Woggle Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I had to meet with one of our clients from work today and I was waiting a good forty five minutes to an hour because he had an emergency call. They had on a station that didn't play anything past the 80s and every other song was a man just pouring his heart out to and gushing over a woman. Just put on your local oldies station and see what kind of songs men used to write about women and the kind of movies men used to make. Many of these guys sounded like they would take a bullet for a woman they loved. People act like men in the past were just a bunch of non-emotional cave men who used women like tools but the reality seems to be much different.
Cee Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I totally agree that many men are romantic. I have collected countless stories of romance from my own life and that of female friends and family. My brother-in-law is the king of romance. He planned the most amazing surprise party for my sister's 40th. My sister is too smart and knew there would be a surprise party. Therefore, he planned a fake surprise party and then had a real party the next day. And then sprung a romantic trip with her in Florida and leaving their two children with the grandparents. My brother-in-law is amazing and I am so glad my sister met him. (My BF is pretty good in the romance part too, but he's not as delightfully devious about it)
Wolf18 Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Many years ago men had a reason to be romantic; women were devoted and loyal wives and mothers who made us food, cared for our children and nurtured us when we needed a pat on the back. Now that women have been told that this is oppressive patriarchy by the frankfurt school of marxism and big capitalists who want to flood the labor market so that they can get two people to work for the price of one, we are still romantic but men quickly learn how fruitless of an investment it is to be so.
Author Woggle Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 I listen to the top 40 station and it's like men and women don't even like each other anymore.
Pyro Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I listen to the top 40 station and it's like men and women don't even like each other anymore. Top 40 is in it for the money. Its obvious that love songs don't do that. Country still has plenty of love songs.
Taramere Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 It's obvious men are more romantic than women. Women get romanced, Men romance. What romantic things do women usually do to men? I can't come up with anything... They recieve romance. Women are sentimental with eachother, giving little gifts, flowers, "thinking about you" messages and so on. That's a form of romance, you could say. Do you and your male friends do that with eachother?
Taramere Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I don't see that as romance. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/romance 1. a. A love affair. b. Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love 1. a love affair, esp an intense and happy but short-lived affair involving young people 2. love, esp romantic love idealized for its purity or beauty 1. To make love to; court or woo. 2 . To have a love affair with. What you are talking about is not really romance, not per defention. Even if it was, it only goes to show women would be "romantic" with each other... not with men. I don't think a dictionary definition of romance is going to tell us an awful lot. Romance novels. Who tends to read them? Who tends to write them? Romantic films. Do women sit down and watch romantic films and comedies together? Do men? If I want to do something for a male friend that he'll appreciate (leaving sexual acts out of the equation) then it will probably involve appealing to stereotypically male interests. If I give my gay male friend flowers and boxes of chocolates he'll be delighted. The other men I know, whether or not I were romantically involved in them, don't tend to be the kind of men who want to get flowers or little love notes. Romance involves trying to do nice things for another person that indicate you understand how they tick and know what they want. It could be that the kind of men I'm used to are drastically different from the men who post on Loveshack and are disgruntled/disillusioned with the dating world. Perhaps some of the more disgruntled men really do want flowers, chocolates and soft classical music to be played to them on a violin. My real world experience of men is that they tend to appreciate gestures of care and affection that are encompassed in practical favours rather than little sentimental touches...and that the latter might even leave them feeling embarrassed or a bit claustrophobic.
Pierre Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 OP: Many women feel diminished by romantic gestures by men. This is the end result of equality of the genders. Many women here hate to have a man pay for dinner. Many other women insist on the 50/50 rule for everything. The fun of courting and romance is gone out the window.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Women are sentimental with eachother, giving little gifts, flowers, "thinking about you" messages and so on. That's a form of romance, you could say. Do you and your male friends do that with eachother? I hope so. That would be so sweet!
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I listen to the top 40 station and it's like men and women don't even like each other anymore. How can we like each other when we are too busy telling each other that *you* (the collective "you") is too old or too poor or too short or too fat to be of any worth. Too many men and women don't really listen or try to understand the otherside. Partly because the otherside doesn't allow them to be that vulnerable before they are shooting them down with how fat or poor they are. So it's a never ending back and forth. They justify crappy behavior toward each other because of their own hurts. If you and me want to see positive change in men and women then we need to practice what we want the world to be. Not be so quick to say "well they "deserve it, because this happened to *me* or this happened to *my friends*.
Taramere Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I'm not debating that women should start buying chocolate and flowers for men. What I am saying. Is that men are more romantic. That's just a fact. I'm sure women do certain things for their man(sometimes) and thats good and all. But There is this sterotype that men are not really romantic. When infact men are way more romantic than women. That's the only thing I'm pointing out. I don't agree at all. There are lots of women out there who write and sing romantic music for and about men. Who create art to express their romantic feelings for men. Their art might often be dismissed or mocked by men because it's regarded as too feminine...but it's there. The fact that it isn't always appreciated or regarded as having any artistic worth doesn't mean it doesn't exist..
zengirl Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I'm not at all a romantic (don't really desire the gushy stuff that way) in terms of sentimentality, but I know many men who are. And some women, though none of the women I'm closest to and lots of the men I'm closest to, interestingly enough. One needs to define "romantic" though. I mean, I don't dig sentimentality or stereotypical romance, but I love to show my affection in a myriad of ways and would, of course, expect that from a partner. I'd rather have a guy who ran out to buy me ginger ale and tums when I was sick or who had my favorite dinner waiting for me when I came home from a long, long day of work + class than a guy who brings me roses, though. Practicality is something I deeply appreciate. I'd rather a man who helped me meet my needs (and I'd do the same for him) than one who went for frills and flash. None of that makes good stories or pop songs, though.
Taramere Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 But women are more often than not on the receiving end of romance. Women are not really as passionate and romantic in their feelings for a man as a mans is for a woman. These are just meaningless blanket statements unless you can flesh them out with illustrative (and factual) examples that will resonate with a wide audience. Such an example might involve referring to popular current music and comparing the percentage of male singers expressing romantic love (for a woman) through their music with the percentage of female singers expressing romantic love for a man. As for depth of feeling, good luck with measuring that. It seems to me that it's very common for people to believe their own feelings run deeper (and are purer, more important/dramatic etc) than other people's.
Thieves Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 But women are more often than not on the receiving end of romance. Women are not really as passionate and romantic in their feelings for a man as a mans is for a woman. To be honest, I call "bull" on this. Romantic things are often done to show the other person you care. But did you ever stop to think of one reason why women are more often on the 'receiving end' of romance? It's because in society, it's already a given that a woman is romantic, that she feels strongly and cares for her partner. "Women are emotional, women are caring, women love 'love' and love their partners." Shocker, yet somewhat true -- whether she shows that by always being there for her partner, listening to him, cooking for him, desiring to be intimate with him, among other things. As women, we are natural caregivers. I can't count the number of times where I've seen women (especially mothers) come here devastated, tell their situations, and get advised by some people to 'pull back' because she's giving too much of herself, or she gave up too much for her partner and isn't putting herself first at all. That to me, while somewhat unhealthy, seems more romantic than just "chocolates, candy, flowers, dinner dates", and what have you. I've also seen a number of joking lists made by men where one of the points was for the woman to "not be too emotional." We're already emotionally sentimental by nature, so if we were to turn around on every corner and also do many obviously romantic things for men -- well, be honest. I don't think too many men would be able to handle that for a long period of time, because they'd soon feel 'suffocated', or that we're being too 'clingy'. I don't deny that men are romantic, but to me it's a bit hard to just pin down which gender is more romantic than the other...
Author Woggle Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 How can we like each other when we are too busy telling each other that *you* (the collective "you") is too old or too poor or too short or too fat to be of any worth. Too many men and women don't really listen or try to understand the otherside. Partly because the otherside doesn't allow them to be that vulnerable before they are shooting them down with how fat or poor they are. So it's a never ending back and forth. They justify crappy behavior toward each other because of their own hurts. If you and me want to see positive change in men and women then we need to practice what we want the world to be. Not be so quick to say "well they "deserve it, because this happened to *me* or this happened to *my friends*. This is true but neither wants to be the first to put down their weapons and extend an olive branch. Things are going to get worse instead of better. Women used to make plenty of love songs as well but these days both genders make songs about how much they hate the opposite sex. Every other song by a female artist these days is some manhating song and every other song by a guy is describing sex in the most degrading terms.
Ilovewater Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 There are people of both sexes who are romantic and not romantic. I don't think you can state a blanket statement saying men are more romantic than women. Personally, I know more men who are most definitely not romantic. Do I think men are not romantic? No, because they are just a small sample that's not representative of the millions of men out there. You may think what you're doing is romantic to the woman, but the woman might not even think it's romantic. People have different definitions of romantic. Personally, I don't care for flowers, love songs, poems, etc. However, it melts my heart when my bf massages my back when I'm having a bad day and makes me dinner when I'm swamped with my studies. In return, I do similar things for him.
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