"Single" for 6 weeks, would I be cheating?

[Jono85]

I think woggle is a stand up guy and not retarded in any way...just because he meant to say 99% and said 100% out of easy convenience or laps in mental state..means nothing....we all know it's 99%...

 

no wonder u get cheated on with that attitude.

[dispatch3d]

Yes.

 

asdlfkjasldfkjasldfj these characters are here so I can finish my post.

[GG3]

Sounds like you are paranoid your fiance will cheat and can't take the suspense. So you are trying to control it by initiating a breakup. You'll have a fling so that you won't feel as hurt if she sleeps with someone or "cheat."

[ChessPieceFace]

Women are masters of rationalizing things in their favor and men often prove to be just the opposite, as in your case.

 

Yep. Stop agonizing over your morality in this situation, she agreed to it.

 

By the way, if she agreed to this, it's because she wanted a fling also. She would have never allowed you to do this if she didn't want it for herself.

[oaks]

Things haven't been exactly brilliant the last few weeks though. With her work she was due to go over seas to work for 4-6 weeks. I suggested we split up for this duration. Not a "break" but split up. This time would help us (myself more importantly) put perspective on our relationship before we do step down the aisle. We split up With the view that we would get back together when she comes home.

 

It sounds like you told her that you need to split up to get your head straight. I guess you didn't tell her that you need to split up so that you can get your dick straight. Should've clarified that with her at the outset!

[nothappyjan]

I'm confused why you are both getting married if you dont believe in monogamy. Why not just keep dating each other and keep sleeping with other people too if thats what you want...strange

[Dusk1983]

You believe that because some women cheat, every woman cheats. Your wife is a woman (I presume). Therefore, you believe that your wife cheats on you.

 

You also believe that if a woman cheats (which is every woman, including your wife), the proper response by her husband is to cheat on her.

 

That proves that you cheat on your wife.

 

And every minute that you are not busy cheating on her, you spend here, going out of your way to slander women you don't know and poison people's relationships. I pity your wife. Her life must be a living hell. Good thing the first one escaped with her life.

 

As for strangers smiling being enough to make a woman cheat: Pal, if I were you, I'd be more worried about spending every waking minute indulging my paranoia and hatred of women while my wife remains ... ahem ... neglected, if you know what I mean. One of the most basic preventive measures against having your spouse stray is, you know, giving them some lovin' on a regular basis. I suggest you get to it. Unless, of course, you enjoy prattling on how much you hate women more than you enjoy sex with someone who actually cares for you despite your Everest-sized flaws, which wouldn't surprise me.

 

Woggle, I think that's the sound of you being well and truly 'owned'.

 

Every one of your 18000 posts on LS dovetails back to the same paranoid and predictable point; it's incredibly depressing but, more insidiously, it also feeds and panders to the natural insecurities felt by perfectly normal people within relationships - especially impressionable young men easily seduced by views that abdicate themselves of responsibility for their relationship failures.

 

Much like some of LS' more overtly misogynistic posters, this makes you a malign presence on the forum, but at least they are quite obviously caricatured and thus can be more-or-less ignored - whereas you hide your mistrust and hatred of women under a facade of rationality and this guise of 'hurt once, now happily married'.

 

I can't believe anyone would be so stupid as to believe poring over forums and articles dedicated to infidelity could give you a representative view of women's relationship behaviour in general.

 

There's no forum called 'Succesful & Happy Relationship, Would Never Cheat' because it's so normal, so common and so typical that it doesn't require a forum for discussion. Please, for the love of God, think about that.

[Chocolat]

What was your agreement with your fiance about this "break"? I would have a hard time with these contradictory facts, as presented in your OP:

 

• You are engaged to be married
  
• You are going to break up for 6 weeks
  
• You plan to get back together at the end of the 6 weeks
  
• You want to have sex with someone else during the 6 weeks
  

If you are looking for a way out of the engagement, a fling sounds perfect.

[AngelTheSadPanda]

It would break my heart if my boyfriend did that. Actually... recently he did and I am devastated. I'll never forgive him. The terms weren't exactly the same but he broke up with me and had sex right away and now is trying to talk to me again... I am still very in love with him but he permanently violated my trust in doing this. It doesn't matter how you rationalize it... doing this will hurt her and make you feel guilty. If you really feel this strongly about not missing out on a fling... you aren't ready for marriage. Just reading this made me sick to my stomach

 

32 yr old woman

[Mme. Chaucer]

Woggle, I think that's the sound of you being well and truly 'owned'.

 

Every one of your 18000 posts on LS dovetails back to the same paranoid and predictable point; it's incredibly depressing but, more insidiously, it also feeds and panders to the natural insecurities felt by perfectly normal people within relationships - especially impressionable young men easily seduced by views that abdicate themselves of responsibility for their relationship failures.

 

Much like some of LS' more overtly misogynistic posters, this makes you a malign presence on the forum, but at least they are quite obviously caricatured and thus can be more-or-less ignored - whereas you hide your mistrust and hatred of women under a facade of rationality and this guise of 'hurt once, now happily married'.

 

I can't believe anyone would be so stupid as to believe poring over forums and articles dedicated to infidelity could give you a representative view of women's relationship behaviour in general.

 

There's no forum called 'Succesful & Happy Relationship, Would Never Cheat' because it's so normal, so common and so typical that it doesn't require a forum for discussion. Please, for the love of God, think about that.

 

You're smart!

[Woggle]

I was not owned. She accused me of cheating while I never have done so.

 

I admit that maybe I do spend too much time focusing on negative and bad women while I tend to ignore good women. I admit my faults and I am working on them.

[ShannonMI]

I was not owned. She accused me of cheating while I never have done so.

 

I admit that maybe I do spend too much time focusing on negative and bad women while I tend to ignore good women. I admit my faults and I am working on them.

I'm on your side with this Wog. I think OP's fiance would like to screw around as well. Why else would she be ok with splitting for only 6 weeks when they are about to be married? It just sounds fishy to me.

 

It sounds like you've had some bad experiences with women. Your ex is currently in prison for violent behavior. That says a lot. No wonder you don't think highly of some of us. Just don't get wrapped up in the "all women are pieces of sh*t" type of thinking. Not all of us are like that. And I believe you've never cheated on your wife. You've just had issues with women in your past who have most likely cheated on you?? Just a guess. That can make a person very bitter.

[Metis]

I was not owned. She accused me of cheating while I never have done so.

 

If that is true, the only explanation is a lack of guts. Because you went ahead in this thread and encouraged a man to cheat on his fiance as a payback for an imaginary crime she did not commit.

 

I admit that maybe I do spend too much time focusing on negative and bad women while I tend to ignore good women. I admit my faults and I am working on them.

 

Even that is not accurate. The OP's fiance is not a bad woman. She is a woman that you know nothing about, apart from the OP actually telling you that she is wonderful. Yet you nevertheless baselessly accused her of planning to cheat on him. It's not that you focus on negative and bad women -- it's that you accuse women gratuitously of being bad and deserving atrocious treatment, for the hell of it. This is despicable. THAT's the real flaw you should admit and work on. And by "work on", I mean "knock it off".

[norajane]

I think OP's fiance would like to screw around as well. Why else would she be ok with splitting for only 6 weeks when they are about to be married? It just sounds fishy to me.

 

It's all fishy to me. And seems like trolling since the OP hasn't posted since starting his 3 threads on this topic.

[norajane]

If that is true, the only explanation is a lack of guts. Because you went ahead in this thread and encouraged a man to cheat on his fiance as a payback for an imaginary crime she did not commit.

 

I find that so bizarre since HE was the one who suggested splitting up, and HE is the one posting here saying he wants to have a fling.

 

Wogs, you completely ignored that and went straight to what you imagine HER actions are/would be. Why do that when HE posted on wanting to cheat?

 

Anyway, like I said, I think this guy is just trying to wind everyone up since he hasn't even posted in his own threads.

[Woggle]

I'm on your side with this Wog. I think OP's fiance would like to screw around as well. Why else would she be ok with splitting for only 6 weeks when they are about to be married? It just sounds fishy to me.

 

It sounds like you've had some bad experiences with women. Your ex is currently in prison for violent behavior. That says a lot. No wonder you don't think highly of some of us. Just don't get wrapped up in the "all women are pieces of sh*t" type of thinking. Not all of us are like that. And I believe you've never cheated on your wife. You've just had issues with women in your past who have most likely cheated on you?? Just a guess. That can make a person very bitter.

 

I fully agree. Thank you for understanding. I have said it many times on this thread but my ex first went to prison for trying to shoot my current wife and I and now she is in prison for robbing a Dunkin Donuts and pistol whipping an old woman behind the counter. She is also a serious drug addict and her own sister hated her guts so she is far from being a victim. She also cheated on me with countless men.

 

I admit I might have jumped the gun on this thread but when I hear about these trips I do get it in my head that the woman will probably cheat. Women are known for doing things while away from home and I suppose men are as well.

[ShannonMI]

I fully agree. Thank you for understanding. I have said it many times on this thread but my ex first went to prison for trying to shoot my current wife and I and now she is in prison for robbing a Dunkin Donuts and pistol whipping an old woman behind the counter. She is also a serious drug addict and her own sister hated her guts so she is far from being a victim. She also cheated on me with countless men.

 

I admit I might have jumped the gun on this thread but when I hear about these trips I do get it in my head that the woman will probably cheat. Women are known for doing things while away from home and I suppose men are as well.

Wow the ex from hell!! How scary. Yes both men AND women cheat. This whole story is just odd to me. It could totally be a troll. But truth is sometimes stranger then fiction. Normal people about to wed would not be breaking up for 6 weeks. It just doesn't happen that way.

[Metis]

I'm on your side with this Wog. I think OP's fiance would like to screw around as well. Why else would she be ok with splitting for only 6 weeks when they are about to be married? It just sounds fishy to me,

 

I think it's a big mistake to make an assumption like that. It's far more likely she agreed to this because she loves him, or is scared of him breaking off the engagement completely, and feels that agreeing to this is the only way she can salvage the relationship. The world is full of women who tolerate all kinds of terrible behavior, not just cheating but even physical abuse because it's been drilled into their heads that they have to preserve their relationships at all costs (not to mention the fact that being 30 and never married is a fate worse than death).

 

It's also likely that the whole thing was worded to her in a way that her understanding of what her fiance intends to do is vague. After all, saying "I want to think and gain some perspective on our relationship" is not quite the same as saying "I want to **** some other woman while you are out of town." And yes you can argue that the former implies the latter -- but when a person's word choice is less than clear, it is precisely intended to put the woman (in this case) in a situation where she is called upon to agree to something that may be intolerable but subject to plausible deniability, yet arguing against it would make her a controlling bitch.

 

More than that, think about the overall picture. The OP comes here and says that he asked his fiance if they could temporarily separate while she is overseas. He states that during this time he would like to have a fling (mind you, he didn't say he told her this). He added that he loves his fiance and thinks she is a wonderful person. And what's the reaction to his statements? Why, attack the woman. You "bet" she'll cheat, because, I suppose, there is absolutely no way a woman would go to Europe for any reason whatsoever, except casual sex. Woggle "bets" that not only will she cheat, but will do so "left and right", in massive orgies, because heh, women. Let's see: is there anything else we can "bet" she'll do, being unsupervised and (gasp!) in Europe? I think we can't really paint a compelling enough picture of her without "betting" she'll drown cute innocent puppies in the Seine while laughing maniacally. And perform six abortions, one per week.

 

(Europe: I guess it's a land with no universities, no research institutions, no big corporations, no business, no creative projects. Instead, it's just one non-stop, conveyor-belt-like sex party, and the only thing "Europeans" ever do, EVER, is ****. There's literally nothing else.)

[Woggle]

I find that so bizarre since HE was the one who suggested splitting up, and HE is the one posting here saying he wants to have a fling.

 

Wogs, you completely ignored that and went straight to what you imagine HER actions are/would be. Why do that when HE posted on wanting to cheat?

 

Anyway, like I said, I think this guy is just trying to wind everyone up since he hasn't even posted in his own threads.

 

I was letting my extreme mistrust of women color my view. I just get sick of good men getting screwed so I admit part of me was what's good for the gander is good for the goose. Isn't that what women say whenever a man gets cheated on?

[OnyxSnowfall]

I was not owned. She accused me of cheating while I never have done so.

 

I admit that maybe I do spend too much time focusing on negative and bad women while I tend to ignore good women. I admit my faults and I am working on them.

 

You're working on making them bigger and more ingrained, anyway.

[xxoo]

I was letting my extreme mistrust of women color my view. I just get sick of good men getting screwed so I admit part of me was what's good for the gander is good for the goose. Isn't that what women say whenever a man gets cheated on?

 

If your wife went away for business, would you cheat on her? What if people on LS (reality check: this place is about as "real" as Jersey Shore!) told you she was definitely cheating, even having no evidence of that whatsoever?

 

Are YOU for real, Woggle??? You're bringing down my opinion of married men :X

[Woggle]

If your wife went away for business, would you cheat on her? What if people on LS (reality check: this place is about as "real" as Jersey Shore!) told you she was definitely cheating, even having no evidence of that whatsoever?

 

Are YOU for real, Woggle??? You're bringing down my opinion of married men :X

 

I was just angry when I encouraged him to cheat. I was reading a forum where women were pretty much high fiving each other about it and I was really pissed off at women. I have since calmed down.

[norajane]

I was letting my extreme mistrust of women color my view. I just get sick of good men getting screwed so I admit part of me was what's good for the gander is good for the goose. Isn't that what women say whenever a man gets cheated on?

 

No, that isn't what women say whenever a man gets cheated on. That's why you imagine them to say. That may be what a small percentage of crappy women say. But not all women or even most women.

[ShannonMI]

I think it's a big mistake to make an assumption like that. It's far more likely she agreed to this because she loves him, or is scared of him breaking off the engagement completely, and feels that agreeing to this is the only way she can salvage the relationship. The world is full of women who tolerate all kinds of terrible behavior, not just cheating but even physical abuse because it's been drilled into their heads that they have to preserve their relationships at all costs (not to mention the fact that being 30 and never married is a fate worse than death).

 

It's also likely that the whole thing was worded to her in a way that her understanding of what her fiance intends to do is vague. After all, saying "I want to think and gain some perspective on our relationship" is not quite the same as saying "I want to **** some other woman while you are out of town." And yes you can argue that the former implies the latter -- but when a person's word choice is less than clear, it is precisely intended to put the woman (in this case) in a situation where she is called upon to agree to something that may be intolerable but subject to plausible deniability, yet arguing against it would make her a controlling bitch.

 

More than that, think about the overall picture. The OP comes here and says that he asked his fiance if they could temporarily separate while she is overseas. He states that during this time he would like to have a fling (mind you, he didn't say he told her this). He added that he loves his fiance and thinks she is a wonderful person. And what's the reaction to his statements? Why, attack the woman. You "bet" she'll cheat, because, I suppose, there is absolutely no way a woman would go to Europe for any reason whatsoever, except casual sex. Woggle "bets" that not only will she cheat, but will do so "left and right", in massive orgies, because heh, women. Let's see: is there anything else we can "bet" she'll do, being unsupervised and (gasp!) in Europe? I think we can't really paint a compelling enough picture of her without "betting" she'll drown cute innocent puppies in the Seine while laughing maniacally. And perform six abortions, one per week.

(Europe: I guess it's a land with no universities, no research institutions, no big corporations, no business, no creative projects. Instead, it's just one non-stop, conveyor-belt-like sex party, and the only thing "Europeans" ever do, EVER, is ****. There's literally nothing else.)

 

OK, OK I got it. This thread was probably started by a troll. He's getting what he wants by getting all of us fired up. We're all fighting over this more then likely fictional story. And everyone is bitching Woggle out. Troll Boy got what he wanted. Enough already. This thread is a f*cking joke. I'm done posting and giving this troll what he wants:rolleyes: I suggest the rest of you do the same.

[dasein]

If that is true, the only explanation is a lack of guts. Because you went ahead in this thread and encouraged a man to cheat on his fiance as a payback for an imaginary crime she did not commit.

 

What a self-serving lie. Woggle most certainly did not do this. No rationalization can get around the plain fact of OP that if two people agree to a break, there is no possibility either of them can cheat during that break. So whether you think it's totally wise or not is one thing and admittedly subject to debate. It sure as hell is not "cheating" as the term is commonly understood by rational adults.

 

The world is full of all sorts of nontraditional agreements between relationship partners, open relationships, open marriages, the variations are endless. If two people agree to a break in their relationships, what earthly interpretation of "break" is there other than a break from sexual exclusivity? You can FB flirt? ask for a phone number or give one out? take them to a show? BS. These aren't teenagers and we don't live in 1950. A "break" among adults is a break from sexual exclusivity unless specifically described otherwise.

 

So OP and SO agree to a break while she is overseas. To reiterate, they both agree. Outside of fuzzy illogic, the analysis ends there. Anything goes... within reason, and regardless of whether you think it wise or not, good policy, whatever, OP DIDN'T ASK THAT. He asked if it was cheating. Now if OP goes out and sleeps with 20 women, SO may decide to exclude him because she feels he may not be ready for marriage. That's a different can of worms, and different than expressing the desire for a fling before making a lifelong commitment.

 

And though we don't know her intentions of course, SHE COULD FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY IN DESIRING A FLING FOR HERSELF. There are no grounds whatsoever to think she would be devastated, or even put out by the natural consequences of agreeing to a break just because YOU would. One thing is for sure, in all likelihood, GF will have a much easier time finding flings than OP, and could literally engage in 20 to his one. If she in fact did that, would the "placard waving" crowd here crucify her for going far beyond the intent of the "break?" Of course not, things would get real legalistic real fast around here, "well he asked for the break, even if she had sex with 30 guys that's... her... prerogative." Don't bother lying and disputing that.