Mr.NiceGuy Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 Well, I need a little help. I have gotten myself into a long-distance relationship with a woman I work with. She lives in Montreal, and I live in Boston, about 6 hours away driving. We spent about a month talking constantly at work, before moving the relationship on to home. We spent the next two months attached to the phone, spending 2-3 hours a night, and 5-6 hours a day/night on the weekends talking to each other. I have never been in a serious relationship, and she has had a couple, with one spanning almost 8 years. They have been broken up for almost a year and a half(I am 30, she is 27). She has used terms such as "Man I have been looking for all my life" "Too good to be true" and "I am the Man of her dreams." We finally decided to meet, and we spent the weekend together in Montreal. I was introduced to her best friend and met the parents. She seemed a little distant on the last day of our trip. I believe I was a total gentleman on the trip, and did everything the "good boyfriend" should do. Upon arriving home, we spoke, and she told me it wasn't going to work. She thought she was ready for a serious relationship, but spending all the time with me, she realized she wasn't ready to move on, as she still has feelings for her ex. I guess he broke up with her, and she doesn't feel the relationship ended on her terms. She claims I am truly what she is looking for, and was not a disappointment in person, but doesn't want to hurt me, by not being able to provide me with the love and support that I am willing to provide her. I got the thumbs up from both her girlfriend and her parents, and they were both not happy with her decision. I told her I am not ready to give up on her, and our relationship. We still speak at work, and still spend tons of time on the phone at night. I truly think she has strong feelings for me, but I am not too sure what to do next. I certainly don't want to pressure her into doing anything. I am hoping that she will realize what she can have with me, as opposed to the ex who has broken up with her in the past. Do I contact her girlfriend for a little info? I also don't want to chase my tail in circles. I truly feel this girl is special. Any advice?
hurtingandconfused Posted May 21, 2004 Posted May 21, 2004 I told her I am not ready to give up on her, and our relationship. Don't push her away. You cannot "win" someone's heart it has to happen naturally. It's hard to start a relationship when you still have feeling for the ex. You have to let her go. Sorry, It will hurt now, but it saves you all the agony in the long run.
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