jebediahm Posted November 2, 2011 Posted November 2, 2011 Ok guys and girls, I need a little advice and some of you might think I am crazy if not all of you. I recently started college and the first night of class I met this girl in class that was going to be a study group partner. We would chat through e-mail sometimes during the day about school stuff. Well the other night when I was walking out to my car to leave, she asks me when I am going to ask her out to dinner. I thought, what the hell how about now? She is cute. So we met up at Wendy's and that is where it started to get weird. She seemed really down so I asked her what was wrong. Well the flood gage opened. I learned in the course of our value menu meal that she was molested as a child and a teenager by her mothers second two husbands. She says that her mother blamed it on her for falling asleep on her mothers bed. She made her hug the men and tell her she was sorry. I also learned that she gave birth to her son her senior year of high school and gave him up for her mother to raise. She is 29 years old and has been divorced three times. In her first two marriages, she gave birth to a daughter. So she has two daughters. After her second divorce, she gave up parental rights and custody so that she could move out of state with some guy for a few months. When she came back she met another guy at another college and married him after knowing him for three months. She divorced him six months ago. She has also had an abortion. Now she only sees her daughters every other weekend because the fathers let her. So, she is 29, divorced three times, has been pregnant four times and does not have custody of one child. Is this two many red flags? LOL! Seriously, she seems nice but I think she may be way too much trouble. There is no way that all of her marriages ended because the gusy were jerks. So, should I run for the hills? Thanks for the advice!
Author jebediahm Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 27 views and no responses? Does everyone think I am crazy? No advice people? Come on, help please!
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Jebediahm...I think you didn't get too many responses because this is a big paragraph to wade through. Sometimes breaking things up can make things easier to read. As for this situation, there are a number of red flags here about this girl-woman. This girl-woman has a lot to work through before she is in any position to be dating. Everyone has baggage but you barely know her and she opened up about very intimate information in a short period of time to someone she is just starting to get know. It's obvious she hasn't fully worked through her issues. She is an emotional mess. And actually, her asking you when you're going to ask you out and then make the "date" about talking about all her past hurts and issues is really pretty selfish. This wasn't about you two connecting and having fun. This was about her desire to talk about her problems with a willing ear. She is 29 with three divorces under her belt and has given up her own children to pursue her own desires. Yes, this is too many red flags. She might be a nice girl. I infact am inclined to believe that her niceness is probably what attracted the other men to her quickly as well. But she is an emotional mess. And she is very selfish. In most cases, past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior. People can change but she she has indulged in the same behavior for the past 10 years. Yes, you should run. And run fast. Because I am inclined to believe that she will drag you through the mud with her emotional issues.
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