Kobefied27 Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 So my ex and i have been apart for about a month. We got too serious too fast and we know each other like the back of our hands within that 5 month span. I know her too well, I know when something is bothering her by just her nonverbal cues, I know what she likes and I know what she needs. I did everything for this woman and she's always been my dreamgirl. I've wanted her for so long and I actually got her...everything we did was so perfect and i think it was too perfect. We never argued and that was a sign. She my family too fast and things got pretty serious. Now because she feels she needs her freedom and she doesnt want to feel like she's checking in. But we were still acting like we've been together when we are alone like holding each other and kissing each other etc. But every time its bitter sweet almost like an emotional rollercoaster. Since we've broken up I feel we've gotten closer with each other spiritually and we're a lot more open with each other now, something I felt was missing when we were together. Not to mention that I've gotten so strong from the time apart and really got to know myself to the point to where this relationship isnt the end of the world. I just feel she's the one for me. Well last monday we were hanging out all day together just in her room sleeping watching tv and being a couple, we'd kiss goodbye and it felt like things were slowly getting back together. Now she asked if it was okay if we dated other people and I said how can I say no when we arent together, but I'll be really hurt especially if she hooked up with a guy. Well the next night she calls me to see how I am doing because my Grandma is gonna have surgery and I'm not taking it too well and she's been nothing but supportive. I asked her what she's doing tonight and she tells me she's gonna go to a bar with an old friend from out of town...ffor some reason my alerts went up and I had this bad feeling about this...Well I was right, and I confronted her and asked her and she said she didnt want to talk about it and I said if you want me to move on then I need to know. She told me they did and I was pretty devastated...and she tells me that it meant nothing. She was actually grossed out, but she was drunk. Then she tells me that in one hand there's this perfect guy in me, and the other hand there's everyone else and I asked her what she wanted....she said she wants us to get back together but she feels if we did it would be for keeps and she's not ready for that. She doesnt know how to commit and she always closes up. So I broke it down to her and told her everything that was on my mind because I felt I couldnt live like this. I told her I loved her and even though she kissed that guy and I am so hurt for some reason my feelings for her are still the same. Then after the talks things felt better, but I tried not to get into that emotional rollercoaster again so she asked me to lay down in her bed and hold her...I wanted to so bad but I told her if I did lay there in her bed I feel like its going to be this over and over again...she'll feel comfortable again and then the next day she'll pretend like it wont happen. I'd be doing that emotional rollercoaster again. She is so confused with herself and what she wants and it frustrates me. She is the nicest person you'll ever meet and she is so considerate. But why do I feel like all she told me is bullsh*t...she always told me that she thinks we'll end up together but just not right now. I feel the same way, but you know I need to move on and so I decided not to go through that emotional rollercoaster again and not call her for awhile. If she's confused and she needs her freedom then I'll give it to her not to mention I'm really hurt with her date the night prior. Its like I love her so much and i also want to move on because if its meant to be then we'll end up later on....I think that time apart and not talking to each other will be the biggest gamble of my life but I'm willing to take the consequences because I've told her everything that I needed to tell her and I have nothing more to say....So time heal all wounds then let time do its thing. My question to you guys is, do you think she's confused and do why do I feel mad at her when we werent even together....why do I feel like I've been cheated on?....I'm strong and confident I'll get through this but man this hurts a lot. What should I do?
shellgranado Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 YOUR MAD BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER AND YOUR READY FOR THAT COMMITMENT BUT SHES VERY CONFUSED ID TELL HER TO BE ON HER WAY UNTIL SHE FIGURES OUT WHAT SHE WANTS THAT YOU CANT TAKE THE PAIN NO MORE THAT EVERYONE SHOULD BE HAPPY AND NOT CAUSING PAIN ON THE OTHER PERSON YOU HAVE HEARD OF THAT SAYING IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING SET IT FREE IF IT COMES BACK IT WAS YOURS IF IT DOESNT IT NEVER WAS HANG IN THERE IT WILL ALL WORK OUT FOR THE BEST
Author Kobefied27 Posted May 21, 2004 Author Posted May 21, 2004 What you say I believed when we first broke up and it was easy to understand that, but I started not to believe that because things got better with us. Well should I not talk to her or what?....i mean its hard to realize that but it's true. As a matter of fact I had the best sleep for the first time last night. I mean she knows how difficult it is for me but do you think I should still talk to her...I think I shouldnt but could that be a mistake? The thing is about me is I dont know if could go back with her because all I could think about is all these guys that she probably dated. I love her but I'm so hurt from that and now all I think is she's gonna keep doing that and maybe she wont but I still think it.
tx_ex Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 Originally posted by Kobefied27 The thing is about me is I dont know if could go back with her because all I could think about is all these guys that she probably dated. I love her but I'm so hurt from that and now all I think is she's gonna keep doing that and maybe she wont but I still think it. I worry about the same things. But it's unfair for you to put that on her alone. Have you dated other people before? If so, you probably didn't hold it against them for dating other people. Try not to think about decisions like that now -- save those for when you are presented the option.
Kobefied27 II Posted May 22, 2004 Posted May 22, 2004 So I'm kobefied27, I just cant seem to post a reply under that name. But any ways, as time goes on I feel like everything she's told me about how she's confused and how she needs her freedom is all a lie. I honestly think it was all about her missing the dating scene. I think she never loved me and she never genuinely cared for me and it hurts because my feelings are so strong for her. Am I just hurting so bad that my anger is making take over what I think?...or do you think my thoughts are legit? A big piece of me says she does have genuine feelings for me, but slowly but surely the more time I spend away from her the more I think she's nothing but a liar. She's a good girl, and I was always told "Good girls never tell." Could that be true? Gosh. I'm so angry at her and I hate her I feel so much hatred right ow and I dont know how to control it because I dont know if these hate feelings are real or just a way for me to show my hurt. If somebody got any advice it is much appreciated!
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