still inlove with my eX boyfriend and now he wants me to be his friend...

[ghett0fab2003]

I was with this guy James for 2 ½ years. We were in love and happy with a few minor problems. We were really in love and had talked about moving in together next year when I go to college and getting married. He already told people i was his wife - in a joking way. he always said if we were a few years older he wouldve asked me to marry him already.

It was love at first sight. I knew quickly that he was my soul mate and the one I want ot marry. I know it is true love because I no longer feel complete without him. Ever since he left me my whole world has fallen apart and I’ve been very depressed. Him and I got very close and became best friends. We learned to use each other as a support system.

Then, over night things got weird and he eventually stopped talking to me all together for a week. When I finally got a hold of him I had to force it out of him to break up with me. He told me he wanted to be friends, which seemed to be ok for a while. He came to visit me 1 week after the break up and promised to come and see me once a week.

The weeks went by and he kept putting off seeing me. His mood was always changing by the week. One week he’d act as though he still loved me and the next week he would act like he hated me. Finally things got really bad and after he yelled at me for no reason we stopped talking.

One week later he called me back and told me he was sorry and how he has met another girl (this is about a month after the break up) and that it had made him realize that he really had true love with me and with her it was puppy love. So I am guesed he called me once things with her failed. He told me he wanted to be friends and he would be interested in ‘hanging out’ with me again. After that he would call me every day. He would talk to me about all this problems and I was always there to listen. Everyone told me to leave him alone and that if he loved me he would come back. I thought that was why he called me... i thought he was starting to see that he did want to be with me. After a week of things going on like this I asked him to come over. Things started to get very close.

A lot of things happened that day. I confessed my love for him and he said he had feelings for me, too, but no longer feelings of love like he used to. He told me that someday that he may love me again but not now. He told me I am not everything he wants anymore and he has talked about wanting to be more ‘extreme’ and meeting new people. Things started to get romantic. I asked him to spend the night and somehow it turned into an argument because I didn’t want him to leave angry. We ended up making up and he left for home at 1 am and told me he wanted to see me the next day.

I thought we were really starting to get to a point where we could work things out. We had a lot of fun. We ended up having sex. For some reason I thought sex would bring us back together but it didn’t. He acted as if he was falling for me again but after that I started to talk to him less and avoided him the whole weekend.

then I started talking to him again but just as friends. Neither of us have brought up what had happened that day. But slowely we both stared talking less and less as we both become preoccupied with our own lives.

it has now been a week since i last talked to him at all besides on quick email i sent him. he wrote me back and he as sorry he hadnt been calling me but he wanted to elimiante the phone from his life right now becaue he is trying to get over his drug addiction to pot because he thinks it is getting in the way of his goals but he said he still wanted to talk to me soon and that as soon as he gets a car he will be comming to see me and thanked me for being 'the best friend" i wrote him back telling him that i want to be here for him but im donen being hurt and walked all over

 

it has now been 2 months since weve broken up and everytime I have attempted to get over him, i have failed. i feel like i cant live without him and i am still so inlove with him, but most of all i worry about him a lot. I think he may be making a mistake and he has questioned that, too. I really want to be able to work things out later on, and even though he told me before that in future maybe he would, too, i wonder if there is anypoint in it now. I am only being his friends because i still love him and i am afraid of getting hurt. lately i have been thinking that the reason why he hasnt called me is because he got yet another girl and the he will only call me when he doesnt have another girl to talk to. No doubt i did a lot of stupid things in the past to months, but i want to know what i can do now and if there is anything i can do to fix things or to attempet to work things out with him later on. I think that once he figures things out in his life we may still be able work things out. Can any help me? Is there anything i can do? I dont want to live a life without him.. it hurts

[helpme231]

sounds like me and my ex husband.....just go get you someone new....that seems to help a whole lot.

[ghett0fab2003]

It's not like i havent tried to. I have gotten offers but nothing seems to work. All i can think about when i am with a guy is how much i wished it were my eX.

 

I kinda want to still wait around for him because you see.. he is a Sr in High School and he jsut turned 18 and i think he thinks that i am to young and that i am holding him down. I just think that with all the stuff he is going through that he really just cant handel being with me but i know that there is something still there...

 

every time i have seen him i can always still feel this energy between us.. he told me he is afriad to love me agian wich probibly means that he is forcing himself not to....

 

and the fact that he always tells me how wonderful i am and that he doesnt want to lose me from his life forever on top of him saying he could love me again someday...

it all tempts me into sticking around...

[Kobefied27]

That is the worst feeling in the world. I'm in the same boat....they want to fall in love but not fall in love right now. Given that is probably a good way to think it, but love happens when you least expect it. And I'm the kind of guy who if he gets something great I'm not letting it go. If you feel you guys have a chance still, keep that hope alive but dont limit yourself from having fun. You dont have to date because that'll just come in time. But go out have fun spend time with your friends and family who happen to be your greatest ally in this situation. And smile, it makes the day go better.

[ghett0fab2003]

You are right. I know.

 

But how do i know if we still have a chance. I cannot just take his word for it because after he told me we could get back together someday we have hardly talked at all.

 

i keep thinking that he just needs time to realize if he wants to be with me, but how long dose that take?

 

I would be willing to wait for him to come around but im not willing to waste my time for somethin gthat isnt going to happen. It is hard to enjoy life when the person you love is basiclly asking you to hang around 'jsut in case' because that is really how it sounds with the whole.. "i might love you but not right now" BS

 

and yes, he told me he jsut doesnt want love right now yet only a few weeks after we broke up he told me he started to think that he was falling for another girl but it didnt work out. And then he told me about how he doesnt think being single is really him. So i think he lies. I think he does want to love. Just not to love me..

 

but how do i know?

[Paradise]

You need to forget about him and move on. He doesn’t want to use the phone b/c he doesn't want to get your call while he's with another girl. He has a new g/f and it's not you. So, it's time for you to get a new b/f. Love heals only if you let it.