robaday Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 So, this has happened to me a few times. You are dating a woman, and you get into an argument. Shes screaming, shouting etc. The minute I raise my voice in return, she starts crying. Then I am the one feeling guilty. Now I know obviously you should never hit a woman. And while I do try and avoid arguments, say something humerous etc, sometimes I really have to argue back. What are the rules? I dont want to be made out to be some abusive jerk for defending myself, but Im not really sure what the solution is?
Lilmisus Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 There's nothing wrong with defending yourself in an argument, but trying to defuse the situation if your capable of doing so is often times your best bet. Whether it's letting her get her screaming and cursing out of the way and trying to keep your voice level throughout the argument, or just walking away. But if all you do as soon as she starts shouting at you, is yelling at the top of your voice, no matter what the argument, I guarantee that it's probably going to shock her if she's never heard you yell before.
ChessPieceFace Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 If you're getting into a screaming argument on a date, imagine how much worse it will be when you are tied down to her. A screaming argument on a date would be the end of the relationship for me, unless it was a really weird, isolated incident with some kind of excuse. Girls have brushed me off for far less than that. Show some self-respect.
rightfield Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Introduce alcohol into the situation. This will relax your both and put you in a more jovial mood. Alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
sugarmomma Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 How about just telling her not to yell at you? And if she continues that just shows that she's a disrespectful person. I wish somebody I'm dating would yell at me. That is definitely a no no.
grkBoy Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 So, this has happened to me a few times. You are dating a woman, and you get into an argument. Shes screaming, shouting etc. The minute I raise my voice in return, she starts crying. Then I am the one feeling guilty. Now I know obviously you should never hit a woman. And while I do try and avoid arguments, say something humerous etc, sometimes I really have to argue back. What are the rules? I dont want to be made out to be some abusive jerk for defending myself, but Im not really sure what the solution is? If you're right, stand your ground. Even if she breaks up with you. I'm serious. If she's being irrational and using emotion to overpower you then you stand your ground. If you're wrong, admit to it. If you're right, then stand your ground and show her you're not a pushover. If she dumps you, let her go. Imagine being married to that and be happy she left.
xxoo Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 So, this has happened to me a few times. You are dating a woman, and you get into an argument. Shes screaming, shouting etc. When a person starts screaming at you, remove yourself from the situation. Say something like "You are screaming. I'm going to leave now. I'll discuss this with you when you are calmer." And then leave. If it turns out that she can not have a disagreement without screaming and shouting, that is good information to know. The screaming stuff sounds like immaturity. That's what adolescents do. Grown ups need to exercise more self control.
KathyM Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 A person should set boundaries with people on how they want to be spoken to. If a person is yelling at you, you should calmly tell them that you don't want to be yelled at, it doesn't help to resolve anything. And then if they continue, you should leave (i.e., step outside, go to another room, etc.), and tell them you will be willing to discuss this when she has calmed down. To go into your own yelling hissy fit is not helpful to the situation, and only makes it worse.
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