A friend of mine is copying every aspect of my life - how do I handle this maturely?

[elisee8d]

I was alright with it at first, because I understand that hanging out a lot will result in picking things up off of each other, and after all "imitation is the biggest form of flattery," but after this much... it's getting ridiculous.

She's copying every detail of my style and look, personality, etc.. she went as far as to go through my pictures where I was making a bunch of different silly faces, and take some of her own a few days later making every single face that I did - she tries to make her online social networks exactly like mine, she's about to paint her room the same color as mine, I had been posting to my blog about how much I wanted this book, so now she suddenly brought up how she LOVES it and wants it too.. this also goes for anything else I bring up or mention that I like. I started doing my makeup differently, so now she has too. I'm in love with photography and I have a decently expensive camera, and she just decided she's asking for the same one for her christmas, and she knows nothing about/doesn't care for photography at all.

I don't even know what to do. We've been friends for years now, and this is the first time she's ever done this to me.. we're both sophmores in college, so as far as I know it's not any type of "figuring out who she is" thing.. even if it is, there's no reason to copy everything I do.. it's just me, too! I'm the only person she copies. I feel like I'm in middle school again dealing with a "copy-cat." I know pretty well who I am, and I have my own interests, and it would be nice for her to find some of her own . Even my boyfriend is getting irritated with it, and he doesn't ever want her to be out with us anymore because she makes it very obvious how much she's trying to be like me. He had said she's probably only doing it because she sees that I'm in a good relationship, happy, and well liked. That might be it, but I just CAN'T stand it anymore.. it's making me want nothing to do with her and to stop hanging out with her, she just tries to hard to sound, look, and act like me and it frustrates the crap out of me. What do I do? Any similar stories?

[elisee8d]

lmaoooo, i switch up my style alot b/cus of this, even phrases i have to retire cuz they get jacked

 

Haha I wish it was just my style, it's literally everything.. it's taken me a while to put that together and find out what looks good on me, and she's just coming along and ripping off all of that. Honestly, she's a bigger girl - much bigger than I am, and the things I wear don't always suit her, like stockings with shorts or t-shirts tucked in at the front and loose everywhere else.. she can't even wear a leather jacket properly because she got it way too small since mine is tiny, she just thinks since things look nice on me they'll look good on her too? But it clearly doesn't work like that..

[CarrieT]

it's making me want nothing to do with her and to stop hanging out with her, she just tries to hard to sound, look, and act like me and it frustrates the crap out of me. What do I do? Any similar stories?

 

You can do one of two things:

 

1. Have a serious heart-to-heart with her and point out all the things she is copying from you and how hurtful it is to you. Be open, honest, and not accusatory or nasty; just truthful about what you are seeing.

 

2. Start getting into really freaky things that she wouldn't consider: watch Sumo wrestling, become obsessed with the raw/vegan food movement, wear only black and become a goth, start reading subversive literature and talk about joining a radical political group, start attending AA meetings and discuss your dependency, start learning a foreign language with the intent of joining the U.S Foreign Service department, etc... Then point out the absurdity of it all and how she has copied your every phony interest.

[Niagara Falls]

You can do one of two things:

 

1. Have a serious heart-to-heart with her and point out all the things she is copying from you and how hurtful it is to you. Be open, honest, and not accusatory or nasty; just truthful about what you are seeing.

 

2. Start getting into really freaky things that she wouldn't consider: watch Sumo wrestling, become obsessed with the raw/vegan food movement, wear only black and become a goth, start reading subversive literature and talk about joining a radical political group, start attending AA meetings and discuss your dependency, start learning a foreign language with the intent of joining the U.S Foreign Service department, etc... Then point out the absurdity of it all and how she has copied your every phony interest.

 

more specifically with number 2. find the things she likes herself most and start liking/doing/saying the opposite. she wont turn against she's into herself.

 

or do something that she cant stick with. (photography is one she will probably give up on pretty quick as you cant just start being a photographer by buying a camera)

 

after this, just like the above, point it out to her as truthfully as you can and show her how its going too far

[florence of suburbia]

shes your mini me

 

Honestly, she's a bigger girl - much bigger than I am

 

Actually, she's your "Maxi Me". She's the better value too, since she offers the same product at twice the volume.

 

Joking aside, try not to focus on it. Everyone will be able to tell who is the original and who is the copy.

[DreamHisGirl]

How old are you and how old is your friend?