romeoindisthang Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 thread title is misleading. sorry. but now that you're here you might aswell help right? me and my ex started talking around 8 months ago. i'm a frat dude who thought she was cute but didn't have that much of a vested interest. i forgot her name like 4 times and basically didn't care that much. through a game of cat and mouse we started hooking up at school, on and off. during the summer things were different, after an initial period of me ignoring her we started hanging out. this is where i fell for the girl - hard. we hung out all the time, when we were together had sex constantly, it was amazing. it was bliss. i wish i could go back to summer, being away from the social bull**** of school. fastforward to the next school year. i'm a junior, she's a sophomore. she lives on campus with her 2 single friends who wanna go out in party. i know that college is about raging and i respect that so i never get annoyed or complain. i just let it ride. i live off campus and have mostly chilled out and would rather just enjoy watching a movie with her than drinking heavily anymore. she grows distant throughout the year. we don't really address it because our relationship was superficial in the summer and basically built on lust. but eventually this culminates to last weekend where we drunkenly discussed what was up. we concluded: things were immideality different at school. it may not be possible to be the way we were in this environment. neither of us want each other completely out of the other's lives, but we realize things aren't work anymore. a couple days go by without us talking at all. eventually she texts me to ask whats up and baits me into showing some emotion by casually dropping the fact that she had returned a very expensive dress the two of us had gone and bought together. unfouratently i take the bait and call her moderately upset and ask to talk that night. the talk is very amicable, I'm laying on my back and she puts her head down on my chest. we discuss our options, we're at different points in our lives, and why things aren't working. we decide that for the relationship to work we need to be able to actually confide in each other and invest emotionally. her dad has died recently and she's references this as some of the reason she can't do that. i'm not entirely sure i believe thats her full reasoning. she asks if i really couldn't be friends with her if we broke up. i said no i couldn't, but this answer became kind of fuddled with more probing. we decide to breakup, kiss one final time, i smile at her and we laugh about what a weird ride its been. i leave. i really ****ing cared about this girl. i've since severed contact. its not been that long at all. i know i need to stick to this. my question to y'all: is there any chance this girl comes around? was she letting me down easy? should i just forget she existed and move on? give it to me straight, i appreciate all help
maxy1 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 thread title is misleading. sorry. but now that you're here you might aswell help right? me and my ex started talking around 8 months ago. i'm a frat dude who thought she was cute but didn't have that much of a vested interest. i forgot her name like 4 times and basically didn't care that much. through a game of cat and mouse we started hooking up at school, on and off. during the summer things were different, after an initial period of me ignoring her we started hanging out. this is where i fell for the girl - hard. we hung out all the time, when we were together had sex constantly, it was amazing. it was bliss. i wish i could go back to summer, being away from the social bull**** of school. fastforward to the next school year. i'm a junior, she's a sophomore. she lives on campus with her 2 single friends who wanna go out in party. i know that college is about raging and i respect that so i never get annoyed or complain. i just let it ride. i live off campus and have mostly chilled out and would rather just enjoy watching a movie with her than drinking heavily anymore. she grows distant throughout the year. we don't really address it because our relationship was superficial in the summer and basically built on lust. but eventually this culminates to last weekend where we drunkenly discussed what was up. we concluded: things were immideality different at school. it may not be possible to be the way we were in this environment. neither of us want each other completely out of the other's lives, but we realize things aren't work anymore. a couple days go by without us talking at all. eventually she texts me to ask whats up and baits me into showing some emotion by casually dropping the fact that she had returned a very expensive dress the two of us had gone and bought together. unfouratently i take the bait and call her moderately upset and ask to talk that night. the talk is very amicable, I'm laying on my back and she puts her head down on my chest. we discuss our options, we're at different points in our lives, and why things aren't working. we decide that for the relationship to work we need to be able to actually confide in each other and invest emotionally. her dad has died recently and she's references this as some of the reason she can't do that. i'm not entirely sure i believe thats her full reasoning. she asks if i really couldn't be friends with her if we broke up. i said no i couldn't, but this answer became kind of fuddled with more probing. we decide to breakup, kiss one final time, i smile at her and we laugh about what a weird ride its been. i leave. i really ****ing cared about this girl. i've since severed contact. its not been that long at all. i know i need to stick to this. my question to y'all: is there any chance this girl comes around? was she letting me down easy? should i just forget she existed and move on? give it to me straight, i appreciate all help i feel your pain man, but i commemorate you fully on your not acting like a psycho and keepin it real. keep it up with that, she might start to miss you or you guys might start talking again. after all, you're at the same school. give it time, don't act too rashly too quickly. each minute probably seems like an hour right now for you, but stay patient. i am going through a break up myself right now and have made some rash mistakes that i am glad to hear you have not. the cooler you appear, the better your chances. but you cannot force her back, that will either just strait up not work and she cuts you off, or she will come back feeling forced and eventually hate you. stay cool man, stay cool. good luck!
Author romeoindisthang Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 What are the ages here? You? Her? i'm 20 and she's 19. the more i reflect on things, the more I think i'm coming to terms with the fact that its over for at least awhile. although we both concluded that during the summer things were kind of superficial in that they were based on love, lust, sex i was ready to have an open dialogue and more on with the relationship in a positive way. at one point she said to me(about the summer) "maybe thats all we were meant to be"...and with her biological father just dying recently, and differences in school environment, maybe she's right. i just wish i could have been more proactive as far as things went when i saw her getting distant. maybe it woulda changed things, maybe not. for now i'm just gonna assume i've lost her, which really sucks and hurts - but what can you do. is there anyone out there who wants to give me a little hope, hah? what do you guys think
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