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Having a busy schedule and arranging date

PlumPrincess

By PlumPrincess
in General Relationship Discussion

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PlumPrincess Established Member

PlumPrincess

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Let's assume you're someone with a very busy and somewhat unpredictable schedule. How do you arrange dates with friends, partners, love interests, etc.? Do you set up a date and when something comes inbetween you cancel? Or do you inform them that you have a very busy schedule and that you will contact them when you're free hoping that they will also have time for you?

 

I really hate it when people cancel dates. I'd rather have them contact me spontaneously when they have time and when I'm available, too, we can meet. The first option strikes me as completely selfish. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

 

Am I unreasonable?

Edited by PlumPrincess
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PlumPrincess Established Member

PlumPrincess

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Hello? :bunny:

cerridwen Established Member

cerridwen

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Let's assume you're someone with a very busy and somewhat unpredictable schedule. How do you arrange dates with friends, partners, love interests, etc.? Do you set up a date and when something comes in between you cancel? Or do you inform them that you have a very busy schedule and that you will contact them when you're free hoping that they will also have time for you?

 

I really hate it when people cancel dates. I'd rather have them contact me spontaneously when they have time and when I'm available, too, we can meet. The first option strikes me as completely selfish. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

 

Am I unreasonable?

 

Hello!! :bunny:

I admit to being a cancel-er. :o

I work long hours, and my athletics also limits my availability.

In order to train, I'm at the mercy of some unpredictable elements.

Finding time for friends is therefore difficult, so I make fewer and fewer plans.

All have been warned I'm a cancel-er.

Some friends come out to watch me train or partake so these become our "dates".

With others, we opt to keep in touch over email, text, phone, so on.

 

However, I've had friends drift away so you're not alone in your feelings.

Nor do I think you're unreasonable.

Is it selfish? Maybe. :(

But I take a bit of comfort in knowing I make my life goals clear, and let friends know it's nothing personal.

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PlumPrincess Established Member

PlumPrincess

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Hello!! :bunny:

I admit to being a cancel-er. :o

I work long hours, and my athletics also limits my availability.

In order to train, I'm at the mercy of some unpredictable elements.

Finding time for friends is therefore difficult, so I make fewer and fewer plans.

All have been warned I'm a cancel-er.

Some friends come out to watch me train or partake so these become our "dates".

With others, we opt to keep in touch over email, text, phone, so on.

 

However, I've had friends drift away so you're not alone in your feelings.

Nor do I think you're unreasonable.

Is it selfish? Maybe. :(

But I take a bit of comfort in knowing I make my life goals clear, and let friends know it's nothing personal.

Well, it makes me insecure... :o I guess, it that was me, I would just tell people that I had a very busy and erratic schedule and just couldn't make plans without the risk of having to cancel them at the last minute. If I had time, then I would call them spontaneously risking that nobody would have time for me on such a short notice, but at least I didn't interrupt anybody's life. My feeling is that these people like to make sure that there is someone waiting for them, meaning that they will have company for sure, even when it means that when they cancel in the last minute, the other person is now without a plan for the evening and might not be able to find someone else on such a short notice. That's my reasoning, but maybe I'm getting it wrong. If someone else can provide me with a different view on this issue, then you're welcome! :)

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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I'm dealing with the exact same thing from a girl I'm trying to spend more time with.

 

She's always so busy with school.

 

The thing with a really busy woman who makes it hard to see her, it's difficult to tell if she's just using being busy as an excuse to not meet up or if she really is that busy.

 

She's been really hard to meet up with during school this year because she always has some school thing going on. We almost had plans to get together this weekend but she declined citing school as the reason, yet again. What sucks, is that I actually requested the day off from work to hang out Saturday knowing that we were going to hang out that day.

 

I sent her this text,

 

The thing is, you're always going to have papers to write or tests to study for. Everybody in college does. That's why you purposefully have to set aside time for fun or you'll get burnt out.

 

Her reply

 

Yah ok, but that's not happening this week sorry. I really need to write these papers and I got projects towards the end of the semester I need to start researching too >:@

 

(yeah I don't know what she meant by the end characters.)

 

My conclusion is that if a woman actually wanted to spend time with somebody, she would not have any issue setting aside some time, no matter how busy she is. Busy people will always be busy unless they make it a point not to be.

 

What do you ladies think?

Edited by somedude81
cerridwen Established Member

cerridwen

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Posted
Well, it makes me insecure... :o I guess, it that was me, I would just tell people that I had a very busy and erratic schedule and just couldn't make plans without the risk of having to cancel them at the last minute. If I had time, then I would call them spontaneously risking that nobody would have time for me on such a short notice, but at least I didn't interrupt anybody's life. My feeling is that these people like to make sure that there is someone waiting for them, meaning that they will have company for sure, even when it means that when they cancel in the last minute, the other person is now without a plan for the evening and might not be able to find someone else on such a short notice. That's my reasoning, but maybe I'm getting it wrong. If someone else can provide me with a different view on this issue, then you're welcome! :)

 

Ok, now THAT is selfish.

If you "reserve" a friend to ensure against loneliness, only to eventually cancel?

Mean.

 

I'm dealing with the exact same thing from a girl I'm trying to spend more time with.

 

She's always so busy with school.

 

The thing with a really busy woman who makes it hard to see her, it's difficult to tell if she's just using being busy as an excuse to not meet up or if she really is that busy.

 

She's been really hard to meet up with during school this year because she always has some school thing going on. We almost had plans to get together this weekend but she declined citing school as the reason, yet again. What sucks, is that I actually requested the day off from work to hang out Saturday knowing that we were going to hang out that day.

 

I sent her this text,

 

The thing is, you're always going to have papers to write or tests to study for. Everybody in college does. That's why you purposefully have to set aside time for fun or you'll get burnt out.

 

Her reply

 

Yah ok, but that's not happening this week sorry. I really need to write these papers and I got projects towards the end of the semester I need to start researching too >:@

 

(yeah I don't know what she meant by the end characters.)

 

My conclusion is that if a woman actually wanted to spend time with somebody, she would not have any issue setting aside some time, no matter how busy she is. Busy people will always be busy unless they make it a point not to be.

 

What do you ladies think?

 

(The end characters are suppose to be an angry frustrated face.)

 

Except in my case (:D), that's pretty true.

I even put off seeing the doctor when I fractured something.

In college however, as serious as I was about academics, I still found time to socialize.

A lot of time.

So yeah, I'm not buying that your girl is too busy.

Unless she's crazy involved with clubs, sports, AND class.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted

 

 

 

(The end characters are suppose to be an angry frustrated face.)

Oh, then why she'd make that face?

 

Except in my case (:D), that's pretty true.

I even put off seeing the doctor when I fractured something.

Damn, did you hobble around for a while.

In college however, as serious as I was about academics, I still found time to socialize.

A lot of time.

So yeah, I'm not buying that your girl is too busy.

Ah and there we have it, though from what I've read in your posts, you are also the really outgoing type right?

Unless she's crazy involved with clubs, sports, AND class.

She's doing class and that's it. Her mind's on school 100% and even forsakes her friends, not just me.

 

I'm wondering if she forgets that it's important to be social. I know she has fun, but it's like I have to drag her kicking and screaming before she realizes she's having a good time.

 

Is this more of a woman thing where they get so caught up in whatever they are doing, they forget everything else. I've never really heard about men who were too busy to date.

runner Established Member

runner

Posted
Posted

well i suppose i've broken your trend then, cos i admit to being too busy to date :o ...past gfs have literally grabbed me by the arm so i won't run away :lmao:

 

like C, i'm pretty much tied up with long hours and athletics. heck i even cancelled a lunch meet up with a buddy just this afternoon :(

cerridwen Established Member

cerridwen

Posted
Posted

@runner--Bet I can guess what your sport is.

 

@somedude--She was trying to express annoyance over having to do school work.

Did I hobble around? I used crutches left over from high school.

Was I outgoing in college? I liked socializing.

Is being single-minded about activites just a woman thing? Nope.

Look at runner here.

Many men in their 20s, 30s, and beyond put emphasis on career.

Dating is sometimes one of the casualties of doing so.

runner Established Member

runner

Posted
Posted
@runner--Bet I can guess what your sport is.

 

now how on earth ??.. you and your psychic beard ! :p

 

Look at runner here.

Many men in their 20s, 30s, and beyond put emphasis on career.

Dating is sometimes one of the casualties of doing so.

 

it's been a double edged sword :(

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted

Personally, I would gladly give up just about any engagement I had for a date. The only exception would be good friends, family or some very important work matters that had a deadline that I was worried about not making.

 

Of course this doesn't really apply to the girl I'm talking about because I know she has no interest in dating and I don't have a clue what I am to her.

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