My relationship experiences

[Enigma86]

I was in a relationship for almost a decade with this beautiful girl...It's like we grew up and became adult together..We dated when i was only 15 and she was 14 back in high school...The relationship was nice and there was hardly any fight, argument or disagreement...She's almost the perfect girl...There are so many guys that wanted to be with her but all those years she was very loyal to me and just want to spend every day with me...When she turn 20, she started to push me into getting marry...The people in my culture get marry very young and at that age, she was afraid that i might not marry her and i might ended up finding someone younger...to make a long story short, at the age of 21, she start talking to a new guy and eventually cheated on me...

 

What did i do? i went to her house and waited until she come back...i took her for a drive around our usual spot and tell her that our relationship will only be a memories..both of us were crying...She pity me and she came back to me only to leave me a month after..what did i do? i beg her and promise her that i will marry her..I was only 22 at that time and i was not ready to get marry yet...i beg, cried and was on my knees..She didn't look at me..I almost fainted but she didn't care..she told me to go home before she call the cops on me...

 

i gave her a call and told her that i'm going to kill myself..she said that she know me well and i'm not the type to do such a thing...I called her so many times just four days after she cheated on me..a week later she got married to her new guy..That was the end of us unfortunately...

 

When you're in a good long term relationship for a while, the sparks may be gone..the feelings might not be there anymore but it's still there..what happen was, just after she got married, she started calling me at night with a block number..she called and just listen to my voice saying hello repeatedly...i know that it was her because she's the only person that know my number besides my workplace, family and a few friends...She called me almost every night just listening to me saying hello..i usually hung up the phone after a few hello...her sister said that my ex miss me so much that she couldn't sleep at night...she still look on my myspace and facebook page til these days...it's been three years...

 

Sometime it may seems like the feelings aren't there anymore but it's still there..this is the time when it's necessary to take a break in a relationship because eventually the feelings will resurface....most people think they're over that person..and because of this they do things that they ended up regretting...the love in that relationship was so nice and it would be hard to replace her but that kind of thinking is very negative..i forgive myself for not having the kind of knowledge i have now..

 

After that, i went through some more relationship which doesn't last very long...I've been through a lot and i'm willing to share my experiences, opinions and observations with you guys...

 

In one of my relationship, i thought i truly lost a good person...There are some qualities in her that i really like but there are also some that i can't stand at all...so was it a lost? no it is not..i made a list of what i like and what i dislike and the dislike side kept adding up...i've never attempt to win her back..but she always talk to me when ever she see me online...

 

In another one of my relationship, she had a crush on someone else...what did i do? i didn't do anything..what else can i do? beg her and buy her a car to convince her? no...there's nothing i can do...sometime you can sense a break up coming a month or a few weeks ahead...When someone's giving her the attention, and if she think he's cute too, you have a good chance of losing her..this is how i feel because she didn't pick up my calls like usual..and she didn't answer my text message until several hours pass..and she constantly talked about this one guy..Even though her friends told me that they think i'm so much better than that one guy...One day she text me and told me that she wanted us to take a break..i told her that i will meet her in person to talk about this..she didn't want to meet in person but i told her that she must because it's rude to just text me like that...

 

We met at starbucks and usually i would sat next to her holding her hand and talking..but this time i was already well prepare...i sat across from her instead of next to her and i have this smile on my face..inside me was all rotten and full of anger but i was able to force myself to smile..she said she wanted to take a break..i just agreed with her that we should take a break too because i've been very busy....i was only saying that even though i'm not that busy...I told her that i truly love her and i only want to see her happy even if the person she's with is not me...I reached over and grab her hand and told her that she can take a long break if she want, but if she ever wanted to come back, it's my decision whether i want her back or not...When someone wants to take a break, they have the power and the decision..there's nothing you can do..but if they ever want to come back, you're the one with the decision,,,remember that...i gave her a kiss on the forehead and walk away..how rude of me huh? But i think i actually did the right things..i wouldn't let anyone treat me like a fallback guy..i'm not going to stay here like this and let someone jump over to the other fence and see if the grass is actually greener over there....

 

Before she seems to ignore my calls and text messages..but after our talk, i completely cut off the contacts..no calls or text messages anymore..it's hard to do but i just find things to keep me busy..i workout a lot and went on a protein diet to buff up a bit..and i'm very focus on my career as well...One of her friend saw me and compliment me and how good i look...Her friend offer to paid for my lunch in the school cafeteria and we had a good talk...I associated myself with people who are very positives and that helps a lot...After a few days, my gf started to message me and call me...i didn't replied back until a few hours had pass...and i did it on purpose..how rude of me huh? it's only fair that someone get a taste of their own medicine sometime...

 

The feeling of losing something is so much more powerful than the feeling of wanting something new...She want to see if things will work out with the other guy by insisting that we should take a break...when i gave her what she want and walked away, she want me back..she knew that there's a good chance that she will lose me...She said she wanted to work things out with me and she asked if we're still on a break...it was rude of me but i told her that i don't know about her but we're done already..Then she tried and make me feel guilty by saying that she thought i just want to see her happy..and that she will be happy if we get back together..i told her that it's true that i want her to be happy, but i also want me to be happy too...and because of that, i won't wanna be with a person who doesn't know what she want...i never got back with her..a person who have a crush on someone else when they're still with you truly does not respect you...if you accept them back, there's a good chance they will repeat it again in the future..i was always on a quest to find a nice girl who know how to respect her boyfriend...Her cousin told me that it was my lost for not accepting her back..deep down i know it was not my lost at all..if i'm only going to lose someone like that, it's not a lost...

 

I've come across many different situation in my love life...i met with this girl at my work place and we just started to hang out and things were going good..eventually we became a couple...and then after a while she lost her feelings for me...she told me that she don't know if she should break up with me or not..she told me that i'm the guy she have been looking for but she just don't feel what she wanted to feel...she said that since she didn't love me the way i love her, she don't want to hurt me...so i told her that we should just break it off..and we did...i didn't contact her for two weeks..within that two weeks, i did a lot of workout and just focus on school and hang out with my classmates..just to get my mind off of her...we're both very busy with school and work and we hardly have time for each other when we're still together...

 

I've never tried to get anyone back since my first ex who i've dated for almost a decade..but for this relationship, i thought it would be a good idea to give things a second try...I started to play a little psychological mind games with her...i went No Contact with her for only two weeks..i always look my best when i'm out there with my friends...I'm still very nice and caring towards her..i told her that since she's always so stress out about school, she should take a break sometime and go out with her friends and have fun..and go to date with other people because she might find someone that she really like...and i told her that i just wanted her to be happy and i still care and love her...that is very confusing to her..when i called her, i always sounded very happy and outgoing..but i made the phone call very short..I only call her to see how she's doing and just checking up on her..she seems like she still wanted to talk more but i already told her that i have to go...

 

When i meet her, i always gave her a smile and talk to her in a happy manner...i told her that she look a little pale and make sure she take care of herself and eat healthy..then i gave her a tiny little pinch on the cheek and told her she look cute that day..and then i told her that i have to go..she look at me with big shiny eyes...She's very curious...Remember that if you're a good person..lets say if you're decent looking, have good hygiene, good style, have a career, have a job and you're a nice person overall, even if she doesn't want to be with you, she wouldn't want other girls to have you either...so always look your best and be nice to your ex...never be bitter towards them..it just shows how mature you are as a person.....if you want to hurt your ex because of what they've done to you, it's always more rewarding to hurt them with kindness...

 

I made myself less and less available to her..but every time we talk, i always make her feel good and i made her laugh...i also told her about how i got accepted into the nursing program and i'm so excited and i can't wait to meet all of these wonderful people who are also in the same field as me...i usually called her two times a week but i always make it short...when we talk, she doesn't seems to wanna hang up but i told her that i have to go...Then one night i called her and spent 30 minutes with her..it was a very nice talk and after that, i took a whole week off without any contact...and we got back together the following week...the phrase that people always want what they can't have is so true.....you want to make her feel happy and special again and then just disappear for a week..it will make them miss you and want to talk to you again...one day i took a picture of me showing off my abs that i've been working so hard for..and i post that picture on facebook..when she saw that picture, she gave me a call and asked if that picture was recent..i told her yeah it is...it's just part of my little mind game...always try to look good and workout!!!

 

if someone break up with you, you don't want to make them feel guilty for breaking up with you..if every time they talk to you and you make them feel guilty, they will only want to stay away from you..because who would want to feel guilty? "oh that guy over there, he can make me feel guilty..i wanna go and have him make me feel guilty." no girls would think or say something like that...you always want to put on the best performance even though your'e all hurt and rotten inside...

 

Me and her were back together for a while..we're very busy with school and hardly have time for each other..our weekdays was all about school and our weekends is all about working all day...we broke up after a while to focus on ourselves..she brought up the idea of breaking up..at first i told her that i really don't want to break up but it's okay if we're breaking up...I asked her what is it about me that she don't like, she told me that we're good just that sometime we tend to disagree on things..i think that is very normal in any relationship...i sort of tried to fight her decision at first..and then i pause and there was an awkward moment of silence..then i look at her and smile and i told her that i think it's a very good idea to break up because we're both so busy.....i told her how we're both gonna continue on with our career and meet a lot of interesting people..and since we're both very busy, it's good to break it off in good terms..i smile at her and asked her one more time if she really want to break up with me..And this time she told me that she don't know...Why do you think all of a sudden she don't know if she want to break up anymore? think about it.....i just accepted the break up and brought up the fact that we will be going onto our career and meet a lot of interesting people and it's a good idea to break it off in good term.....

 

Before someone made up their mind to talk to you and break things off, they are already well prepare emotionally...it's hard to face the reality of breaking up...but i think it's a good idea to make that other person feel that reality too..so when i agreed to the break up, she have to face the reality that we are now over...She was very emotional and crying..i still call her sometime but i keep it short..and i'm glad we're still good friend..right now i'm not looking to work things out with her again but i'm glad that the break up was in good terms and the door for reconciliation is still open..there wasn't any bitterness during the break up which is a good thing...

 

Here's a few advice for you guys...

I'm not a very tall person...i'm only 5'3 or 5'4 and that's very short for American standard..but i was able to date some gorgeous girls and managed to win them over some taller guys..i'm not being conceited here...What i'm lacking in height, i'm trying to make it up with physical fitness and good hygiene..and i always walk with my back straight...my body language is always very approachable and when i talk to people, i always have a smile on...i have a job and i also go to school and stay focus on my career..these are all good qualities and most of the time the girls i date are the type like me..they go to school, have a job and they're nice people over all...most of the time who you will attract depends on who you are...if a short little guys like me can do it, i'm sure you guys can do it too...Good luck to everyone and God bless

[wilsonx]

think you need to read some more relationship books bro

 

all I read were games and one emotional manipulation after another