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what is he thinking?


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Posted

I originally posted this in the friends/lovers section but decided to move it in hopes of obtaining more advice.

 

I am seeking advice or opinions on what you think of this situation. I am not looking for judgments or criticisms on the fact that I have a boyfriend.

 

I have met a guy that I like but am having a hard time figuring out what he is feeling—if I am “friend zoned” or if things are just way too complicated.

Here are some of the bullet points issues:

 

We both work together in some aspect/have the same circle of people (we just met a few months ago).

 

He knew up front that I have a boyfriend.

 

We’ve become very close, hanging out a lot—lunches, dinners, coffee/teas, movies, etc. (weekdays, weekends, nights..)

 

He never asked about the boyfriend—I brought up being unhappy a few weeks ago but he seemed to not want to get into it. Now he realizes I am unhappy with my current situation but we have not talked about it that much.

 

We are more than ten years apart in age.

 

He’s very much a gentleman in the sense of being cordial, always wanting to pay for things, etc.

 

Because he is a gentleman, I doubt he’d make a move with me having a boyfriend. It’s not that I want him to make a physical move but I wish I knew his intentions. (Please again, I don’t need lecturing on the fact that I have a boyfriend).

 

If I touch his arm or sit close to him or something of that nature he does not pull away but does not initiate.

 

 

Does a man just want a friend and spend this much time with them, is that normal? Is he buying his time hoping for something more but not making a move because of all of the variables at play (boyfriend, work, age)?

 

Any advice would be appreciated.

Posted

There is a girl I work with who has a boyfriend and I am quite comfortable spending one on one time with her and I would safely assume she is comfortable around me. That being said, I would never dream of making a move on her. The relationship started out platonic and has remained so because I respect her relationship. Just assume he wants to be only friends unless he makes an affirmative action to show otherwise.

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