franci03 Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Even though...I still haven't moved out?!? And he still thinks I'm lying about having a miscarriage?!? I went to the Dr. yesterday for my follow-up appointment and got a Dr.'s note...to give him...but since he still feels I'm lying and doesn't want to talk to me...obviously since he is ignoring my texts and fb messages...guess I just don't know what to do. I want to prove to him I haven't lied to him about a thing...and I have nothing to hide...and since I still need to pack my stuff and move out. I know everything is safe right where it is...he isnt' the kind of guy that would throw my stuff out or destroy it or anything...so I'm not worried bout that...just don't want him to think I'm leaving it there for any reason...
Rorschach64 Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 If you have the appropriate medical documents saying so and you tried showing him, which resulted him in saying you're a liar still then you've done all you can. He will come to you if he wants to listen to the truth. Seems to me during some break ups dumpers tend to victimize themselves and only want to see/hear what they want so they can feel justified with ending it. They have to calm down later down the road and realize they were crap burgers, thus then you may get a chance to explain yourself then.
AlexisMacabre Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 he seems like a butt hole to me, seriously yeah there are some crazy people that lie about that kinda stuff but really its nothing to even be lying about and if he doesnt believe you hes stupid, try to catch him when hes around and let him have it, thats the only way i think you can get him to pay attention to you about this. then when you have a chance get your belonging and take off. if he cant be compassionate about the baby you just lost then he isnt worth worrying yourself over. thats all i can say for now. good luck girl and im sorry for your loss!
Author franci03 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 If you have the appropriate medical documents saying so and you tried showing him, which resulted him in saying you're a liar still then you've done all you can. He will come to you if he wants to listen to the truth. Seems to me during some break ups dumpers tend to victimize themselves and only want to see/hear what they want so they can feel justified with ending it. They have to calm down later down the road and realize they were crap burgers, thus then you may get a chance to explain yourself then. That's just it...I do have it...haven't had a chance to show him yet, because at the moment...he wont' talk to me...at all. All I want right now is to make him realize that he was being an ass treating me the way he has through all of this...I even told him yesterday I wish he would have just gone with me...to my appointments...does he really think I wanted to go through any of that alone?!? Um...NO! I guess that makes sense though...if he actually finds out the truth...he will feel like a total ass for treating me like **** through a time when I was already hurting enough. Just sucks...cause I want to give him the proof...but at the same time...I want him to come to me for the truth...maybe time really will make a difference in this case, I don't know
Author franci03 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 he seems like a butt hole to me, seriously yeah there are some crazy people that lie about that kinda stuff but really its nothing to even be lying about and if he doesnt believe you hes stupid, try to catch him when hes around and let him have it, thats the only way i think you can get him to pay attention to you about this. then when you have a chance get your belonging and take off. if he cant be compassionate about the baby you just lost then he isnt worth worrying yourself over. thats all i can say for now. good luck girl and im sorry for your loss! He's really not a bad guy...he is an amazing man...I know he was as scared when all of this started as I was...but he just has a really lousy way of dealing with it! Plus he's letting a friend influence his every thought...and decision right now. I really want to say to his friend...you know what...leave him alone...and let him think for himself...but...that'd make it worse! I keep trying to tell myself not to care what anybody thinks...but I truly do care...because this man is my soulmate...i want to give him all the time he needs...and hopefully find our ways back to each other. I don't want to end any of this with him thinking I'm lying...because then he will just resent me...and hate me...and never ever want me back..you know...?!?! That's one of the main reasons I feel I need to prove I've been honest with him...about EVERYTHING
Rorschach64 Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 You got documentation, a pieces of paper, so slap it down in front of him. No words are necessary. Oh and make multiple photocopies just in case. Why is he acting like this anyway? The miscarriage? As far as the friends comment; that's on him for being so bloody weak! I know where you are coming from, my ex-fiancee's friend supported her no matter how wrong she was. Does it ever come to a point with friends where they say "Holy craparoni, you're jacked up! Stop being an idiot!" ? On the flip side, I know I listened to a point with my friends, they accuse my ex of being the devil but I know she isn't, she is just a person that is confused. But yeah, if throwing the documentation in his face doesn't work without you saying anything then he has to come to you at that point looking for the truth.
Author franci03 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 Oh...I've made a copy trust me. And it's not like I couldn't just show up at our house...I just have enough respect to ask before I go over...just like I know he will be working tomorrow...he's a sound tech so it will be at a public place...I could easily get all dolled up and go out...to where he will be...but I know he's working...and I have to respect that...ya know!?! Guess I could just mail him a copy...I don't know! He's acting the way he is...because yes...the breakup was hard on me...and I did try to convince him for another chance...begged...promised things would change and what not...but I think he is honestly acting the way he is...first because when I found out I was pregnant...he was scared...but then his friend (who is actually female...his best friends wife) told him that my situation couldn't have happned the way it did...that the there was no way I was pregnant...and had a miscarriage...and that I was lying. Maybe he was in denial..and believer her was just easier...I don't know And I understand he wants to believe his friends right now...espeically over me...but we were together for a year and a half...he knows me probably better than I know myself...and he knows I'm not that person! And right now it is just starting to piss me off...because I've gone through hell since the breakup...right now...I don't want him back...i still love him...and care for him...and do hope that we end up back together...but I want him to realize how good we had it when we were together...and to miss me...and what not...that way if we do get back together...he will appreciate it...and me that much more. That's why I hate letting him go...at this moment when he has so many negative ideas and feelings for me!
Rorschach64 Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Well to be honest, I think best idea is to send the documentation via mail and go no contact and try to move on with your life. It is also a good thing for yourself to write a letter with the documentation about your feelings about everything, I know I did this, and just move on. He probably won't respond, I know I got the same treatment, but oh well you tried right? Begging, pleading, and what not is all naturally fine to do. We are only human after all, not perfect. It is best to look towards the future, work on yourself, and maybe he comes back, maybe he doesn't. If he does come back will you even care at that time?
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