I have made any contact with him. I check his facebook every few days (I know, so lame) and out of the blue today I realized that he removed me from facebook. I know it sounds SO silly. I mean, a facebook friendship is pretty darn trivial. But I think BECAUSE it is so trivial, it hurts even more. I mean, I'm not even worth a darn facebook friendship? Part of me wonders/hopes that maybe it was an accident, or a facebook glitch. But I'm not going to ask, so there is no way for me to know and so I have to assume that he really just didn't want to be friends on facebook. But why? I mean, I only ever tried to tell him how amazing I thought he was and how much he meant to me. Granted, I went over the top in professing my feelings to him, but I didn't think that would make him think badly of me. And why now after all this time? It's not like I have still been bothering him. I haven't said a word to him in over 8 months! It just really hurt my feelings and sort of re-opened some old wounds I had. I so wanted to mean something to him. And turns out I meant absolutely nothing. Thanks for listening to my ramblings.
Shaun-Dro Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Hi. So, I dated a guy about a year ago for about a month. I fell head over heals despite the short time frame. Unfortunately, I was only where he was for a summer internship, and at the end of the summer I had to leave back for home. I desperately wanted the relationship to continue, I would have considered moving to be with him even. But it's not what he wanted and he felt we should just remain friends. For a while we stayed in touch via email. And then I did some, admittedly, stereotypical crazy girl nonsense. For example, I sent him a gift for christmas (a bottle of his favorite, somewhat expensive, wine)...and sent him an elaborate home made card explaining all my feelings for him. Etc. Yadda yadda. I scared him off. He stopped keeping in touch. Totally my fault but anyway... It has been hard because I have been fighting off these feelings of being "not worth it" and wondering why he didn't feel the same way about me as I felt about him. But it has been a while and I have been finally accepting the fact that it was just way too complicated and too much of a commitment for two people who only dated for a short amount of time and I shouldn't take it so personally. It has been probably 8 or 9 months since I have made any contact with him. I check his facebook every few days (I know, so lame) and out of the blue today I realized that he removed me from facebook. I know it sounds SO silly. I mean, a facebook friendship is pretty darn trivial. But I think BECAUSE it is so trivial, it hurts even more. I mean, I'm not even worth a darn facebook friendship? Part of me wonders/hopes that maybe it was an accident, or a facebook glitch. But I'm not going to ask, so there is no way for me to know and so I have to assume that he really just didn't want to be friends on facebook. But why? I mean, I only ever tried to tell him how amazing I thought he was and how much he meant to me. Granted, I went over the top in professing my feelings to him, but I didn't think that would make him think badly of me. And why now after all this time? It's not like I have still been bothering him. I haven't said a word to him in over 8 months! It just really hurt my feelings and sort of re-opened some old wounds I had. I so wanted to mean something to him. And turns out I meant absolutely nothing. Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Stop your whining and move on. Next time, don't pick a guy who doesn't show any signs of a commitment to you. Relationships are supposed to be on equal footing: give and take at even grounds. Live and learn.
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