xquarkofborgx Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 So kind of a long story I'll make as short as I can. Lived with a girl for roughly 5 years and had a little boy with her. Things were great until the 2 year mark when I heard she was possibly cheating on me. Had about 3 people that work with her tell my brother who told me. Didn't believe it at the time and gave her another chance. Had a child a little over a year later and things got rough between us. She was always on edge and mad a lot. She didn't work and stayed home with our son. Well in October of 2010 she randomly came home after hanging out with her friends and said she wasn't happy and wanted to split. I was really upset because I wanted to make it work since we just had a kid. I asked about counseling and trying to make it happen and she wanted nothing to do with this. I was kind of suspicious of things so I checked my phone logs a little over a week later and found out she was texting some weird numbers a lot. I looked into it and found some random number so I called it and it was some guy. Then I found another and called it and it was another guy. At this time we were still living together. I decided to move out a month later and have been out since. I came back to get my stuff a few days after I moved out and there was some guy in her bed when I got there she was at work. Then she dated the guy for a few months. Apparently he treated her like **** and she would text me saying she missed me. I went along with it like a idiot. They broke up awhile later. I had talked to a few girls over the months and she talked to a few guys I am guessing. I recently started dating a girl who is pretty cool and we get along a lot. My ex recently got pregnant and had a miscarriage with some random dude who isn't in her life anymore. She was texting me telling me she missed how we were a family and how we were when she was pregnant and how she made a mistake. She has been taking an initiative to try and be in my life more lately even after the miscarriage. I am not sure what to do. On one hand I have a great girlfriend who will do anything for me and cares about me a lot and who I can trust. The other hand I have my ex who I am still in love with but has done a lot to make me not trust her and hurt me. I have been playing it cool talking to my ex for my sons sake and just being around her with him. I don't want to make a mistake again and try and make something work that is possibly dead. Any advice would be great. Its been a year since we broke up.
BCCA Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 I dont mean to be so blunt, but honestly - youre her safety net. All she sees you as is someone she can run back to when things hit the rocks with other guys. Her actions, especially considering you had a kid together, are disgusting. I know its hard to let go, but you should really do just that. How can you ever be sure that, even if you did reconcile, she wouldnt just go through the same motions all over? Chances are, she would do exactly that. I know people like to think that others can change, and they can - when they want to. Theyll never change because its good for you. I can almost GUARANTEE you that if you were to get back together with her, the same thing would happen again, and it seriously does sound like she was cheating on you at one point. Youve seen what this chick is about, and it sucks. Why ruin the healthy relationship you have now for the unhealthy relationship you had before? Be pleasant for your son's sake, but I wouldnt even entertain the idea of giving her another chance. Im sure this isnt what you want to hear, but its the truth my friend.
Author xquarkofborgx Posted November 5, 2011 Author Posted November 5, 2011 You are right and thank you so much for the reply. I kinda knew the answer before I asked. My parents told me the same thing. Its just really a hard thing considering there is a child involved. I do believe she cheated on me at the 2 year mark even though at the time she convinced me she didn't and I do believe she was wanting to break up because of her being selfish and wanting to find something else. I have had a rough year seeing all of what has went on. Like I said recently she has texted me and acted like she wants to eventually work things out and like you said I am defenitly feeling like a saftey net in this case. I have done nothing but focus on my son since the break up and dated little. Like I said I am with someone now but it took me the year to even consider dating again. I do care for this person and my sons mother but you are right in this situation. I just needed to hear it from someone else. What really hurts is my son is special needs. He has been slow to talk and communicate what he wants and is in speech therapy. She is a good mom but knew all this before she broke up with me and did not try and make it work considering his needs and the special attention we need for him and then went and got pregnant again. Anyway thank you for the response it is really good to know there are people that have been through some stuff as well.
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