nevadagirl Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Hi. I've been broken up with the ex just about two months but our relationship was always rocky and we've broken up a lot throughout it. He left me "for real" several times - usually for about a month and you know the same old sad story - I took him back everytime. This time felt different. I didn't find myself as crushed as all the other times. Maybe I was getting used to it - maybe I was finally ready to move on. It took him 2 weeks to start trying to talk to me again. Not trying to get back together - just wants to be able to talk to me I guess. But - I mean he has to know by now - that that is painful for me. Everytime we've been through this I say the same thing - it hurts to talk to you, etc etc. I even asked him to block me this time (again lasted like 2 weeks) Since then he has consistently sent me one liner emails or invites to gchat. I made the mistake of talking to him once - then realized the conversation was awkward and empty and shallow and it just made me sad. So I just switched main emails so to him it would appear I suppose that I just disappeared. I check the email though as everything in my life is tied to it and like I said he sends these one liners. One night he sent me, what I feel, was a malicious email - but for all I know considering he's a complete Stranger he was just being serious. He said if I wanted to **** sometime that would be cool and sent me a picture of himself taken from his laptop - in some house I didn't recognize wearing some necklace I'd never seen. I ignored it but it really hurt my feelings. I tell myself he has to know that I wouldn't be like "sure lets **** sometime!" and that he was acting out of spite for ignoring him but - WHO KNOWS?! He reenabled his old okcupid account to send me a dumb message on there and when I didn't respond I think he got the hint he was being ignored so he sent me one other message saying sorry for bothering you but you know me lonely and prone to impulse (wouldn't impulse be like a one time thing though? /shrug) and hopes I'm doing well (even though he'd hurt my feelings two days before?) I ignored all this. So he deleted or disabled that account and I thought maybe he was done but then a week later he sent me a happy halloween email - but of course had to drop little tidbits about what he'd been up to. But hoped my halloween was great! I don't want to know about his life. It hurts. I finally sucked it up and I created a filter that automatically trashed and deleted any emails he sent. I felt bad about it - I never thought I'd just have to pretend like he was dead. I don't know why I thought that would be it. Tonight I come home and he's created a new dating profile (which he certainly has every right to do) but he immediately views mine so I couldn't help but know he was there. I looked at it, which was dumb, because it just made me sadder. And he wrote some stuff on it that I think maybe was targeted at me but I honestly have no ****ing clue anymore. "Reliably Disappointing Boyfriend looking for blablabla to have disastrous relationship we will both Remember Forever" "All my exes hate me" "Message me if you want to see how fast we can go from deepest infactuation to utter resentment. See if we can break our own personal records!" I just want someone to say something to make me feel better - I already know - just ignore it, don't let it get to me, keep up the NC. Sometimes I think I'm never going to get over this.
EgoJoe Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 He spelled infatuation wrong on his profile. You deserve better than his garbage. It's going to be ok...eventually. I promise.
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