eatNrM Posted November 5, 2011 Posted November 5, 2011 When you are describing a preference that tends to be common in younger men, and less common as men age, immaturity seems to be a fair description.Not even sure if I'd go this far. Ask a few older men if the given the option above, if they would've taken advantage of it. And if they still they wish they would have to this day. Curious, Mr. Nate, has the first time in bed with a woman always been the best sex you've had with her? You've never had the experience of sex getting better as the relationship deepens?Most guys aren't worried about achieving the best sex they've ever had. Besides, the next woman might be better than the best you've had. So that honestly could be something that is stuck in a constant flux. Sure. The sex would get better as the relationship deepens, naturally, as you learn each others' bodies. But again it's a relationship, in which perhaps the most important aspect (sex) is a factor. Simply because if you weren't getting this, you wouldn't be in one. This can almost be considered fact. So with that said...Sex can also get better with that sexy fwb you have that you see every other day. As they we learn each other's bodies (Like a gf.) No? So all that leaves for gf's /bf's are emotional factors...vs. a powerful, primal sexual urge. And considering people (men and women) will sleep with those who they aren't even emotionally attracted to.... And if you're seeing more than one these fwb's consistently (who can learn your body just as well as your gf)? Well man. My goodness.
xxoo Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 Multiple steady partners isn't really the same thing as a different girl every night.... I can see the appeal of a poly lifestyle, wherein you have sexual relationships with multiple partners. I personally prefer monogamy, but I can understand why some would prefer a bit more variety. This is true for men and women. It isn't true that sex is inarguably the most important factor in a very established relationship. Couples can go without sex during times of illness, after birth, when apart for work, etc, and stay strong. The emotional aspect is more important than you give it credit for--at least for many people.
Mrlonelyone Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 (edited) I don't think that men are hardwired to do anything but I want to know if many women really feel that they need a jerk's sperm even if he has no part in raising the kid. You don't have to think to breath, get hungry, regulate your body temp or any of those things. Getting horny is just like those other bodily functions to a great extent. The difference between us and say .... the mammal like reptiles, which mammals including primates and humans evolved from... is we have the more developed brain to do more than eat, sleep, $h1t and 4uck. In a certain sense, a womans drive to reproduce is far more evolved than a mans. While all mammalian females make an emotional connection with their children, males...not necessarily. A famous example would be bears. The mother bear will die for her cubs, the father bear just moves on to another female after mating is done...and have been known to kill and eat bearcubs. Human men and women have a great deal of neurological dimorphism. Edited November 6, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
eatNrM Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 (edited) Multiple steady partners isn't really the same thing as a different girl every night.... I can see the appeal of a poly lifestyle, wherein you have sexual relationships with multiple partners. I personally prefer monogamy, but I can understand why some would prefer a bit more variety. This is true for men and women. It isn't true that sex is inarguably the most important factor in a very established relationshipDefine 'established'. And yes, you will leave your SO if you are not getting your sexual needs met. Couples can go without sex during times of illness, after birth, when apart for work, etc, and stay strong.In these situational cases yes, of course it can last. But again, the sex part is still there. If you aren't getting sex in your relationship. I'm 100% positive you will leave. The emotional aspect is more important than you give it credit for--at least for many people.More important, and more damaging. So yes I can agree that it does have some weight. But definitely not enough to hold a relationship together. Sex, once again, carries probably just as much weight. I'd say we can take a poll of people who would be in a sexless relationship, but we already know the results. Edited November 6, 2011 by eatNrM
eatNrM Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 You ARE wrong and I don't doubt it. Most men would be sleeping on sofas around the world otherwise. A person who's opinion is just as baseless as the person she's bashing. I'll await your facts that back up this claim. But in the mean time thankfully you know what most men are thinking. Man, I honestly did not know I rather be on a couch than banging a hot girl. Thanks for the reminder. Now I see how women feel on here. I'm off to order a la z boy couch now. Be back in a bit.
eatNrM Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 God you are naive; men would risk getting HIV and many do things live have unprotected sex with hookers all the time. You really do not understand men. That ONE moment of pleasure can be SO powerful for a man that he would risk his LIFE, that one moment of unprotected anal sex with a hooker is what some men LIVE for; just the thrill, the risk, it turns some men on. Women are just naive; you don't realize to what extent guys will go to in order to satiate their needs for variety or fetishes or whatever. They struggle with it every moment of their lives. Many men do not have a dirty thought and move on; many go on CL or have sex with hookers or even go on whoring holidays (trip to Eastern Europe or Thailand for fun hooker sex). Yes, YOU would have a dirty thought and move on but men's sex drives are much stronger than you can EVER realize. I know how men think; most are all cheaters. Exactly. While i'm not into hookers, it jollies my roger how much women on here try to berate men for thinking a certain way when it comes to fantasizing about other females or behaving in a way they find socially unacceptable. They are automatically branded as wrong, immature, mentally unstable, etc. It's funny that this comes from people who have a small fraction of the testosterone men have. But hey, this doesn't matter at all! How dare your hormones dictate your natural powerful urges that have been wired over THOUSANDS of years! Preposterous! (Though I'm not sure why, as a woman, as I get older and testosterone becomes more prevalent in my bloodstream, my sex drive gets stronger. This is obviously a mistake.) You should think like me, because I'm full of estrogen which makes my wants rational and yours just..well..wrong. I don't agree with it, so you are just a wrong man. And most men I deal with don't have the cojones to tell me how they really feel, so of course this thought has not been challenged. That's about the jist of it:laugh: I think I need to make Dr. Phil my new avatar.
Tiberius Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 If you are,reasonably attractive and have enough time on your hands I dont see why it should not happen. Picking up a girl isnt as hard as some players might think especially if they go someplace to be picked up.
xxoo Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 See the light please. The light? I'm living in the light! Nate, I'm not trying to tell you what to think or how to be. But I don't believe the way you think is representative of all men. Just like you aren't like the men J200 describes, since you don't seem tempted to have unprotected sex with hookers on CL. Would you feel comfortable with a CL hooker-user claiming that ALL men struggle to resist unprotected sex with hookers on CL, and anyone who claims otherwise is naive?
Jynxx Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 If you are,reasonably attractive and have enough time on your hands I dont see why it should not happen. Picking up a girl isnt as hard as some players might think especially if they go someplace to be picked up. Lol. If you were right, there wouldn't be any guys on this forum. I'm not saying it's impossible or can't be learned, but it takes huge amounts of effort to get reasonably successful.
Frogwife Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 I have a friend who is the bass player for a huge pop star here in France. He's 50 and he's on tour nine months out of the year - been doing this for the last 20 years. He probably has sex with a different woman every night (sometimes more than one woman). It's fun and exciting in the moment but it also leaves him very lonely, empty and unable to function in normal relationships with women. (Normal, stable women won't tolerate this kind of screwing around.) Of course, it's his choice to do this (even the singer, who's married, doesn't screw around at all) - but I think at the end of the day, something that seems exciting and desirable from an outsider's view, really isn't in any sort of sustained way.
IrishCarBomb Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 I know how men think; most are all cheaters. "60% of the time, it works every time."
eatNrM Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 The light? I'm living in the light! Nate, I'm not trying to tell you what to think or how to be. But I don't believe the way you think is representative of all men. Just like you aren't like the men J200 describes, since you don't seem tempted to have unprotected sex with hookers on CL. Would you feel comfortable with a CL hooker-user claiming that ALL men struggle to resist unprotected sex with hookers on CL, and anyone who claims otherwise is naive? Of cousre I don't expect what I think to be representative of ALL men. That's impossible to do. But that mentality is a lot more prevalent than most people (especially women) expect. My goal here is to challenge these conventional ways of thinking without backing it up with facts. I know for sure most men wish they were having more sex than they are now. Well of course I wouldn't be comfortable with him saying that. But it really doesn't make me uncomfortable. I just disagree with certain parts he said. But I 100% agree with the 'you would be surprised what most men will go through for some ass' idea. Again, most people (espsecially women) will disagree because instead of considering that 'hey, maybe im wrong', pride and idealism tends to get in the way. And the loop just continues. I'm frankly surprised how men still put up with it. But at the same time, it's encouraging that more men are standing up and refusing to let women define them or their natural desires as being piggish, immature or such. Oprah, Tyra Banks, Dr. Phil are just feeding this fire. Women deal with being told they all need to be super sexy. I'm sure they're tired of it. Men deal with being told that it's wrong to be a man. I'm sure they're tired of it. In fact, I'm almost sure within the next 20 years, most of these men will crack and there will be another huge men's movement. One in which they will stop giving a damn, and stretching themselves thin to please women or fit their ideals. Or going through hell's flames to prove their worth. And will instead be confident, and unabashedly go after what they want, without apology. I can't wait.
eatNrM Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 I have a friend who is the bass player for a huge pop star here in France. He's 50 and he's on tour nine months out of the year - been doing this for the last 20 years. He probably has sex with a different woman every night (sometimes more than one woman). It's fun and exciting in the moment but it also leaves him very lonely, empty and unable to function in normal relationships with women. (Normal, stable women won't tolerate this kind of screwing around.) Of course, it's his choice to do this (even the singer, who's married, doesn't screw around at all) - but I think at the end of the day, something that seems exciting and desirable from an outsider's view, really isn't in any sort of sustained way. You would honestly be surprised. Even if it dies down in the long run, most men would love to experience that excitement. Again, you have sex on tap. So it's not a huge drive for you. Men don't.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 If it's natural for men to want to screw a different woman every day, and if the majority of them would do so if they could - I still maintain that most of them would not carry on like this indefinitely. I believe that a choice to explore true intimacy with another human being would ultimately be more attractive to lots of men than to have sex with a different woman every day for their lifetime. Just like I don't eat pastries every day just because I love them, I crave them and they are available to me. A different eating choice offers more benefits.
eatNrM Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 (edited) If it's natural for men to want to screw a different woman every day, and if the majority of them would do so if they could - I still maintain that most of them would not carry on like this indefinitely. I believe that a choice to explore true intimacy with another human being would ultimately be more attractive to lots of men than to have sex with a different woman every day for their lifetime. Just like I don't eat pastries every day just because I love them, I crave them and they are available to me. A different eating choice offers more benefits. Well even I admitted I couldn't handle that everyday. However, as the question was posed if most men were given the option of doing that or laying on a couch, we'd apparently opt to laying on a couch. Most men can't do that everyday. But I'm fairly confident, every other day or every few days. Most would if given the opportunity. Intimacy is great, but most will opt for the previous and bang loads of hot girls, and put intimacy way on the back burner, again if given the opportunity. Most men don't have near the amount of sexual encounters they would've like to have before settling down. You don't hear this same issue from women for a reason. Hm. I dare wonder how many men look back on their lives and wish they did things different and fooled around with more women. I don't expect women to really understand where I (or men who won't speak up) are coming from in this regard. They usually get this need satisfied early, consistently and often. There is a reason women who are having trouble finding a man. Men have a harder time getting this physical need met without sacrificing their health to prostitutes. And unfortunately for them, it takes a longer time to as well. Again, women won't get it because: they can handle that need early, consistently, and often. I know married guys who still talk about how fine their x girlfriend was, and how they have to fight temptation to this day after years of marriage. My own married cousin at times wishes life had a rewind button. There are so many things you won't hear in male/female conversations. Different things drive us. Edited November 6, 2011 by eatNrM
Frogwife Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 You would honestly be surprised. Even if it dies down in the long run, most men would love to experience that excitement. Again, you have sex on tap. So it's not a huge drive for you. Men don't. Ha - sex on tap! (I guess you've read some of my other posts...) I agree with what you say above.
eatNrM Posted November 6, 2011 Posted November 6, 2011 Ha - sex on tap! (I guess you've read some of my other posts...) I agree with what you say above. I didn't need read any to know you had it on tap already. But I did just read some of them and it confirms what I said earlier. It's nice to see a woman who is agrees.
D87 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 I'm a 25 year old guy, successful business owner and pretty good looking and athletic. I've never had any problem getting a girl, but have only been intimate with 3 women in my life. For me its always been quality over quantity. I would much rather be in a relationship with a 9 or 10 with good personality than bang a bunch of slutty 5's and 6's with bad personalities. Sex also gets much better over time, when you're comfortable with the person and they learn what pleases you. I've had up to 5 orgasms one after another with a girlfriend - I can't imagine a random girl I just met giving me that much pleasure. And when the sex is over, you can actually enjoy having a nice conversation and intellectual stimulation, as opposed to wanting to kick the person out ASAP. Call me weird, but I don't see anything attractive about having a one night stand every night.
xxoo Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 I'm a 25 year old guy, successful business owner and pretty good looking and athletic. I've never had any problem getting a girl, but have only been intimate with 3 women in my life. For me its always been quality over quantity. I would much rather be in a relationship with a 9 or 10 with good personality than bang a bunch of slutty 5's and 6's with bad personalities. Sex also gets much better over time, when you're comfortable with the person and they learn what pleases you. I've had up to 5 orgasms one after another with a girlfriend - I can't imagine a random girl I just met giving me that much pleasure. And when the sex is over, you can actually enjoy having a nice conversation and intellectual stimulation, as opposed to wanting to kick the person out ASAP. Call me weird, but I don't see anything attractive about having a one night stand every night. I don't think you are weird. I know a lot of guys like you. Probably, some guys are more relationship-minded than others, and that's ok
dasein Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 Just like any other physical activity, sex is a matter of building up stamina. Appetite is also built up in the mind. Naturally someone having very little sex would have a hard time envisioning more if they hadn't gone through a period of high sexual frequency in their lives. A GF before my ex wanted sex 2-4 times a day. I started out wanting sex 3-5 times a week, but in a short time, endurance, stamina and physiology brought me up to a couple of times a day. Now it isn't too hard to envision very attractive men in a target rich environment, say a bartender in a large, popular club, having sex with several women in a week, and certainly isnt hard to envision an average woman most anywhere having the same. So yes, it happens in real life. Just like any other goal, if one really set one's mind to it, or found oneself a celebrity due to whatever, it could happen. Is it a worthy life goal? That's a matter for another thread. There's a diminishing return and opportunity cost. If one is spending several hours a day having sex, they don't have as much time for socializing with friends and family, hobbies or work they enjoy, community activities and charity. If they are doing it impulsively with strangers, there's obvious mental and physical health risks. If one rides a roller coaster once a year when they go to the park, it's a thrill. If they work at the park as a safety inspector and are responsible for riding the rollercoaster ten times a day, not so much. Sex is exactly the same.
Anela Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 I have no problem with the idea of regular sex - hence the frustration (no boyfriend) - but going out and picking someone up for that does nothing for me. Absolutely nothing. Sadly, I wonder if I was out there sleeping around, if at least one of them would fall in love with me (but not be someone I wanted to be with long-term). I know someone who's polyamorous, who kept having men say that they didn't want to share her anymore. She was the one running out and dating as much as possible, and the men wanted to get serious.
in_absentia Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 I have no problem with the idea of regular sex - hence the frustration (no boyfriend) - but going out and picking someone up for that does nothing for me. Absolutely nothing. Sadly, I wonder if I was out there sleeping around, if at least one of them would fall in love with me (but not be someone I wanted to be with long-term). I know someone who's polyamorous, who kept having men say that they didn't want to share her anymore. She was the one running out and dating as much as possible, and the men wanted to get serious. Similar thing happened with me, I was dating/sleeping with two separate friends at once who didn't know each other (but both knew about it). Friend A was himself polyamorous and made it clear at the start he never wanted a serious monogamous relationship with me, which I was more than happy about. Friend B after a few months came clean about his feelings with me and that he wanted it to be just us two in a relationship. I was a bit hesitant as I wasn't sure things with A had run their course, but after another couple of months we made things official, I broke it off with A and B and I have been together nearly a year now, living together for all but a month of that, and are blissfully happy. Kinda goes against the idea that all men won't want a girl who is multiple dating/sleeping with people for a gf, I'm just lucky that my bf is very non-jealous so could handle the thought of me with the other guy.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 I'm a 25 year old guy, successful business owner and pretty good looking and athletic. I've never had any problem getting a girl, but have only been intimate with 3 women in my life. For me its always been quality over quantity. I would much rather be in a relationship with a 9 or 10 with good personality than bang a bunch of slutty 5's and 6's with bad personalities. Would you rather be in a relationship with a 5 or 6 with a good personality than bang a bunch of slutty 9's or 10's who had bad personalties?
in_absentia Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 That seems to be a british thing quite frankly. Really? I don't have many USA friends so I'm not sure how things work there, though I know there's a far greater religious pull on people. Most of my friends have sex with people they're not in relationships with, that's true. I wouldn't normally sleep with somebody unless I was in a relationship with them (no offence to those that do, I just did it once and it wasn't for me) but all of that happened before I had any idea I was going to have a relationship with one of them.
D87 Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 (edited) Would you rather be in a relationship with a 5 or 6 with a good personality than bang a bunch of slutty 9's or 10's who had bad personalties? Both options are not ideal, but being in a relationship with 5 or 6 with good personality is more appealing to me. Steady good sex, condom-less sex (I hate condom, can't have good orgasm with it), a lot less drama, less work to get laid, always have someone there for you, never being lonely, home-cooked meals (LOVE it when a girl cooks for me), less chances of catching teh aids, etc etc are all reasons. But I probably wouldn't be satisfied with her 100% and keep looking for a 9 or 10 with good personality to replace her with Edited November 7, 2011 by D87
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