stargirl259 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Hi guys, I hope your well. My ex and I broke up a month ago now... and today was my birthday and instead of moping around I went out with friends and have planned a night out tonight too. My ex who hasn't been speaking to me decided to text me for my birthday and ask if I was working which I replied no and he then said "okay, he needs to see me." To which I replied "okay, i am out tomorrow but could spare an hour before I meet up to friends," He ignored this comment and text back "Are you busy all day?" At this point, I started getting slightly annoyed, where has the guy been the past month and why is he texting me now!?! The day when I was actually starting to feel bit better about myself. We broke up because he felt he couldn't give our relationship justice with his mum and grandad both falling ill at the same time and wouldn't let me support him through it, just broke up with me. BTW I did carry on texting him and talking to him to help him through the family issues but started NC this week to sort myself out. I am so confused now as to what he wants and I am trying hard not to read too much into it, I know that I want to ask him what he's playing at but I still love him. Any advice on what to do will be great, Thanks guys xx
ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 First.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Secondly.. How long were you guy together?
Author stargirl259 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Thank you! We were together 9 months but he persued me for 9 years before I said yes to dating him this year. x
Bobby289 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Hi guys, I hope your well. My ex and I broke up a month ago now... and today was my birthday and instead of moping around I went out with friends and have planned a night out tonight too. My ex who hasn't been speaking to me decided to text me for my birthday and ask if I was working which I replied no and he then said "okay, he needs to see me." To which I replied "okay, i am out tomorrow but could spare an hour before I meet up to friends," He ignored this comment and text back "Are you busy all day?" At this point, I started getting slightly annoyed, where has the guy been the past month and why is he texting me now!?! The day when I was actually starting to feel bit better about myself. We broke up because he felt he couldn't give our relationship justice with his mum and grandad both falling ill at the same time and wouldn't let me support him through it, just broke up with me. BTW I did carry on texting him and talking to him to help him through the family issues but started NC this week to sort myself out. I am so confused now as to what he wants and I am trying hard not to read too much into it, I know that I want to ask him what he's playing at but I still love him. Any advice on what to do will be great, Thanks guys xx He doesn't want you to go out and party, that's all I see. If he tries to make you feel bad about it and says he can only see you at night that is for sure the reason.
Author stargirl259 Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 Thanks guys! I have tried to make allowances for him and be there for him with all the stuff that's been going on in his life but felt I was still crying over him and feeling rubbish. So I decided I needed to look after myself.. he's not a bad man and never known him to play games so I am genuinely puzzled as to what's going on in his head. Is he missing me? Is he not? x
ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Really bobby? That's what you see? I am surprised. I don't know what I see yet... How old are you both?
Bobby289 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Yeah just from the people I know of course. I mean he could just be having a hard time and want to talk but why that exact day? and why is before she goes out not good enough? I mean I am sure there is a reason but just sounds like he is a little selfish. He is having a hard time but he should also respect its your birthday and you have plans. just my opinion lol
ChelseaLS Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Alright... This could mean a many number of things..he misses you, doesn't want to see you having fun or simply wants to wish you a HB. I like that... "may have an hour before I head out"... Don't invite him along afterwards. I feel it would have been better to say you were busy, but backwards is not an option. Keep your visit short, kind and business... Maybe even cut it short.. You do have plans. I am not sure his intentions. Holidays and BDays are hard to read. If he trys stiluff moves, emotional stuff, Remind him of your space and his space and he was the one that wanted this. Make sure you are emotionally ready for this visit so that you can deal seeing him and then go out afterward with a good fun mind set... Afterall it's your birthday a day to be happy, celebrated and full of fun.
M2155 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Tough one. Doesn't sound like you've been totally NC because you said you've been supporting him so maybe he is used to you being there. Also doesn't sound like you broke up for anything bad, like he just needed time to deal with an issue (sorry I don't know all the details of your story) so he may not be playing games or anything. Could be genuine:confused:
HappyFlower Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 My ex who hasn't been speaking to me decided to text me for my birthday and ask if I was working which I replied no and he then said "okay, he needs to see me." To which I replied "okay, i am out tomorrow but could spare an hour before I meet up to friends," He ignored this comment and text back "Are you busy all day?" Happy Birthday! Hmm, I'd be annoyed at this too. He 'needs' to see you? Why now? Maybe he knows as its your b'day you will be out, and he doesn't want that. Not sure. I find it a little rude that he'd ignore you telling him you can meet him before going out. His response almost sounds like he wants the meeting on his terms. If I was you, I'd tell him 'yes, I am busy all day, but I've said I can meet you for a short time'. Even if his need to see you is genuine, he must repect the fact that now you're not together he can't just expect you to be free all day and meet him whenever he wants. Go out and enjoy your nights and try not to worry about what he is/isn;t trying to tell you
shayla Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 It sounds like a passive aggressive way to put a damper on your birthday and any possible celebration. Even if you don't see him, you will be preoccupied with what he wants and why now....mission accomplished. He could have waited until after your birthday for all this. Happy Birthday!
Author stargirl259 Posted November 5, 2011 Author Posted November 5, 2011 Thanks guys for the birthday wishes! Update: So I went out last night with some friends and dressed up and felt very hot (Facebooked the hot pictures!!) hehe! He was texting me all day again to find out if I was free again to which I replied I am not, busy all weekend and he then text me to say don't buy the lost boxset which I am assuming he bought me for my birthday. Think it costs £50 - £100 which has now got me thinking, why spend that much on just a friend or would you spend that much on your friends? I told him it was too much and I would pay half of the price because for a friend present it is too much, to which he replied, "If you don't be quiet, I will just buy you more stuff." and " I want to buy you something and knew you would like it." Nothing bad happened to make us break up apart from the personal stuff that he was going through. So now I am even more confused and puzzled! x
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