Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 8, 2011 Author Posted November 8, 2011 ETA: Hey, he's a director for tutoring low income kids? That's funny --- that's part of what I do. But bad news. . . I'd never go out with any of our volunteers (and certainly not the hired tutors). In this field, there's sometimes not a lot of wiggle room, assuming he's a salaried employee. It's basically forbidden in my contract. Not sure who he works for, but my foundation would fire me immediately. Yeah, this is my concern. I'm not sure yet if he's a paid or volunteer director, or if the organization has restrictions against this kind of thing. Time will tell. Many men love women with a nice, tall pair of legs:love: Yes, they do. So strut them bad boys and go get 'em Ruby:love: Remember, fate favors the bold:cool: You are so right. Another :love: for RS, because she's one of my favorite LS women. :love: Right back atcha, gorgeous.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 11, 2011 Author Posted November 11, 2011 Hmmm, well, he was nice today, but I didn't feel like he was flirting really. But I kept catching this other cute volunteer staring at me. It was a busy day with a lot going on. And my crush seemed shyer than usual today. So I don't know. But a very good-looking guy who was kind of thuggish asked me out on the way home.
Pierre Posted November 12, 2011 Posted November 12, 2011 Hmmm, well, he was nice today, but I didn't feel like he was flirting really. But I kept catching this other cute volunteer staring at me. It was a busy day with a lot going on. And my crush seemed shyer than usual today. So I don't know. But a very good-looking guy who was kind of thuggish asked me out on the way home. Some men need a lot of hints to ask a woman out. In my case whenever I asked for a date I knew I would have success because of the flirting. You need to keep up the flirting. Are you sure you know how to flirt?
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 13, 2011 Author Posted November 13, 2011 Some men need a lot of hints to ask a woman out. In my case whenever I asked for a date I knew I would have success because of the flirting. You need to keep up the flirting. Are you sure you know how to flirt? Yeah, I know how to flirt. And I flirt with him every time I see him. He flirts with me, too. But for it to go any further, he's going to have to ask me out. It's OK either way. Even if it's just flirting, that alone gives me a kick of energy that is healthy and fun.
blueskyday Posted November 13, 2011 Posted November 13, 2011 At this point, start up a conversation with him. After a few minutes, tell him you love talking to him and would like to continue the conversation outside of your volunteer place....Then offer up something you were already thinking of doing, as in, "I'm going on a hike this weekend. Want to join me?" Or invite him to join you for a drink after work. Tell him you are dying to try out a new spot and planned on going one day the next week. Does he want to join you? Then I would smile, and let him take the bait... I'm a pretty good flirt. I've worked the boob press during a hug before. I usually say something cheesy to throw them off, like "Wow, I could feel your heart beat." The trick is to make it innocent. Sexy, yet innocent....
JamesTrump Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 is he single? flirting is easy, just ask him out
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 He e-mailed some info about the upcoming holiday shindig, requesting a response on one point, and I wrote him back a kinda flirty e-mail with some definite innuendo. And he TOTALLY flirted in his e-mail back! I even read it to a friend, and she totally agrees. OMG, when is he going to ask me OUT?!
tigressA Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 He e-mailed some info about the upcoming holiday shindig, requesting a response on one point, and I wrote him back a kinda flirty e-mail with some definite innuendo. And he TOTALLY flirted in his e-mail back! I even read it to a friend, and she totally agrees. OMG, when is he going to ask me OUT?! Ask HIM that question!
Pierre Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 Ruby: Do not ask him out. Keep up the flirting until he has no choice, but to ask you out. Another alternative is that the flirting may lead to a bit of necking at the work place. Is there a storage room?
Pierre Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 The boob press is a good technique. Don't give up on that.
tigressA Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 The boob press is a good technique. Don't give up on that. I agree...I didn't know how much some guys like this. BF absolutely loves it. Just 'accidentally' brush up against him and give him a shy/innocent smile.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 Ruby: Do not ask him out. Keep up the flirting until he has no choice, but to ask you out. Yep, this is what I'm going to do. I have a feeling this is gonna be a slooow burn. Then if we ever do get together, there will be all this pent-up intensity. Another alternative is that the flirting may lead to a bit of necking at the work place. Is there a storage room? We are both professional, and we're not going to sneak away to make out when there are kids everywhere!
khele2k Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 The fact that he asked you what you were doing over the week-end is an excellent sign that he could be interested. Is he on the quiet side? Possibly he was hoping that you would ask him out. One thing for sure, if you're going to ask him out, don't make it that big of a deal. Ask him out for a drink or to lunch for the first time you guys go out. Don't make it a big deal and especially don't make it a crazy elaborate date. If you guys are hitting it off it will happen just by spending time together when you're not in a director/volunteer scenario.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 16, 2011 Posted November 16, 2011 The boob press is a good technique. Don't give up on that. No, no, no NO boob press!
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 16, 2011 Author Posted November 16, 2011 One thing for sure, if you're going to ask him out, don't make it that big of a deal. Ask him out for a drink or to lunch for the first time you guys go out. Don't make it a big deal and especially don't make it a crazy elaborate date. If you guys are hitting it off it will happen just by spending time together when you're not in a director/volunteer scenario. I will not ask him out. But yes, I'm hoping there will be some social event that arises out of this -- maybe with a group of volunteers at first. Then he will sit next to me, we will hit it off, and he'll have his in to ask me out.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 I got a card from him in the mail today! The return address was that of the organization, but he hand-wrote and signed a nice, long, personal message of thanks for volunteering with them. (I really hope he doesn't see this thread, or I am so busted. )
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 ..... and I wrote him back a kinda flirty e-mail with some definite innuendo. And he TOTALLY flirted in his e-mail back! I even read it to a friend, and she totally agrees. OMG, when is he going to ask me OUT?! Ruby, totally share that email flirtation. I hope it works out for you!
Feelsgoodman Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 I say just try to let your interest be known through body language and through subtle hints like complimenting him back. Above all though, smile! The indirect approach might not work. So many women are attention wh0res...I mean "serial flirts" these days...Whenever I get a flirty vibe form a woman, I just assume she's fishing for attention and pay no attention (what else are you supposed to do, really?) Being direct works better with men...why not just ask him out for a drink? That way, he wouldn't have to be guessing what you're up to.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Ruby: Do not ask him out. Keep up the flirting until he has no choice, but to ask you out. Another alternative is that the flirting may lead to a bit of necking at the work place. Is there a storage room? Totally wrong advice IMO. Aside from the "attention whoring" issue I talked about above, men nowadays are scared sh*tless of false sexual harassment allegations (and for a good reason). This is especially true of men working in professional fields. Making the first move on a woman you work with is a big no-no, even if it's volunteering rather than a real job.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 20, 2011 Author Posted November 20, 2011 Well, I just need to get to know him better. And I will. At this point, for all I know he has a girlfriend, will never date a volunteer there, etc. What's important here is that doing new things I love to do gets me meeting cool new people. And this is good for me! So I'm gonna keep doing it.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 26, 2011 Author Posted November 26, 2011 I talked to my counselor the other day, and her advice was to ask him out. She said given his supervisory position, it might be against the rules for him to ask me out -- but he could be open to being asked out. She said I could do it in a casual way, like inviting him out for coffee sometime. She recommended that I consider the idea of asking men out in general, something I have NEVER done before. But I'm going to have to talk to some of my female friends who I know have asked guys out before I actually do it. I have basically no idea how to do it without being awkward and giggly.
ptp Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 oooooohhhhhhhh so when your counselor suggests it, now you are going to think about it, but when I suggested the same thing weeks ago you didn't even consider it. Hmm.... I am starting to see where I stand with you... One time a girl asked me out to happy hour. It was great, she was already going to go out with her friends regardless if I was there or not. It was low pressure, the bar wasn't packed so we could talk without screaming and we were playing pool so we had an activity to do and I got to interact with some her friends. Since I didn't really know anybody besides her, I was attached to her and thus she was able to pay appropriate attention to me. So maybe ask him out to an activity both of you enjoy. Good luck Rubs:)
Author Ruby Slippers Posted November 26, 2011 Author Posted November 26, 2011 oooooohhhhhhhh so when your counselor suggests it, now you are going to think about it, but when I suggested the same thing weeks ago you didn't even consider it. Hmm.... I am starting to see where I stand with you... No, I thought about it before, believe me. But with her, I can talk about all my silly fears and insecurities. I already told her that I think a lot of guys would say yes just because they didn't have anything else going on, not necessarily because they really like the girl. Whereas if he approaches you, you know he's definitely attracted and interested -- or at least, it seems to me that the likelihood is greater. I'm sure I'll think of a dozen other reservations I need to run by her and have her counter before I actually ask a guy out! This is something I've been thinking about for months -- but obviously, I have many reservations about it. So maybe ask him out to an activity both of you enjoy. Good luck Rubs:) Good idea. Right now, I just can't even imagine myself saying the words to him. It seems very unknown and scary. If he said no, I might start crying. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's how I feel.
alphamale Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 you should have been born with the manual in your head
ptp Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Good idea. Right now, I just can't even imagine myself saying the words to him. It seems very unknown and scary. If he said no, I might start crying. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's how I feel. Now you are getting a little taste of what it is like to be a guy who wants to ask you out. It isn't so easy and rather intimidating isn't it? I find it interesting how expressing affection for another human being surfaces all of one's insecurities. So I get you weary of asking this guy out, but it doesn't have to so overt as you are making it out to be. In my previous post, the girl asked me out subtlety. She waited until I asked her what her plans for the weekend were. Her: "Not much blah blah blah....,but I am going to happy hour on Friday, if you are free you should stop by" Me: "For sure, sounds like a lot of fun" If I wasn't interested I would have said I already have plans or I was busy at that time. It wasn't like she said "would you like to have dinner with me" and I said no. Maybe that type of approach would work better for you? When I am in a similar position as you, I just tell my self: life is too short not to take a chance on meeting a great woman. This guy sounds great for you.
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